Page 1 of Another Underworld (Good To The Last Demon #6)

CHAPTER ONE

Hand in hand, we landed in the front yard of my LA home with a violent thud. While I wasn’t a big fan of pain, pain meant I wasn’t dead. That was a win right now. I immediately checked to make sure I still had a head. I did. I glanced over at Pandora, relieved to see she still had hers as well.

I stared at the woman who used to be my immortal nemesis. She stared back at me. Our expressions were identical—shock, disbelief and awe. I wouldn’t call her my friend, but she was no longer the enemy.

“Did what I think just happened actually happen?” Pandora whispered, squinting at me.

I nodded. “It happened.”

The events of the last several hours were forefront in my mind. We’d been sliced, diced, and dismembered in some of the most horrific celestial versions of reality competitions and game shows. The Higher Power aka Phyllis, the most despicable being in the Universe, had stacked the games against us, but she couldn’t keep a Demon Goddess down...or a bad one either for that matter. Pandora and I were still alive. I considered that a win. However, each moment in the Higher Power’s presence was a moment I could never get back. I despised It with everything I had as I replayed the shitshow we’d just lived through…

“Get your ass out here, Phyllis. I’m onto youse,” I called out.

“Get out of town,” Pandora shouted, still trapped inside my body. “The talking fucking ashtray is the Higher Power?”

Phyllis’ cackle came before her entrance. In a trail of cigarette smoke, she came out from behind the curtain. “Took youse a while,” she said, grinning like a fool.

I just shrugged. “You owe me.”

She shook her head. “Nope. I don’t owe youse nothin’.”

Technically, she was right. However, she did owe someone and that someone was here. No one could see her, but both the Higher Power and I could hear her.

“Take it, Shitty Whore. It’s your turn,” I told Pandora.

“With pleasure,” she purred from inside me. “You screwed me over, Phyllis.”

Phyllis chuckled and lit up a ciggie. “Youse are the one who opened the box, Pandora. Not me.”

“You never told me what was in it,” she hissed.

“Not my problem,” the pontificating ashtray snapped. “I told youse not to open it. Do the crime. Pay the time.”

Pandora was at a loss for words.

I was not.

“Listen to me, you crunchy-haired shit,” I ground out. “No, Pandora shouldn’t have opened the damned box. But you shouldn’t have gifted something that would destroy lives. That’s an asshole move. Someone who has no compassion would do that. No morals. Nothing. You have nothing. You’re lower than any being I’ve ever come across.” I began to pace I was so pissed. “I have no clue why everyone thinks you’re so great. I think you’re a dick. Only a heartless piece of crap would have set people up to fail like this. You failed Lilith. You failed Pandora. You failed the fucking world.”

The Higher Power’s eyes were wide, and she watched me with an expression I couldn’t decipher. I couldn’t tell if she wanted to kill me or worse. I didn’t care.

“Here’s the deal,” I snarled.

“You go, guuurl,” Pandora shouted.

“I will,” I assured her. “You’ve already caused more harm than good. The end will come if there aren’t two Goddesses of the Darkness—a rule you freaking made. Right now, I’m both of them. That’s not going to work. You’re going to let Pandora out of me, and we’re leaving.”

“Am I?” Phyllis inquired, taking a long and painfully slow drag on her cigarette until the entire stick turned cherry red.

“You are,” Pandora shouted. “Bitch Goddess Cecily doesn’t deserve this. I might but she doesn’t. Let me out of her so she can live her life, you bitch.”

“Hang on,” I told Pandora. “Pandora doesn’t deserve this either. Finally, after trillions of years, the hope was released from the box. Pandora absorbed it. She should be given a chance to live a life of happiness and goodness.”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far,” Pandora commented.

“Shut up, Stinky Whore,” I snapped. “Let me handle this.”

“So,” Phyllis said, lighting up yet another cigarette. “Youse two are gettin’ along now? Youse can work together? Youse can rule the Darkness without killin’ each other? Is dat what I’m seein’ here?”

