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CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

JADE

We just got back from dinner and said goodbye to Karen because she has to work tomorrow. Then Chloe left because she’s behind on studying after spending so much time here the past couple days.

Frank and Ryan are lucky to have those two in their lives. I feel like I don’t have to worry about Frank as much with Karen around. She really does take good care of him. And I’ve always liked Chloe. Last year, she used to make Frank go on dates with her and Ryan just to get Frank out of the house. She didn’t want him to be lonely. She treats Frank like a dad, which he would be if Ryan would just marry her.

Now the four of us are watching a movie on TV. The fire’s going and I’m lounging on Frank’s new couch. It’s so comfy I could fall asleep on it. I wish Garret and I could stay longer. The time went so fast. I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow.

“Jade, get over here.” Ryan’s standing by the back window.

I go over to see what he’s looking at. “It’s snowing! Let’s go out there.”

“No way I’m going out there,” Ryan says. “It’s too cold.”

“I’ll go with her.” Garret grabs our coats from the closet. “Who’s the pretty boy now? Can’t take the cold, Ryan?” He smirks at him as he gives me my coat.

“Just wait,” Ryan says. “Once you feel that wind, you’ll be back here in a few minutes.”

“Boys,” Frank calls out from his chair. “Be nice.”

He’s just kidding. Frank loves his dad role. Now with Garret, he’s got three kids to scold.

Garret and I go out to the back yard. The ground is already covered with a couple inches of snow and giant flakes are dropping from the sky. I tilt my face up and watch them fall.

“Hey.” Garret circles his arms around my waist.

I take my eyes off the snow and look at him. “Yeah?”

“You were amazing today.”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to keep saying that.”

“I need to, because you need to hear it. What you did up there was amazing. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“It felt amazing.”

He smiles. “Tell me why.”

“It just felt good to be up there and look out at the faces of people just like me and have them understand me and what I’ve been through. I’ve never had that. I used to think I was the only one stuck in the darkness, unable to get out. I mean, when I got older I knew there must be other people who felt that way but I’d never met them. And today I did. I didn’t know those women in the audience, but when I looked at them, I could tell they felt just like I used to feel. So maybe something I said today will help them stop feeling that way. Maybe it will help them get to the light.”

“It will, Jade. You had that whole room focused on your every word.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I sat in the back and watched it. And then they asked you to go back in there. That shows how much of an effect you had on them.” Garret wipes the wet snowflakes off my cheeks. “Jade, I think you should give more speeches like you did today.”

“I told that lady I’d do that conference in March.”

“I mean more than just that conference. I think you should consider making this your career.”

“That’s not a career. It’s just a thing I might do on the side.”

“It is a career. You can get paid for giving speeches. A lot of people do. And if you don’t want to get paid, you can donate your speaking fee to charity.”

“But it’s not really work. I actually liked doing it.”

Garret laughs. “Jade, do you hear yourself?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“This whole semester you’ve been trying to figure out what to do for a career. And I told you to find something you like doing. Something you had a passion for. This is it, Jade. What you did today is what you should do for a career.”

I take a moment to think about that. Could I really be a speaker? Could I go around telling my story to other people? If I did, I’d be helping people, which is what I want to do. And once I got past the nerves, I did like what I was doing today. It gave me energy. I could feel the energy from the audience. They actually listened to me. They wanted to hear what I had to say. And when that lady asked me to speak in March, I was excited about it.

“I think that might be a good idea.” I peer up at the snow again. “But I still don’t know what to do for a major.”

“What about psychology?” Garret says it like he’s already thought about this. “You like your psych class. You tell me about it all the time. And you liked the psych class you took at Moorhurst.”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with giving speeches?”

“You’ll be speaking to people who are struggling with a lot of different issues. Ones that aren’t the same as you had growing up. If you major in psych, you’ll learn about all those different issues. You’ll understand people better. And maybe you won’t just give speeches. Maybe you’ll work with smaller groups. Do workshops. Group counseling. I don’t know. I’m just throwing out ideas here.”

I’m getting even more excited because I like everything he just said. I would love to take more psych classes. I never even considered majoring in it, but what he said makes sense. A psychology degree might be the perfect fit for me and would be a good degree to have if I decide to help people like those women I met today.

“I need to think about this some more, but you might be on to something here.”

“Don’t overthink it, Jade. Just go with what feels right. And if what you did today feels right, then don’t question it. Same with your major. Go with your gut, not your head. Always works for me.”

I close my eyes and listen to the snow. People think it doesn’t make a sound, but if you listen, you can hear it crackling as it hits the trees.

“When did you get out of the darkness, Jade?”

My eyes flip open and I see Garret looking at me.

“Like when did you get completely out so that it was all light?”

I smile at him. “When I met you. When I got to know you and you made me feel like I mattered. Like I was worth fighting for even when I pushed you away. When you agreed to be my friend and didn’t force me to be more than that. Like I said today, I always had choices and those choices helped me get into the light so I could have a future and be able to support myself. But I was still lonely and afraid to get close to people. I still had darkness until I met you.”

He hugs me into his chest. “See? Another good speech. You just keep getting better and better with these.”

“And I didn’t plan that one either. I guess I should just wing it from here on out.”

A strong gust of wind blows, swirling the snow around our heads.

“Guess that’s the wind Ryan was talking about. You want to go inside?”

I lift my head up. “Can I have a kiss first? I love kissing you in the snow.”

“You can have as many as you’d like.” He cups his hands around my face and presses his warm lips to mine. It reminds me of when we kissed in the snow on our first date. I still get that same fluttery feeling I felt when he kissed me that night just over a year ago.

