Page 7 of Any Second Now (Fort Collins Blizzard Hockey #2)

Maybe Her

ATTICUS

I walk out of the players’ gym and through the Blizzard arena to the parking lot, pushing my damp hair off my forehead. The Fort Collins sun is blazing and it’s already almost ninety degrees out.

I’m antsy for drinks tonight with Lachlan and Raleigh. Seeing her yesterday brought up all sorts of feelings. I felt excited for the first time in ages. Like I have something to look forward to instead of just waiting for the offseason to pass so my regular life can start back up again.

It was shocking how fast the crush I’d had on her in college came roaring back on New Year’s Eve. Especially when I finally—fucking finally—got to kiss her.

To get it out of my system, like I told her? Nah. Didn’t work. I haven’t been able to get her out of my head for the past six months.

And then she shows up in Fort Collins on my thirtieth birthday. On a shitty day when my father announces his fourth divorce and I find out the Blizzard acquired Barrett fucking Steele .

Feels like some kind of sign. An explicit sign beating me over the head that says someone’s already here to replace me if I slip up.

One day, I could be like Armas and get a career-ending injury instead of one that heals with a few weeks off. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I shake my head and jump into my Wrangler and toss my workout bag—which I have to intentionally remember to take to the gym in the summer since during the season I can stroll in without a single thing and the team’s staff takes care of everything—into the passenger seat.

Do I overflow from the seat? Yes, yes I do. Would a bigger car have made more sense for a six-foot-four hockey player? Probably. I adjust the hockey rubber duck on my dashboard so it’s nestled in with the other ones.

I navigate the streets of Fort Collins back to my apartment downtown.

Until a few months ago, my sister Lucy was living with me, which was weird at first but really fun in the end.

We hung out and got to know each other again after a decade of living in different places.

That was when she got together with Kellen.

Now she’s in FoCo permanently, in her own apartment with her funny little dog, Waffles.

I would say it’s been quiet without her, but my kitchen is getting renovated and it’s a hot mess of noise and dust and chaos most days. At least they are almost done and take weekends off, but I’m still not a fan of spending a ton of time there. I park my car and sit in the silence for a moment.

Raleigh Hayes, single and in my town.

I thought New Year’s Eve was my only chance. I’d never get it again.

I should’ve gotten in contact with her after.

Emailed, texted, called, messaged through social media, sent an owl or a note via horseback, anything. But instead, I didn’t do a thing.

I walk down the road for a coffee at Deep Roots Cafe instead of into my dusty apartment. Fort Collins is fantastic in the summertime. It’s hot, but a dry heat so the ninety degrees doesn’t feel as awful as where I grew up outside D.C. The sun shines three hundred days a year here.

The center of the town is lined with trees and restaurants, shops, and other retail businesses. I push my way into the coffee shop, which is cozy and crowded with people out for a leisurely Sunday morning coffee.

A pair of women whisper together as they wait for their drinks.

A toddler throws what appears to be cheerios at their older sibling at a table, the parents staring at their phones instead of intervening.

In front of me, a quiet couple holds hands.

And then there’s me.

Who would I ever bring here? I imagine inviting Lachlan to get a coffee with me on a Sunday morning like this and shake my head.

He’d do it, but probably talk about his girlfriend the whole time.

I love him like a brother, along with my other teammates.

They’re my family. We even have a book club, and now that I think about it, I get to pick the October book.

I haven’t decided if I’m gonna go horror or thriller.

Lachlan always chooses romance, the sap.

The barista hands me my latte and thoughts of book club give me another idea for an RV-warming gift for Raleigh, so I head to the connected bookstore, A Good Book.

Raleigh talked about how she wants to reinvent herself. There’s gotta be books about that. I stand in the doorway and shift my baseball hat on my curls.

“Can I help you find something?”

I turn at the sound of a woman’s voice. She’s probably around my age, standing right inside The Good Book with a nametape pinned to her shirt. Rose, it says. Dark hair in a cute messy bun, glasses, dark eyes. Pretty.

“Oh, no, I’m just browsing. ”

“You more look like you’re just standing there.” She tilts her head.

I chuckle. “You’re right. I do need some help.”

“Great.” Rose waits patiently for me to say more, reaching up to adjust her glasses.