I was stunned to silence. Had this been some kind of warped test? Pandora seemed at a loss for words as well. That was rare for her.

“Answer my question,” Phyllis said with her eyes narrowed to slits.

“Yes,” Pandora finally said. “We can work together in harmony after I take my punishment for killing Lilith.”

“And youse are gonna do that without no protest?” Phyllis pressed.

“I am,” Pandora said.

“And youse,” she said, pointing at me. “Youse got a real shitty mouth on youse. Youse gonna work on that?”

The theme of Alice in Wonderland roared to the front of my brain. Embrace your true self. If that was the lesson to be learned, then the Higher Power had put that lesson in place. I knew my answer. She wasn’t going to like it, but I was going to embrace and own who I was.

“No,” I said flatly. “I’m not going to watch my language. I am who I am. I’m a good person. I have compassion. I don’t screw with people’s lives like you do. I am fair and I care. So, no. I will not watch my mouth.”

The Higher Power threw her head back and laughed. “Fine. Youse want her out then she can come out.”

Phyllis waved her hand and Pandora left my body. Her exit left me feeling strangely empty and sad. However, the voice formerly inside my mind was now the woman standing next to me. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. She was truly stunning on the outside. But the best part was that the hope was shining through. It was in her eyes. She’d fight it, but it would win.

“Cecily,” Pandora said with a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Pandora,” I replied, smiling back.

She extended her hand. I reached out and took it in mine.

“Well, ain’t dat sweet,” Phyllis said sarcastically. “Youse know there’s a catch. Ain’t nothin’ that can happen in the Immortal world without a catch.”

“What’s the catch?” Pandora demanded.

Phyllis smiled. It wasn’t pretty, but neither was she. “Only one of youse can leave.”

I wanted to attack her. The need to end the Higher Power was intense. Pandora held my hand tight and kept me from going at her. There was no way Pandora was staying here. This was my dream state. There was a good chance I could get out of it myself. There was no way she could leave it without aid. The decision was easy.

“She can leave,” I said at the same time Pandora said the exact words about me.

My gazed jerked to hers in shock. “No,” I insisted. “You go. I can get back on my own.”

She shook her head. “No, Cecily. You will leave. It’s the right thing to do. You have an entire life to go back to. I have nothing. I can serve my time here. Maybe once that’s done, I’ll be able to come back. You should go.”

“I’m not leaving without you,” I told her. “Period.” My attention turned to the Higher Power. “We’re leaving together. You made the rule that there had to be two Goddesses of the Darkness. If you don’t let us leave, Armageddon will come, and you will be the cause.” I smiled at her. It was icy and didn’t reach my eyes. “And just so you know, if you don’t play it my way, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure the entire Immortal Universe knows that you’re the harbinger of the end. It’s all on you, Phyllis.”

“Are youse threatenin’ me?” she asked.

Pandora laughed. “I believe she is.” She squeezed my hand. “I shall not be revoking your Demon card after all. That was very badass of you, Bitch Goddess Cecily.”

“Thank you, Goddess Pandora.”

“Fine,” Phyllis said, not happy at all. “But ders only one way for both of youse to leave at the same time.”

“I don’t care what it is,” I told her. “Just do what you have to do.”

The Higher Power grinned. It was terrifying.

The icy-white sword, as big as she was, appeared in her hands. The blood-red veins still pulsed through it, making it seem alive.

“Well, shit,” Pandora muttered. “Figures.”

Getting here had been quick and painless. Leaving… not so much. Without any pomp or circumstance, the insane talking ashtray raised the terrifying sword over her head.

Without any word of warning, the crazy bitch decapitated both of us.

And then...I was home. Pandora was with me. My relief was short-lived. One battle had been won, but another one was already brewing.

