Page 56 of All Your Deadly Truths (The Filthy Duet #2)

Xeraphine

A fter Kairhyse left, Kayn and I stepped out the back of the cabin.

Over the past week, I’ve come up here to escape—to put some distance between myself and everyone else.

The narrow trail winds over a wooden bridge spanning a quiet creek, eventually opening into a space roughly half the size of a basketball court.

The towering oaks sway with the steady breeze rolling down from the mountain peaks, carrying with it a crisp, clean scent. Even in my current state, where I’d much rather be breathing in the blood of those who’ve hurt me, Kai, and Sydni, this comes in at a close second.

As much of a bitch as I’ve been this week, I’m not actually mad at Sydni.

All I’ve ever wanted was to protect her, to see her happy.

She deserves that, because I never got it.

It’s why I’m so hard on the people she dates, the ones she lets in.

And now, with how obvious it is that she’s falling for that Werewolf, my overprotectiveness has only sharpened.

I hate that she sees it as me being cruel. But I… I love her and I can’t stand to see her hurt like I was. Even if I hurt her in the process of teaching her who to trust, she will understand I’ll always be here through thick and thin. I failed her once and refuse to let it happen again.

“Kairhyse never took me here.” Kayn drags me from my head, his crimson eyes up, looking through the canopy of trees. “Said he wanted to separate his past from his present.”

We stop in the center of the clearing, the uneven grass brushing against my bare calves.

“Do you want to do proper introductions?” He moves to look at me, before plopping down into a seated position, one leg up, arm draping over it. “Or just get to it. ”

Normally, I’d want the latter, but I know I’ll learn more about Kairhyse if we do the former.

“How do you know Kai?” I know that really isn’t what he meant, but he smiles and graciously answers.

“I met him through his creator, and my friend was her creator.”

I hum. Kairhyse shared a few more things about his life over the past few weeks, how he was turned into one of them. I’d have added that bitch to the list of those I was going to kill if she weren’t already ash.

“So, you knew him pretty young in his Vampire life.”

He nods. “After he killed Elizabeth, he asked for help with figuring out how to navigate life as an immortal. Liz pretty much kept him on a leash, afraid he’d run.”

My nose twitches. “Cunt.”

“Truly. I helped him, but it didn’t take more than a few years to get the hang of it. He was meant to live forever; not everyone can do it. Most end their life after a hundred years, give or take.”

That comment lingers in my mind as I lower myself to the ground, crossing my legs and settling in. I haven’t met many older Vampires—Molly had been the oldest, with Kai just behind her.

“How old are you?”

He chuckles before answering, “I’m an old man. Nearly eleven hundred years.”

My eyes round. “Holy shit.” Another body… Another shield.

“How did you meet him?” he asks, dropping his head slightly to one side. “He’s claimed you, that is not something I’ve ever seen a Succubae or Incubi allow.” There is some sort of longing in his tone, possibly jealousy? It’s subtle, but it’s that slight tinge of it at the end of his sentence.

“He was trying to ‘capture’ me and bring me to Hause Sidence for ‘justice’. I’m a murderer.” My nonchalant tone seems to please him, he chuckles.

His red eyes hold mine, and I hear Kai’s words from just before he left. “He knows he’s pretty, don’t stroke his ego.” His statement is absolutely correct, Kayn is… quite attractive. With how strong he looks, muscular build with tattoos from his hands to his neck, he seeks the pain and embraces it.

His deep-set eyes, red like my monsters, are intense beneath thick, well-defined brows. His face is strikingly proportionate, framed by a full, well-groomed beard. A strong jawline and warm skin tone complete his very appealing features. I’d have ridden him without needing anything from him.

That, of course, was before meeting Kai. I wonder if, in time, that feeling will fade. But even the thought of willingly giving myself to someone else makes my stomach twist, so I don’t think so.

“Looks like you captured him,” he jests. There is a lingering word on his tongue, like he wants to continue, so I don’t say anything. “Tell me about yourself, and then I’ll tell you why Kai asked me specifically to help you.”

My insatiable need to know why keeps my dominant nature from getting pissed at his demand. “I’m a Hybrid; half Succubus, half Mundane. My mother is the Demon. Her name is Tali. Ever heard of her?”

He shakes his head.

“Lucky you… I’m thirty, have a cat, and like tomato juice.”

