Page 4 of Another Underworld (Good To The Last Demon #6)

CHAPTER FOUR

“What time is it?” I asked as I stared at the spot where my family had been standing only minutes ago. I felt solid with my decision, but I missed them—even Uncle Joe’s bouncing balls.

The sun was still high in the sky, and day was as pretty as any other in Southern California. However, this wasn’t just another day. It was either the beginning or the beginning of the end. The big picture was as hard to comprehend as the fact that Abaddon was a gazillion years old. I’d taken so much into my brain in such a short amount of time that I should’ve been curled up in a ball on the ground babbling like an idiot.

But I wasn’t.

I didn’t know if that was because I was tough or insane. Did it matter? No. It didn’t.

“Five o’clock,” Cher said, handing me a wine cooler. “You okay?”

I nodded but declined the drink. The coolers were just too darn sweet. Plus, getting drunk or even buzzed on the fizzy Kool-aid wasn’t a luxury I could afford right now. I was basically like a surgeon on call, and if I got inebriated and took out a liver instead of an appendix, someone was going to die. Phyllis was the festering, infected pain in my appendix, and her promise of revenge without the courtesy of a timeline meant, at any moment, she could burst all over me. I had to stay on my toes.

The riot of emotions blasting in my mind made my head hurt. It was like I’d been thrown into a tank of hungry sharks, and I wasn’t a good swimmer. Voicing my doubt in front of Pandora didn’t sit right. She was a huge part of the problem. She needed to get her rogue Demons back from wherever they’d absconded, but I had my doubts about whether I could convince them to accept her again or not. Her crappy attitude didn’t help. I swore, if she so much as called a single Demon a shit stain and undermined my efforts, I’d electrocute the shit stain right out of her.

The rumbling of my stomach put an end to my chaotic inner monologue.

“Is anyone hungry?” I asked.

“Always,” Candy Vargo announced.

“No worries,” Cher said, hustling into the house. “I’ll whip something up real quick.”

That was a little alarming since the last time Cher had cooked it consisted of burned toast and raw hotdogs. Whatever. I kind of liked burned toast.

“Cher cannot cook,” Fifi pointed out. “Should I order pizza?”

I laughed. “No, let’s see how bad it is and then make a call.”

“As you wish, My Liege Bitch Goddess Cecily.”

I was about to tell her she could drop the liege part but didn’t. Fifi was very much about pomp and circumstance. If it made her happy, who was I to complain?

“Do we have an actual fucking plan?” Pandora snapped, eyeing me with distaste.

So much for thinking she wasn’t a gaping douche. But to be fair, she was probably as worried as I was. What if the end came, and the Higher Power had nothing to do with it? What if Armageddon arrived because no one would accept both of us as the Goddesses of the Darkness? Hell, what if alien cockroaches really were living in my drywall? Actually, the cockroach theory was the best-case scenario.

“Tomorrow, we go into the Darkness even if we haven’t heard from Dagon. We need to establish that Pandora is back. If we’re not worshiped, we cease to exist. Along with that possibly insurmountable task, we’re keeping our eyes wide open for the Higher Power,” I stated firmly. Turning to Abaddon, I asked, “Have you tried to reach Dagon?”

“Multiple times,” he replied, stone-faced.

“Is it normal for him not to answer?”

“No.”

And, yet again, my stomach cramped up. Had something happened to Dagon and the others? That seemed highly unlikely. Dagon was feared and respected. He was also one of the fiercest fighters alive. I really, really hoped he was still alive.

As if wishes became reality—which was rare—Dagon and Shiva appeared in my living room in a blast of red mist. His expression was unreadable, and his demeanor was tense. Neither Demon looked good. Shiva’s clothes were bloodstained, and Dagon had a long, jagged cut on his right cheek and bruises on his face. The wound was raw and bleeding profusely, which was shocking since a Demon of his age and power healed fast.

“Bitch Goddess Cecily,” he said, bowing to me as Shiva followed suit. Shiva grimaced as she bowed. In the past, I would have chalked that up to the fact that she despised me. However, we’d come to a truce, and it was clear that she was in pain. Both gave Pandora the side eye, but didn’t say anything about her presence.

“Dagon,” I replied, indicating we should go into my house. “Where are Corny, Irma, Moon, Stella and Jonny?”

“They’re still in the Darkness,” he replied flatly, looking wildly displeased.

My eyes narrowed, and my fingers began to spark. “Explain,” I said tightly.

“I will,” he replied as his knees suddenly buckled.

Before Dagon could go down, Abaddon was beside him, bracing the wounded Demon and helping him into the house. I knew Abaddon was fast, but I’d barely seen him move. Fifi aided Shiva, and Candy Vargo brought up the rear with an odd expression on her face.