The wind blows again and I shiver. Garret breaks from the kiss. “You want to go inside now?”

“Yeah, the wind’s too cold.” I huddle next to him as we walk toward the house.

Ryan opens the door. “Jade, you might want to call Harper. She’s called twice since you came out here. I didn’t answer it but I saw her name on the screen.”

“Really? I hope she’s okay.” I race inside to the table to get my phone. “I’ll call her from the bedroom.”

Garret follows me in there. “I’m guessing it’s about Sean. You want me to listen in?”

“Yeah, because you’ll probably have to call Sean when I’m done with Harper.”

I call her and she answers right away. “Jade, I’m sorry to bother you when you’re with your family. Can you talk?”

“Yeah, of course. How are you feeling? Did the surgery go okay?”

“Yeah, it was fine. That’s not why I’m calling.” Her voice is shaky and it sounds like she’s crying.

I look at Garret. “Harper, is this about Sean?”

“He came to the hospital. I told him not to. I knew he didn’t have the money for a plane ticket, but he came anyway.” She sniffles. “But my parents wouldn’t let him see me. They told the hospital staff to keep him away. Now I don’t know where he is. I’ve called him a million times. Texted him. I’m worried about him, Jade. He always answers his phone. What if something happened to him?” She sniffles again. “I talked to one of the nurses and asked her if Sean told her where he was staying. She said he didn’t tell her, but that she thinks she saw him sleeping in the park last night.” Harper’s crying even more now.

Garret’s shaking his head, annoyed with Sean for not taking the money we offered him for a hotel room.

“Harper, don’t worry. Garret will call Sean and we’ll figure out what’s going on.”

“Can Garret call him right now? I have to know if Sean’s okay.”

“Yes, he’ll call him right now.”

“Thanks, Jade. And you’ll call me back, right?”

“Yes. Bye, Harper.”

We hang up and Garret’s already got his phone out. He calls Sean, putting the phone on speaker. It rings and rings but Sean finally answers.

“Hey, Garret.”

“Sean, where the hell are you?”

“I’m at my apartment.”

“I thought you weren’t flying back until Sunday.”

“Plans changed. I came back early.”

Sean sounds strange. He’s talking slow and his words are kind of drawn out.

“Jade just talked to Harper.”

“So you know what happened.”

“Yeah, but you need to call her back. She’s freaking out because you’re not answering her calls or her texts.”

“Why would I answer her? We’re not dating anymore.”

“What the hell’s going on with you? Why are you acting like this?”

“Because it’s over.” He slurs the last word. Garret noticed it, too. “And I need to accept that and move on.”

“Have you been drinking, Sean?”

“It’s Saturday night. That’s what people do.”

“You sound drunk.”

“Whatever. Maybe I am.”

“Just call Harper and tell her you’re okay.”

“Have Jade call her. I’m done talking to Harper.”

“Jade shouldn’t have to get in the middle of this and neither should I. You need to call Harper yourself.”

“Can’t do it. Sorry.”

Garret sighs. “Fine. Jade will call her, but we’re not doing this again.”

“You won’t have to. I told you, Harper and I are done. It’s over.” He slurs his words even more.

“Sean, put the damn bottle down. It’s not going to help. And hey, what the fuck were you doing sleeping on a park bench in LA? You could’ve been killed.”

“Who told you?”

“Harper said a nurse saw you sleeping there.”

“Must’ve been Deloris. She’s a nice lady. She was the only one at the hospital who didn’t treat me like shit.”

“Sean, we’ve gotta go. Stop drinking and get some sleep. I’ll call you later.” Garret hangs up. “He’s too out of it to talk. I’ll call him tomorrow when we get back.”

I call Harper again. She answers on the first ring. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yes, and he’s fine. He’s back in Connecticut.”

“Why didn’t he answer my calls?”

I don’t mean to be harsh, but there’s really no nice way to say it. “You broke up with him, Harper. He’s not going to answer your calls.”

“I just thought maybe we could—”

“You can’t be friends with him. It won’t work.”

“Did he say that?”

“No, but you know you can’t.”

“I miss him, Jade. I miss him so much.” She’s crying again. “I just want to talk to him. I just—” She doesn’t finish.

“I’m sorry, Harper.”

“I have to go.” She’s sobbing now.

“Harper, wait.” I check the phone. “She hung up,” I say to Garret.

He’s in a daze, staring at the wall behind me.

“Garret, what’s wrong?”

“They got to him.”

“Who? What are you talking about?”

“They got to Sean. That’s why he’s acting like he doesn’t give a shit. That’s why he came home early.”

“Who got to him? Harper’s parents?”

“No. The organization.”

“What do you mean they got to him?”

“They threatened him, or they threatened to hurt his family if he doesn’t stay away from Harper.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. There’s no other reason he’d suddenly act that way. He wouldn’t even call Harper back after she left him all those messages. You know that’s not Sean. The Sean we know would’ve called her back right away. He wouldn’t let her worry like that. He cares about her way too much. That’s why he’s drinking. He can’t handle hurting her like this, but he had no choice. They threatened him.” Garret holds my arms and looks me in the eye. “This is serious, Jade. I mean it when I say to stay out of this. If Harper wants to talk about Sean, just change the subject. Don’t even mention his name.”

“Doing that will just cause her to ask more questions.”

“I don’t care. She’ll have to get answers from someone else. She’s not getting them from us.”

Once again, the organization is interfering with our lives. But this time, they’re going after our two closest friends.