When he smiles, damn , I see why my monster would worry. I’d never touch Kayn, but I can easily appreciate beauty. He isn’t pissing me off either, which is also foreign. Most men do without even saying a word. Even Kairhyse pissed me off when I first met him.

Strange…

“Have you met your Mark?” he asks.

The understanding that Kai would never bring someone here to me without knowing we could trust him, has me answering honestly. “Yes.”

“And that is…”

I nod, knowing exactly who he’s alluding to.

“Dangerous. It’s a good thing you aren’t a hundred.

Your body hasn’t…” He must see the shift in my demeanor, because his words trail off.

“Oh.” He looks down at my stomach and I wrap my arms around me as if hiding my shame.

“Hybrid, Mundane. I suppose that would make sense. I’d assume I’d see a little monster running around, or you’re still pregnant? ”

“I lost it, thank fuck. I’d be a terrible mother.”

He huffs. “Most of your kind aren’t really the parent type.” Not entirely sure, but him saying that, does irk me. “Most, not all.” He throws his hands up in defense. “Sorry to hear that. Did the rupture occur?”

I shake my head. “Unfortunately not… I can still breed.”

A soft hum rolls from his lips, his eyes wandering away from mine briefly. “Mundane blood.”

“How do you know any of this? Does Kai know you’re so well versed?” I find it odd that Kayn wouldn’t have been brought to me sooner. Well, maybe not. I never wanted to know about my kind prior to my mother kidnapping me.

He shakes his head and brings his attention back to me. “He doesn’t know the extent of my knowledge. He knew my ex-partner was one of your kind, but that’s about it.”

My expression shifts to shock. “You… dated a Succubus?”

A sheepish grin overtakes him, his head tilting slightly down. “Incubus, Xera.”

Instant heat floods my face. I’m such a fucking asshole . I should know better than to assume anything.

It doesn’t seem to bother him as he waves his hand, brushing it off like it’s nothing. “No harm done, I enjoy it all. You don’t live as long as I have and miss out on the pleasure of everything that has two legs.”

I can’t believe myself, but I laugh. “Agreed, though Kai doesn’t feel that way.”

He rolls his eyes. “No, but he’s got enough of his own cocks to not need to share. He doesn’t know what he’s missing, though.” I truthfully could never see another man in our bed. My monster is so possessive, he’d tear out someone’s heart the moment they touched a single toe of mine.

And personally, I love that. He gives me everything I need, and I don’t need any more than him.

“So, because of your relationship with an Incubus, you are here.”

He nods. “Kai knew I dated one for some time?—”

“Where is he now?” I hate that immediately I hope we can find him. To see if my blood in his system would work.

“Gone. One day he just up and disappeared.”

There are moments in time where I feel bad that I can’t sympathize with people.

Sydni would likely be tearing up, trying to give him a hug and comfort him.

Me… I feel nothing. It doesn’t even strike a chord with me that it would be a possibility of Kai walking out on me and never coming back.

Even if the thoughts of him being gone from my life have plagued me nonstop for weeks, I don’t feel for Kayn.

Only myself. I only ache for myself.

“I see,” is all I say. “Were you… his Mark?”

“No. He already met his Mark well before meeting me. She died. Mundane.”

“How old was… Luce? Your ex-partner.”

He sucks air through his teeth. “His name is Lucifer, and that’s up in the air. Thousands of years old, I imagine. He” —when he pauses, looking at me as if wondering if I’m prepared to hear what he has to say, I hold my breath instinctively— “is the direct son of Belial and Proserpina.”

Theres no stopping my laugh. “Yeah, okay.” That is a load of bullshit. Why do I think that? Because there’s just no plausible way. Right?

“That was what he said,” Kayn says through a nervous groan, his leg dropping for him to lean forward. “I had no reason to not believe him. You know, free-spirited and all that shit. ”

Must be nice .

I’d give anything to stop searching for the lies in people’s words.

Ever since Tali tried to kill me at fourteen, I’ve started getting sensations that told me when someone wasn’t being truthful.

Whether it was the excuses for why I couldn’t have something, or the empty reassurances of love, I could feel the lies…

always . Though, it hadn’t completely manifested until my Amoro awakened.

I watched my foster parents’ love for me fade, even as they told me every day that it hadn’t. But I knew better because I could see it.

It wasn’t just them either: Boyfriends, girlfriends, friends. They all lied to me.

Not until Sydni, and then Kairhyse, did I feel the ability to trust even the slightest.

“He taught me a few things about his Vigoro. It would?—”

“What… the fuck is a Vigoro?”

