Page 68 of Am I the Only One

“He has me too.”

My lips lift ever so slightly. It’s the mere fact that he would even make a statement like that affects me in a way I can’t explain. “You mean that?”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t,” he says before adding, “What else are you scared of?”

Looking into his sincere eyes, I grab on to a shred of courage and reveal timidly, “You.”

“Me?” His hand slides along my cheek, threading his fingers into my hair. “Why?”

“I’m afraid of losing you.”

As soon as I say it, he pulls me in, resting his forehead against mine. Closing my eyes, I feel my heart as it ricochets in my chest, and I’m terrified I’ve said too much.

“I could never leave you,” he murmurs, and his lips press against mine before I can deny his words.

When Luca kisses me for the first time, it’s terrifying yet comforting. My pulse races in a way that doesn’t beat at all. I want to push him away and pull him closer all at the same time. Happiness and confusion collide, and somewhere within the space separating my heart’s faltering beats, I kiss him back.

He holds me with a strength I didn’t know he had as my hands cling to him, wrapping around his shoulders. I hold on tightly, fearing that, if I let go, I’ll never find my way back.

Luca’s arms constrict around me tighter, his body pressing against me as his tongue caresses mine. My head spirals out of control. Selfishly, I want to take the comfort he’s giving me, but I know all too well how quickly life can change, how in a slip of a second, you can lose everything.

His lips leave mine, taking my breath with them as he drags kisses down my neck. Our bodies begin to move, and I feel myself falling.

But I can’t.

Because this is Luca.

He takes my breast in his hand, squeezing me gently as his lips find mine again, and suddenly, I panic.

I’m too exposed, too vulnerable, too fearful.

“Wait.” I breathe, ripping my lips away from his.

“Are you okay?”

“I-I don’t know if I can do this,” I admit.

“Because you’re afraid?” he says, echoing my earlier words, and I nod bashfully. He takes my face in both of his hands. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

I hesitate because I’m too nervous to say anything.

“It’s just me,” he assures. “Don’t shy away. Tell me what you’re thinking because I need to know.”

There’s something in his voice that tells me he’s just as scared as I am. It’s a vulnerability that reflects my own. So, I give him what I know he needs—honesty. “I’m starting to fall for you.”

Exhaling heavily, he closes his eyes before pressing his head against mine.

“I just ... I’ve never done this before, and I’m scared.”

He nods, completely understanding what I’m saying. We’ve both kept ourselves closed off from relationships, and we are figuring out how to give each other what we’ve been too terrified to give to anyone else.

“I’m scared too,” he admits. “Scared I’m going to fuck this up, but I want you. You’re all I want.”

I run my thumb along his brow, revealing, “You’re all I want too.”

Carly

After talking to Emma about the texts and emails, I’ve been reconsidering everything. With her unwillingness to provide what evidence she has, I’m back at square one and sixty grand in the hole. Agonizing over this whole ordeal, I’ve come to the conclusion that staying in this marriage is going to be much easier than walking away from it. The destruction the Montgomery’s are capable of terrifies me, and without anything to back my allegations, I’m nothing more than a dead man walking.