Once we were seated, Cher doled out the sandwiches that she’d made. They looked surprisingly edible. Fifi was shocked. The Succubus took a tentative bite then gave me a covert thumbs up. Unfortunately, my appetite was gone. The mood in the room had killed it.

Dagon and Shiva, however, ate like they were starved. It was unsettling.

Candy Vargo passed on the food as well, watching Dagon and Shiva with focused interest. It put everyone on edge.

“Can you tell me what happened on the Higher Power’s plane?” Dagon asked as he finished two sandwiches then gratefully accepted another sandwich from Cher. “And then I will try to give an explanation as to the others’ absence.”

“I can.” It gave them a thorough accounting of our time on the Higher Plane, leaving nothing out. Both Dagon and Shiva paled considerably when they heard I’d threatened the Higher Power, but they didn’t call me out on it. The only part of the story Dagon asked for clarification on was the description of the Higher Power.

I obliged. “She’s a chain-smoking, smack talking, nightmare.”

“Hmmf,” he grunted as he wolfed down the next sandwich.

I gave him a level stare. Why were his wounds getting worse? I turned my attention to Shiva. Blood was seeping through her shirt with no sign of slowing down. There was something terrible at work here—something that was stopping their ability to fix the damage to their bodies.

I narrowed my gaze at them. “Why aren’t either of your wounds healing?”

Dagon gingerly touched his face and winced then glanced at Shiva. She shook her head.

Finally, he shrugged. “We don’t know.”

Candy Vargo spit out her toothpick and crossed the room. She didn’t say a word as she examined the two Demons. She waved her hands in a circular motion above their heads. Sparkling orange crystals rained down from the ceiling and covered them. As soon as the crystals hit their skin, they turned an inky black. The smell was foul, and Shiva cried out as she doubled over in pain.

“Death magic,” Candy spat with disgust. “Who in the fuck did this to you?”

Shiva’s chin fell to her chest. “We don’t know. We couldn’t see the enemy.”

“The air,” Dagon added. “The mist was so thick.”

Candy Vargo whistled and put six fresh toothpicks into her mouth. She turned to me. “Well, badass, you got way the hell more of a problem in the Darkness than getting those treasonous fuckers to like Pandora again.”

Dagon’s gaze jumped to mine. “We’re trying to get Demons to accept Pandora?”

“I’ll explain later,” I told him. I threw my arms into and air and snapped, “Could this day get any worse?”

“Yep,” Candy Vargo replied. “It can always get worse. So, here’s what we’re gonna do. You finish up whatever you Demons need to talk about then I’ll split these two open from sternum to groin and pull the death magic out.”

“I’m sorry. What the hell did you just say?” I asked, hoping I’d heard her wrong.

“You like these fuckers?” she demanded, pointing at me with a spit covered toothpick.

“Yes.”

“You want them to live to see tomorrow?”

“I do.”

“Then I gotta get that shit out of their system, pronto. You have a half hour to yack and then I start cuttin’.”

“Umm… they’ll survive that… the cutting?” I asked, glad that I hadn’t eaten a sandwich since I felt like I was going to puke.

“Probably,” she said casually. “What they won’t survive is death magic.”

Shiva stood and bowed to the Keeper of Fate. “Thank you. I shall be in your debt.”

“Dang right you will,” Candy shot back.

“As will I,” Dagon added. “Thank you, Keeper of Fate.”

Candy Vargo pointed at Abaddon. He gave her an affirmative nod. She then turned to Pandora and glared. “You in or out,” she asked tersely.

“In,” Pandora said reluctantly.

What the heck was going on? This was freaking nuts.

“Talk,” Candy Vargo barked. “Time’s tickin’, badass.”

“Right. So umm…” My thoughts raced and for a hot sec I forgot what we’d been discussing. The visual of Candy Vargo slicing open Dagon and Shiva and ripping stuff out of them was forefront in my mind. Pinching my weenus would not help this time. Shockingly, it was Pandora who got us back on track.

She crossed her arms over her chest and addressed Dagon directly. “Tell us what’s happening in the Darkness.”

The wounded Demon shook his head. “I’m not sure. Our people are worshiping a different God.”

“God?” Abaddon ground out. “A man? Our society is matriarchal. That makes no sense.”

“Agreed,” Dagon replied. “At least I think it’s a man. We didn’t see him, but felt a distinct masculine presence. He’s damned Pandora for killing Lilith, and he’s damned Cecily for being half-human.”

“Lilith isn’t dead,” Pandora hissed.

