Page 46 of Am I the Only One

“Can I ask you about something and have you be honest with me?” he eventually asks, breaking the stillness. Before I can answer, he shifts enough to reach his nightstand and picks up a white envelope. “This came in the mail for you yesterday.”

I take it from him and sit up, reading the return address: Valley Crest Home for the Mentally Disabled

“You’re snooping through my mail?” I chastise harshly.

“I didn’t open it. And, no, I’m not snooping. Like I said, it came in the mail,” he says. “Are you going to tell me why that would come for you?”

I cross my legs and drop my head, worried about him being angry with me when he finds out I’ve been lying to him about Matthew. Of all my lies, this is one I can own up to. “It’s about my brother. It’s where he lives.”

His eyes narrow. “What are you talking about?”

Releasing a defeated sigh, I tell him, “My brother isn’t married, and he doesn’t have any kids.”

The confusion and anger and disappointment on his face stings, so I go ahead and come completely clean.

“Matthew is low-functioning autistic. He can’t take care of himself, so when my parents died, he had to go into a facility for the mentally disabled.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why lie?”

I shrug. “Because I’ve always lied about him. It’s just the way it was in our family.”

“I don’t understand.”

“My mother never wanted the judgment of others. She didn’t want people looking down on him for being different. It was her way of protecting us—of protecting him. So, we kept Matthew private so that he’d never have to be under the scrutiny of others or fear bullies. My mom did her best to homeschool him and devoted her life to taking care of him.” Finally, his expression softens. “We never told people that he was autistic or different, so when you asked about my family, I didn’t even think of it as a lie even though it was.”

“So, what were you doing these past few days?”

“The same thing I do every time I visit him. I check him out of the facility and we go to a hotel.”

“Were you in a hotel for Christmas?”

I nod.

“Jesus, Emma.” He pushes out a deep breath. “I wish I would’ve known.”

“Why?”

“Because I would’ve made sure the two of you weren’t all alone in a hotel. I would’ve had you two come with me to my parents’. They would never judge your brother, I can promise you that.”

Another tear finds its way down my cheek, and Luca wipes it away before I can.

“It isn’t as easy as you make it sound.”

“It is. The truth is, you don’t want people judging you or your brother, but you’re the one judging everyone else around you, assuming the worst in them.” He takes the envelope and sets it aside and then holds my hands in his. “It’s me, Emma. And I’m telling you that you’d have a fucking hard time finding anyone else on this planet who loves you as much as I do.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It’s really hard for me, you know? I don’t trust that easily.”

“I know,” he soothes. “And that’s fine when it comes to other people but not with me, okay?”

I nod, and this time, when he pulls me into his arms, I feel safe enough to let out a couple more tears before stifling them and eventually falling asleep.

Emma

When I open my eyes again, Luca is already up, sitting next to me in bed and watching television.

“Finally,” he says when he looks down at me with a smirk. “I was about to check your pulse.”

I roll my eyes as I shift to sit up next to him. “How long have you been awake?”