The smile he offers me is gentle, and slightly sympathetic, which I detest. “It’s an Incubi’s demon. Succubae have an Amoro, whereas they have a Vigoro.”

“Is there a difference?” Now, I am intrigued. I was curious before, slightly skeptical, however, there is no aura or scent of deceit. He’s telling me the truth, and with no sense of hesitation… he believes what he is telling me is all facts.

“An Amoro is drawn to love, nurturing, and emotional attachment. It’s why you have a pheromone that can draw others to you for those things.”

I give him an incredulous look, because there is no way he is talking about me .

“Don’t believe me?”

“I’m disgusted, whether I believe that or not is inconsequential. You aren’t lying, but maybe mine is different because I’m part Mundane.”

He shakes his head. “If anything, it should be stronger.”

Shifting, I bring my knees up to my chest, boxing myself in. I’m uncomfortable and I don’t like it. “Then a Vigoro, what of that?”

“They are drawn to strength, vitality, and…” He chuckles. “Acceptance.”

I drop my head to the side, one eyebrow up, mouth slightly ajar. “Acceptance…” I repeat slowly.

“Yeah, so basically, if an Incubus is rejected, it can drain them. It makes them irrational, violent, or emotionally charged to?—”

“Become any insecure male.”

“Exactly. Amoro have something similar, but it’s less abrasive. They have to lose their attachment to really feel that sort of descent into darkness.”

“Interesting…” I feel like I don’t know my Amoro very well, but I’ve never seen it as something that was a separate entity to me. I’ve only thought of it as an extension of me, my other half. Except, the way that he describes it, it feels like it’s an actual thing.

Then again, it did shield me those days until mentally I snapped, but even still…

“What do you know of them beyond what they yearn for?”

“Lucifer would often talk with his Vigoro.” I don’t hide my confusion. Talk to it? “Sort of like meditation—prayer? He would sit in front of a fire for hours and just disappear into his head.”

I shift my gaze downward, looking at the grass that drags across my white knee that is slightly pink from the constant friction.

It protected me… She protected me?

“Did he ever tell you how he did it?”

After he releases a soft sigh, he says, “No. It held no significance to me, so I never asked.”

“Do you think…” I can’t imagine he’d know this answer, but at this point I’m desperate. “It’s because I’m a Hybrid that I can’t use my Amoro to its fullest potential, or something else?”

“Hmm…” This is the first time he drags his gaze away from mine since we got deep into our conversation.

His hand comes up to rub against his full beard, before dragging up through his hair, tugging the bun out in the process.

“It shouldn’t be because you are Hybrid, if anything that should make you more powerful than a full bred. ”

“Why? Answer that before you give me your theory as to why I’m incapable of doing so.”

“So much like him, I swear…” he hums. “Mundane have the shortest lifespan of any mortal being. They love, work, and survive the hardest, though. You have a Mundane’s lifeforce, partial if not more. Meaning that for your eternal life, you’ll fight, survive, and love like them.”

“I definitely do two of them…” I don’t love that well.

His leg comes up, elbow resting against his knee while he leans into his palm. He passes me a look, one I’ve seen Kai give me so many times. It’s one of longing, desire, and care. I don’t feel a sexual attraction coming from Kayn, though, and if I had to guess, I’m reminding him of Lucifer.

“My theory,” he continues, moving away from the topic of love . “Is that you just haven’t connected well enough with your Amoro. Since I’m unsure of how you truly bond with her, let’s work on your manipulation. That was what Kai wanted me to help you with.”

I straighten my back and nod. There are still so many more questions I have, but I want to get as much value out of my time with him here as possible. He doesn’t know any of my trauma, doesn’t know how I tick, which means he won’t send me backwards.

I’ve been working so hard to open my gates to those beyond Kairhyse and Sydni.

Brice reminded me that people will use anything to see results, even if it will tear me apart. I don’t want to use my trauma as a means to light my flame. It isn’t a crutch, it’s a wound I want to patch and mend.

I don’t want to lean on it…

I shouldn’t have to use it to be strong.

I’m not powerful because of it… It made me the way I am because it was forced on me.

That isn’t my catalyst, my resilience is. And as I have every day of my life, I’ll be my own fucking match to light my fire.

“Let’s start,” I say with a decisive nod. “And, Kayn?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t give me any look of sympathy. Don’t coddle me, or I’ll take your fucking head off after I’ve got what I need.”