Page 80 of Atlas: The Story of Pa Salt

He raised his eyebrows at her. ‘Now, are you going to give me the real answer?’

She gave him a resigned smile. ‘All right. That last section of the diary was particularly difficult for me.’

Jack sighed and leant on theTitan’s railing. ‘I’m sorry, Al. This must be so rough on you in particular.’

‘It’s hard for all of us,’ Ally replied. ‘I can’t even guess at what your mum’s going through.’

‘Ah, she’s a tough old bird.’

‘Jack!’ Ally couldn’t help but snigger at his outrageous comment.

He chuckled, too. ‘Hey, she’d freely admit it!’ Jack carried on with the point he was determined to make. ‘But I really feel for you, Ally, with Bear and everything. Speaking of which, where is the little man this morning?’

‘He’s currently with Ma.’

‘Lucky him. She’s pretty great with the kids, eh?’

‘Absolutely.’ Ally folded her arms and looked to the floor, unsure how to phrase the compliment she wanted to give. ‘You weren’t so bad yourself with him yesterday. You’re a natural.’ She nodded.

‘Oh, thanks. I’ve always fancied being a dad.’ He cursed himself. ‘Not that... I am his dad. Or... ever would be his dad.’ He shook his head and gripped on to the railing.

‘It’s all right.’ Ally let out a tender giggle.

Jack took a deep breath. ‘I’m crap at this, Ally. But I really wanted to say that... I imagine you’ll be thinking about Theo a lot, in addition to everything else. You must miss himhugely. And that’s on top of everything you’re already going through.’

Jack’s heartfelt words and thoughtfulness touched Ally deeply.

‘I really appreciate you saying that, Jack. Thank you.’

‘I mean it,’ Jack continued. ‘He’d be really proud of you. And Bear too, of course.’

Ally tried to suppress the lump in her throat. ‘Thank you.’

They stood together in silence for a moment, both staring out at the sea. Then Ally slowly reached out a hand. ‘Whilst we’re having awkward conversations, I owe you an apology.’

Jack took her hand, but looked genuinely puzzled. ‘What on earth for, Ally?’

‘For not telling you about Bear when we met in France. It must have been very strange to see him when you arrived.’

‘Oh.’ He shrugged and tried to play it off. ‘Don’t mention it. It’s absolutely none of my business.’

Ally pushed on. ‘Thank you. But Jack... it really sort ofisyour business, and I feel stupid for not telling you. I really am sorry.’

He shook his head. ‘Don’t be silly. How d’you reckon it’s “my business” anyhow?’

Ally steeled herself. ‘Oh boy. Jack... I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to...’

He gripped her hand tighter. ‘Didn’t want to what, Ally?’

‘I didn’t want to drive you away from me,’ Ally admitted.

There was a brief silence. ‘Oh,’ was all Jack could manage in response.

Ally continued. ‘I just assumed, rightly or wrongly, that you might be put off by the fact that I had a new baby. Not to mention that he’s the child of my dead lover.’ Ally put her head in her hands. ‘Honestly, Jack, you couldn’t write it.’

Jack let out a nervous laugh. ‘No. To be honest, I thoughtyou didn’t mention him to me because you didn’t see me as a “serious thing”.’

‘A “serious thing”?’