From behind me, there was a commotion. I looked over my shoulder fast enough to give me whiplash. It didn’t surprise me to see all the people I loved in the world on my porch and ready to kick some ass on my behalf. They had my back no matter what. The love of my life, Abaddon, was front and center and looking extremely hot, figuratively and literally, with his fire sword drawn and a murderous look in his eyes. Candy Vargo’s face was furious, and her body glowed dangerously as she floated into the air for a more offensive position. It was singularly terrifying, considering she was the Keeper of Fate, and an angry Candy Vargo usually ended in bloodshed… lots of bloodshed. Fifi, Gideon, Daisy, Charlie, Tim, Cher and Heather flanked them. They were all armed and extremely dangerous.

Except my mother. She was the only one unarmed. As she stared at Pandora and me, I watched her expression transform from fear to worry to relief, and then the most amazing look of wonder crossed her beautiful face. She understood. Pandora wasn’t my enemy. Not any more.

Quickly, I got to my feet, pulling Pandora up with me. The events on the higher plane were still raw in my mind, and it made me oddly protective of my ex-evil counterpart. I put myself between her and the small army on my front porch.

“Everyone, stand down,” I ordered. “Pandora is not going to run. She’s willing to accept her punishment.”

“You sure about that, Badass?” Candy Vargo asked skeptically, chewing on her ever-present toothpick.

“Very,” I assured her. Unfortunately, that assurance hadn’t been enough. I told them what happened on the Higher Plane. I even told them about how Pandora had been willing to sacrifice her freedom to save me. In the end, it took over an hour to field their questions—of which there were many—before everyone got on the same page with me. I’d skimmed over some of the minor details, but the general gist of the nightmare had been conveyed. At least enough for my crew to stop looking at Pandora like a pinata they wanted to bash. That would have to be good enough for now.

Pandora, emboldened by the fact that they’d finally put their weapons away, stepped out from behind me and stood by my side. “Bitch Goddess Cecily speaks the truth.” She looked at me and gave me a small smile of gratitude. “My guess is that Bitch Goddess Cecily always speaks the truth.”

“She does,” Lilith said, crossing the yard and approaching the woman who had killed and rendered her mortal.

I took a small step back as the two women stared at each other—my mom and the Demon who had ended her immortality.

The air felt electric.

Finally, Pandora spoke. “I… I…” She was having a hard time.

“I forgive you,” Lilith said softly.

Pandora couldn’t look at my mother. Lilith reached out and lifted the Demon Goddess’s chin until their gazes met.

“Over time,” Lilith continued, “we’ve both done wrong by each other repeatedly. For that, I’m sorry. Sleeping with the man you loved was despicable.”

“Despicable? Yes. However, killing you trumps you banging a paramour,” Pandora said with a wince of discomfort. “But I forgive you too. I deeply regret killing you. It was a very shitty thing to do.”

“Underfuckingstatement,” Candy Vargo said.

Pandora gave Candy a flat stare. Candy gave it right back.

“Correct.” Pandora softened her gaze. “It is an underfuckingstatement,” she admitted with a shrug. “What I am grateful for is that you have the gift to live the rest of your life with love.”

“You have that chance too, Pandora,” Lilith told her. “Where there’s hope there is light. Maybe you could find him and…”

Pandora’s gaze hardened, and her eyes turned icy. Her expression made me take a step forward. It made everyone step forward. She’d killed Lilith once. Luckily, it hadn’t been permanent. This time, it would be. Thankfully, she used her words.

“No, Lilith,” she said sharply in a hollow tone. “That ship has sailed. I shall take my punishment and then do my best to do no more harm. That’s all I have left in me.”

I didn’t believe that, and someday Pandora wouldn’t either. I felt it in my bones and my heart. The day might not happen for a long time from now, but eventually, it would come. Since we lived forever, we had time. It was bizarre to hear them talk of sleeping with each other’s lovers and Pandora murdering my mom with such calm, but they were older than dirt. Maybe with age came wisdom… or maybe not. Maybe it was more akin to insanity. It was too deep to ponder right now.

I walked away from Lilith and Pandora. There was someone I needed to touch. The need to touch him was stronger than the necessity for oxygen in my lungs. Abaddon met me halfway and held me so tightly it was difficult to breathe.