Dagon might be bleeding and in pain, but he shot Pandora a glare so vicious that even I wanted to hide. “She is no longer a Demon. She is no longer a Goddess. In the Darkness, Lilith may as well be dead. You are responsible for that,” he coldly.

Pandora’s gaze dropped. She stared at the floor. She had no comeback. There was no comeback. Truth was set in stone.

“I’m not human anymore,” I said. “I’m a full Demon now.”

Dagon nodded. “Yes, I know. But this false God has run with the fact that a human man fathered you. He’s convinced our kind that it’s time for change—that a man should be running the Darkness… not weak and fallible women.”

“What kind of sexist, misogynistic bullshit is that?” Pandora demanded. “The Darkness belongs to me… and Cecily.”

Dagon stared at her, his expression hard.

Again, she dropped her gaze.

“No one wants you back, Pandora,” he said. “Your sins have eclipsed any power you may have held. Your name is spoken like a curse. The Darkness does not belong to you anymore.”

While a small part of me felt for the person she could become, the person she had been was despicable. I felt no mercy for her past self, but I knew what Pandora could be, and I also knew that the only way the Darkness would survive was if we worked together.

“Enough,” I said. “We’re moving on. Help me understand why Corny, Irma, Stella, Moon, and Jonny aren’t with you?”

May I, Bitch Goddess Cecily?” Shiva inquired.

I nodded. “You may.”

“Your friends went rogue,” she said with a hint of fury in her voice. “When Dagon told them it was time to leave, Irma shifted into a mouse. It was terrifying. The mouse took the guards by surprise, and the other four, plus the rodent, slipped into the castle.”

It was bizarre and somewhat funny that Demons were deathly scared of mice, but Shiva’s story made no sense. “What castle? Mine? Pandora’s?”

“Yours,” Shiva confirmed. “Pandora’s castle was destroyed.”

Pandora’s lips compressed to a thin line and her hands clenched into fists at her sides. I could feel her power rippling in the air from across the room.

I shook my head. I wasn’t sure what she had expected. The entire Demon race was aware that she’d killed Lilith. There was always going to be backlash.

I crossed the room and seated myself beside her on the couch. I put a comforting hand on her arm and kept my voice gentle. “Don’t do anything stupid, Stinky Whore.”

She swore under her breath then forced herself to calm down.

My shoulders slumped with relief as her power receded. Whew. “Okay,” I said, turning my attention back to Dagon and Shiva. “Why did they sneak into the castle?”

Dagon closed his eyes for a long moment, then sighed. “Your guess would be as good as mine. Corny Crackers had stripped down to his birthday suit and was wielding knitting needles. Jonny morphed into some kind of monster with claws, fangs and a detachable jaw.”

Shiva shuddered. “It was… interesting. Did you know that Stella’s bosom is a machine gun?”

“I did,” I replied. I’d been in battle with the fearsome five by my side. Their talents were bizarre and deadly. “And Moon?”

“Started singing,” Dagon said, perplexed.

“Shit,” I muttered. Moon sang to draw the danger out. “What’s in the castle?”

“The new God,” Dagon said. “Or that’s the rumor.”

I stood up and paced the room. Those idiots who I adored were going to get themselves killed. Their shenanigans made me itchy, and I was tempted to peel off my own skin. That would be counterproductive. I had shit to take care of.

“You really think they went after the fake usurping God?” I asked, circling the room at a quick clip. If I didn’t move, I’d spontaneously combust. Again, counterproductive. And it would suck if I accidentally set myself on fire. I liked my house, and didn’t want to burn it to ash.

“I do,” Shiva said. “From what we saw, they will not succeed.”

“Specifics?” I asked flatly. Checking my watch, we had about ten more minutes before Candy Vargo did surgery—for lack of a better word.

“Camps,” Dagon said, looking utterly defeated. “Camps all over the Darkness.”

“Camps?” Abaddon asked.

“Detention camps. Work camps. Sky high electric fences,” he clarified. “If a Demon still worships the Bitch Goddess Cecily, they are sent to hard labor.”

“Hard labor hardly does what’s happening to our most loyal justice,” Shiva said with tears rolling down her cheeks. “Demons can be violent and unreasonable people, but what we saw was beyond inhumane.”

Pandora was beginning to glow again. Not a good sign. “And if they worship me?” she asked.

“No one worships you anymore,” Shiva told her. “No one.”

Walking over to the wall, I put my fist through it.

“Feel better?” Cher asked.

“A little,” I told the Angel. Getting Pandora accepted again had already been a hard ask, but now it would be next to impossible. Dealing with a male Demon who decided he was a God was dangerous—very dangerous. Especially if the asshole had death magic.

I walked over to Candy Vargo and took her hands in mine. “Is there an antidote to this death magic?”

