Page 188 of Atlas: The Story of Pa Salt

Yours, with love,

Rhea Eszu

‘Are you still able to recognise your mother’s handwriting?’ I asked, once Kreeg had finished reading.

He nodded. ‘I am. I do not doubt that the letter is hers. But it does not absolve you in any way. This changes nothing.’

‘I hope it lends context to the truth of what happened that day. That morning, your mother handed me the letter, and then a leather pouch, which she hung around my neck. I swear, Kreeg, I did not know what was held within.’

‘Nonsense! Why would my mother trust you with such an important task? As you have already admitted, I was physically stronger. And her own flesh and blood.’

‘That is precisely why she chose me. The journey was over twenty miles through the frozen conditions. There was no guarantee I would even survive the trip. She was protecting you.’

Kreeg narrowed his eyes. ‘A convenient excuse.’

‘Merely the truth. As you’ll recall, you were out of the house during those days anyway, receiving your academictuition in the neighbouring village. It was only made available to one of us. If that does not assure you that your mother had only your interests at heart, I do not know what will.’

He raised his gun a few inches off the table. ‘Continue with your account.’

I swallowed hard. ‘I remember opening the door to the house to begin my journey. The wind practically forced me back into the hallway. But I struggled outside, and closed the door behind me. I made it about thirty feet away from the house before I saw them.’

‘Them?’

‘The soldiers. Bolsheviks. There were five of them. I knew that their presence meant trouble. I was scared... so I ran for the coal shed and hid myself there. As they approached the house, I saw that they were being led by the man your mother was sleeping with. They banged on the door, but your mother didn’t answer. So they shot the handle and forced entry. I heard her scream...’ I had to pause for a moment and regather myself, as I replayed the sound in my mind. ‘Then they ransacked the house. They smashed vases, lamps, dismantled beds... you remember the devastation.’

Kreeg stayed silent for a moment. ‘I do.’

‘It felt like their search lasted for a long time. But they could not find what they were looking for, because it was hung around my neck. When they didn’t get their prize, the men became angry. They began to shout at their leader, calling him a liar, cursing him for bringing them all here. That caused him to turn on your mother. She protested her innocence vigorously, but he didn’t accept it. I heard her pleading... She said she had a son, that they would make him an orphan...’ Tears were in my eyes as I recounted the events. ‘There was a series of thuds, and your mother’s cries grew quieter and quieter, until there was silence. Then themen simply left, returning to the snow from where they had come.’ I took a moment to gather myself, not wanting to leave out any detail. ‘After a while, I dared to emerge from the coal shed. I was so scared... I walked inside and saw all that they had done. Destroyed our home. I called out for your mother, but no part of me expected her to return my cry. I found her next to the bloodied wooden icon which the tsarevich had given to your father in recognition of his loyal service. That was the weapon the men had used, no doubt as a final message to express their hatred for the tsar and his associates.’

Kreeg drummed his fingers on the table. ‘You had it in your hand when I entered the room.’

‘Yes. I’d merely picked it up to move it away from her. That was all, I swear on the lives of my daughters.’

Kreeg dared to look away from me, and out over the water. ‘I knew something was amiss as I approached the house, because the door was open. I crept inside as quietly as I could, not knowing who I would find. But it was just you.’ He turned back to meet my eye. ‘Do you remember what you said to me, Atlas?’

I swallowed hard. ‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered.

‘I didn’t think you were sorry for what you had done. I thought you were sorry that you had been caught.’

‘You launched yourself at me, Kreeg, without pause. I remember to this day the force with which you ripped the icon out of my hand. You were so strong.’

‘But you wrestled it back...’

‘And you forced me to the ground.’

Kreeg licked his lips at the memory. ‘In the struggle, your shirt ripped open. That’s when I saw the leather pouch. I’d observed it around my mother’s neck many times. I knew then what you had done. Murdering thief.’

‘The difference between us, Kreeg, is that you knew precisely what the pouch contained. I did not.’

‘So you say, Atlas. Yes, I knew of the diamond. I too had heard her talk of it, in less veiled terms than you claim. It was my way out. My ticket to salvation. And you took it from me. You took it all away.’ Kreeg slowly shook his head.

‘That’s when I managed to reach into my pocket and wave the letter in front of your face. And you tried to choke me with it.’

‘It nearly worked.’

‘Yes. If I hadn’t managed to grab the icon...’

‘And attack me with it.’