“I’m looking for a few books for a friend. She’s, uh, reinventing herself.”

“So you want self-help?”

“Mmm, do I?”

“Or maybe memoir. I have tons that feature women reinventing themselves. After divorce?”

“Yes,” I say with a nod. “That’s exactly right.”

“Follow me.” The woman looks over her shoulder as she walks away. “I’m Rose, by the way.”

“Atticus.”

Rose steps down one of the narrow aisles to a bookshelf labeled Memoir . She runs her finger across the spines and then plucks a book from the shelf that pictures the back of a woman standing on a cliff, arms open wide. The title is 53 Stops .

“I really like this one. She got divorced and decided to travel to fifty-three places in the year ahead of her fifty-third birthday.”

I take the book from Rose. That’s pretty close, even though Raleigh’s twenty years younger.

“She’s is in her thirties, so might not hit exactly right. But I’ll hang onto it.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” Rose blinks pretty dark eyes at me. “Knowing that will help me make recommendations.”

“No, just a friend,” I say. I’m not sure how that knowledge will help her. Rose’s cheeks pinker, and I realize she thinks I’m flirting with her. Am I? I don’t mean to.

But I did just tell her Raleigh’s not my girlfriend. Which is a fact.

Six months ago, I’d turn up the charm a notch and obviously flirt. But when I search for that desire inside me now, it’s just not there.

“Right.” She turns back to the shelf and scans a few rows of books until she finds another. “This is about one woman’s sexual awakening after she split from a long-term partner and lost her job. She was thirty-five, so maybe closer to your friend’s age.”

I nod and take the book from her, imagining myself handing Raleigh a book with a couple—wait, no, there’s three people—entwined on a bed on the front cover. How I Found My Wild Side, it’s called.

Meh, why not.

“And here’s one about a woman finding herself after her parents pass away at the age of twenty-nine. She starts her own company. It’s more business focused.”

I accept the book, titled Woman Boss , from Rose’s hand. “I’ll take all three,” I say, trying not to overthink things.

Books for Raleigh feel like a great idea. She can read while lying in the hammock and looking out over the picturesque lake.

I follow Rose to the front.

“I’m new in town. Anything you recommend I do to get to know Fort Collins?” Rose asks too-casually as she scans the books into a tablet.

“Go to a Blizzard game,” I say automatically.

She pauses in her tapping and looks up.

“Are you a hockey player?” Her eyes flit down over my body.

I nod. “It’s the offseason, but we’ll be back in September.”

“Alright.” She smiles broadly at me. “I don’t know a lot about hockey, but I’ll give it a shot.”

Rose stares at me for another beat, and maybe I should offer her tickets or give her more suggestions or maybe even ask her out. But I don’t. I don’t want to make any more small talk with her, as nice as she seems.

Rose turns the tablet around so I can tap my card and sign .

“Let me know how your friend likes them.” She’s still got a smile on her face as I gather up the three books.

“Sure. See you around.” I dash out of the bookstore.

Maybe I should follow Lachlan and Kellen’s lead and get myself a girlfriend. Maybe I should try dating someone like Rose. She was obviously interested in talking to me, and I don’t think it was only to help me pick out books.

But…I don’t want to date Rose.

I’m more interested in hanging out with Raleigh.

Maybe Raleigh can help me figure my life out, even though her path couldn’t have been more different than mine. I was skating into the unknown, pursing a professional hockey career. She was settling down in a small town with a husband and stable career right out of school.

Suddenly, her being here feels like more than a sign.

Raleigh is in Fort Collins.

No Lucy and Kellen to interfere.

Even Lachlan is too distracted with his girlfriend to really notice what I’m doing.

I pull out my phone.

Me

hey, pretty lady. See you in a couple hours at black diamond, right?

Raleigh

Yup

What do you think about a cross-stitch that is a giant flame and the words ‘everything’s fine’ in the center?

Me

I feel like maybe you should talk to a professional about that

Raleigh

Very funny. See you tonigh t

I grin and look up as I walk back to my apartment.

Raleigh’s here.

This is my chance to hang out with her.

Get to know her better.

See what happens, without the prying eyes of my teammates and her friends.

No one’s paying attention but me.