Page 67 of Am I the Only One

I shake my head.

“Are you okay?”

“I have a really bad headache,” I tell him.

“I think I have some medicine in my bag.”

He goes into the room he was sharing with Matthew, and I head to my own. Kicking off my shoes, I crawl into bed and close my eyes, wishing this day into extinction. Like ripping a scab off an old wound, everything from a year ago comes crashing back with a compounded force I wasn’t ready for.

“Hey.”

Opening my sore eyes, I sit up and take the pills from Luca’s hand, along with the bottle of water he’s holding out for me. He waits while I swallow the medicine, and when I hand the water back to him, he turns off the lamp and heads out.

I stop him when he reaches the door. “Luca?”

He turns around.

“Will you stay?”

Without a word, he walks through the darkened room, kicking off his shoes and shrugging out of his shirt before he slips into bed with me. I go to him freely, resting my head on the pillow next to him as his arms come around me.

Staring into each other’s eyes, there’s a peace within the pain. Words dance along my tongue, words I’ll never speak.

Help me.

Save me.

Don’t ever leave me.

Words of desperation and fear. A hundred pleas. All of them dying in my mouth.

His hand comes to my face, brushing along my forehead as he pushes a few strands of my hair aside, and when a tear falls, he catches it.

“It’s going to be okay.You’regoing to be okay.”

Those words are exactly what I’ve been longing to hear. For someone—anyone—to scoop me up and assure me that I’m going to be all right. That this world won’t destroy me. That I’m not alone.

“I’m scared.” The words slip out on a whisper.

“Of what?”

“Everything.”

“Tell me.”

With a slow blink, I confess, “Of not knowing how to help my brother and the responsibility of looking after him. I’m scared of failing him.”

“I wish I would’ve known about him and what you’ve been dealing with. I can’t imagine how hard this has been on you.”

“I didn’t mean to lie—”

“I know,” he assures. “But you’re doing everything you can for him.”

“What if it isn’t enough?”

“You can’t do this to yourself. Your brother is lucky to have you, and I don’t doubt that you’re doing everything possible to take care of him.”

“I’m all he has.”