She squeezed my hands and gave me a lopsided grin. “Best antidote is to avoid that shit, but if you get hit chew on one of these fuckers.” She reached into the pocket of her ratty sweatpants and pulled out a glowing box of toothpicks.

Was I being punked? “Seriously?” I asked.

“Deadly,” she said, producing four more boxes and tossing one each to Abaddon, Fifi, Pandora and Cher. “You get hit, chomp on the pick. It’ll burn your mouth like you chewed up a bushel of ghost peppers, but it gets the fuckin’ job done.”

“Candy Vargo, do you carry those around with you all the time?” Cher asked, tucking her box into the cleavage.

Candy chuckled. “You’d be surprised at what I have in my pockets.”

“You’re a good girl,” Cher told her buddy. “But if those chew picks have the antidote, then why aren’t you having Dagon and Shiva use them as condiments for their sandwiches?”

“It’s everywhere inside them now.” Candy Vargo shook her head. “It will only work if you get the antidote in you immediately after you come in contact with the death magic.”

I gave Cher a nod of thanks. “Good question.”

“Time,” Abaddon said, reminding me we were running out of it.

He was correct. “Anything else you can tell us?” I asked Dagon and Shiva.

More blood ran from Dagon’s wound, and his voice had grown weaker. “If I were in charge, which I am not, I would find a way to release your loyal worshipers from the camps. I’d assess the situation at the castle then attack.”

“And Pandora?” I asked. “Do you have any thoughts on how we can make our people accept her again?”

The look Dagon gave me was what I would have to describe as constipated. It was not reassuring.

“I’m sorry, Bitch Goddess Cecily. For that, you are on your own. And I wish you more luck than has ever been granted to anyone.”

“Well, fuck,” I muttered.

“And on that vote of confidence, it’s time to carve up some fuckin’ Demons,” Candy Vargo announced, pulling a dagger from the back of her sweatpants. The hilt was jeweled. The blade was vicious, and the damn thing glowed so bright I had to shield my eyes.

“You fuckers ready?” she asked.

Shiva was as pale as Uncle Joe and simply nodded her head.

Dagon answered. “No, but let’s do it.” Dagon saluted the Keeper of Fate.

Candy Vargo saluted him back. “I like a good attitude,” she mused then glanced over at Pandora. “I’d suggest to learn somethin’ from these two. You have a steep road ahead of your ass, and I won’t be there to guide you.”

“Wait,” I said, confused. “I thought you were coming with us.”

“Change of plans, badass,” she said, twirling the blade in her fingers. “Pullin’ the fuckin’ magic out is gonna knock me on my sexy ass for a bit.”

“Define bit,” I said.

Candy Vargo shrugged and moved the coffee table out of the way. “Don’t know until I get in there. But I can tell you this. Dagon and Shiva are gonna owe me for the rest of time.”

Screaming would have felt awesome. Puking would have come in a close second. It wasn’t until I felt the touch of Abaddon’s hand on my shoulder that I was able to pull myself away from the panic attack that was coming on fast.

I was the Goddess of the Darkness—one of two. I was the daughter of Lilith. Dagon and Shiva were my subjects. I would liberate the Demons from the camps who were loyal to me and end those who were not. Candy Vargo was my friend and about to save the lives of two who were important to me. I would go into the Darkness with Abaddon, Pandora, Cher and Fifi. A small and extremely deadly army was better than no army at all. I would pull some kind of plan out of my ass to help Pandora regain trust, and I would defeat the false God. And if I didn’t end up dead, dealing with the Higher Power would be a piece of cake. At least, that’s what I was telling myself. And then… I’d soundproof my house and bang Abaddon until neither of us could walk for a week. Or a month.

Truthfully, the movie of my life, which wasn’t a movie at all, was bad—full of plot holes and risky, dangerous scenes that would be impossible to shoot. The chances of someone dying on the set were high.

Too freaking bad. So, freaking sad.

I’d been cast at birth and my contract had me locked in for life. Every day I felt like I was about to go on stage naked and unrehearsed. Terrified was an understatement. However, Uncle Joe’s quote from Robert A. Heinlein came to mind—Courage is the compliment of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. He is also a fool.

I was many things. Scared? Yes. A fool? No.

“The supreme act of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting,” I said aloud. “Sun Tzu.”

Candy Vargo raised a brow at me. “While the words make sense, I don’t think Sun Tzu was talkin’ about batshit Demons.”

“Maybe not,” I agreed. “But as Margaret Atwood wisely said, war is what happens when language fails. I’m going to use my words first and my sword second.”

“Good luck with that, badass,” she said. “You’re gonna need it.”