“It was crazy,” he whispered, his lips buried in my hair. “Your body disappeared. In the dream state, you should have been on the couch the whole time. But as soon as you fell asleep, you vanished.” His voice was rough with emotion, and I was pretty sure he had no intention of letting me go anytime soon. “I died a thousand deaths.”

“I love you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my cheek against his chest as I inhaled the masculine scent that warmed his skin. “I’m here.” I tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m back. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“What the fuck?” Candy Vargo bellowed as an explosion erupted in the street.

My heart sank as I reluctantly let go of Abaddon and took a more defensive position next to him.

I had been terrified that Pandora had broken her word.

Thankfully, she hadn’t. Instead, my newly minted friend’s sword was drawn, and she’d put herself in front of Lilith to protect her. Only when the smoke cleared did she lower her brandished weapon.

My relief, once again, was short-lived.

“What the fuck is right,” I muttered, quickly running to the frightened group assembled on the street. They looked unsure and terrified. “No one attack,” I shouted. “I know these people. They’re my friends.”

Drogruzun, Brolrath and Ezzanod, along with the Clarks, the Dollys, the Brads, the Warrens and the Jennnifers, were trembling and looking around wildly at the unfamiliar setting.

When Ezzanod finally saw me, a huge smile broke out on his Mr. McFeely face.

“Is that Pee-wee Fuckin’ Herman over there?” Candy Vargo asked.

“Kind of,” I told her. “Ezzanod, why are you here?”

He turned back and looked at the rest of his travel companions. “We bring a message from Phyllis or rather… the Higher Power.” His expression was one of both sorrow and terror.

Pandora walked over and stood by my side. “What does that talking ashtray have to say?”

The Dollys stepped forward. Each bowed to both me and Pandora. When they opened their mouths to speak, it was the voice of Phyllis that came out. They spoke in unison as the blood in my veins ran cold.

“Youse fucked up, Cecily,” the Dollys said, looking confused and scared. “I don’t like bein’ threatened. Youse are gonna pay for dat. The game has just begun, Demon. Youse better watch your back, because I’m gonna exact my revenge when youse least expect it. Good luck. Youse are gonna need it.”

All of the Dollys passed out. The other munchkins ran to their aid.

“Would someone care to explain that?” Abaddon asked.

I took a deep breath and pinched my weenus. Amazingly, squeezing the loose skin on my elbow calmed me a bit. Point to Tim for that one. “Umm… I might have threatened the Higher Power and…”

“Might have?” Pandora inquired with a raised brow and a slight grin.

“Fine,” I admitted. “I threatened the Higher Power. However, it was well deserved. She’s a bitch.”

The gasps were loud. The faces of my loved ones were ashen. I got the feeling I might have seriously fucked up. Only my mother, Abaddon and Pandora seemed to be on my side.

Our asses had just gotten out of the frying pan, and we’d landed in a nuclear dumpster fire. I looked at my Demon love and let out a frustrated sigh. At this rate, I was never going to get laid.

Candy Vargo walked off the porch and approached me. “Well, badass, you’ve really stepped in it this time.” She looked at Pandora. “You’re on probation. I’m your fuckin’ probation officer. I ain’t gonna incarcerate your sorry ass until we solve this catastrophic issue. But, you mess with me, and I will make you wish you were never hatched. You got that?”

“I do,” Pandora said. “Loud and clear.”

“So, umm… what’s the plan?” I asked.

“That,” Candy Vargo said. “Remains to be seen.”

“We’ll be leaving now,” Gideon announced. Daisy, Heather, Tim and Charlie joined hands with the Grim Reaper. “If you need aid, it will be provided… at no cost.”

In a blast of shimmering black mist, the contingency of Immortals from Georgia disappeared. Only Candy Vargo stayed.

The party had just gone to hell in a handbasket. Big Brother, aka the Higher Power, was watching us, and It wanted revenge. I wasn’t sure our lives would ever be the same.