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Chapter Forty-Five

Aurelia

T he joy of Raul’s return buoys me through my maids’ fussing over my hair and dress. When I reach the dining room for breakfast, the sight of Axius brings all my other concerns rushing to the front of my mind.

I murmur a quick word to a page to ensure the high commander is sitting next to me at the main table. The grizzled man moves to join me with an evaluating gaze. He must be able to guess I made the request because I need to talk to him.

I wait until the servers have laid out our first course of delicate pastries topped with frothed eggs. “That specially trained squad we discussed sending on a mission. Did you end up dispatching them without us discussing it?”

An expression even more somber than usual shadows Axius’s face.

“No. The last couple of them I was able to reach arrived just as the pox struck. Several of them fell ill… The wo man who acted as captain of the squad in the past was hit particularly hard and passed away before you’d created your cure.

The others will still be willing to serve—I should have raised the matter sooner. ”

“We’ve all had a lot on our minds in the past few days.” My stomach knots at the thought of one more skilled ally cut down in Sabrelle’s campaign, simply because she was willing to help me.

Everyone I turn to, I’m only drawing into deeper danger.

But how much danger will they face under Valerisse and whoever she’ll set on the throne if I give up?

Despite the melancholy news, Axius’s answer does kindle a little reason for hope. Raul said he saw omens from various other godlen appearing to the enemy soldiers, trying to divert them. If those weren’t illusions conjured by our side, then they must have come from the godlen themselves.

Have I proven myself to enough of the gods for them to overcome the warmonger in their midst? From what Raul described, even Jurnus is supporting me, despite my failure to distribute the enchanted mirrors.

But Valerisse’s forces are still marching on us. What will it take to actually stop her?

“Let me think on how to best use them, and we’ll incorporate that into our strategy discussion today,” I tell Axius, and bite into the crisp pastry. Even if my stomach is rebelling, I need to keep my strength.

My gaze drifts across the room and comes to rest on the end of the table where my princes are currently seated. Raul has just walked over, scrubbed clean thanks to my own efforts and dressed for court rather than stealthy travels.

All three of his foster brothers spring up at the sight of him.

Lorenzo catches Raul in a quick but emphatic embrace, Bastien claps him on the shoulder with the widest grin I’ve ever seen from the prince of Cotea, and Neven’s face lights with eagerness, bringing back the puppyish impression the youngest prince has mostly shed over the past year.

As I watch them, affection wells up around my heart. We are a family, in so many more ways than just our romantic entanglements.

Just as I’m about to drag my gaze away before anyone finds my intent interest suspicious, a glow flares around my lovers.

I freeze in place, but no one around me reacts to the pinkish sheen hazing the three princes’ silhouettes. Even Axius takes in my stiffened posture, glances over, and then looks back at me with obvious confusion.

Am I the only one who can see it?

Then it’s an omen meant just for me.

The rosy glow thickens, streaming around my three lovers like the ribbons we used in our marriage ceremony. More light unfurls here and there in the shape of actual roses.

Then the imagery fades away, leaving an ache in my throat and a stutter in my pulse.

An omen like that could only have been sent by Ardone, the godlen of love. Her color, her symbols.

I haven’t made an appeal to her yet. Is she inviting me to?

It hadn’t seemed as though the assistance of a godlen mainly focused on beauty and desire would be all that useful in a war, so I hadn’t given her much thought—but I did commit to courting all of their favor.

We’re going to need an awful lot of love of one sort or another between the citizens of this continent if we’re going to end this war without thousands of soldiers slaughtered. If we’re to have any hope of going forward after in cooperation with the other royal families.

The other royal families those princes represent.

The idea comes to me, as clear as the divine light the godlen cast over my lovers, without any need to draw on my gift. What better way could there be to honor all Ardone stands for in this world?

Picturing the possibilities, a joyful flutter passes through my chest, but a quiver of nerves chases after it. To make such a statement, to declare so publicly…

But that’s what will show Ardone how committed I am to the love I’ve found. My small confession about Marc in front of the court was hardly a gesture on the same level as the traveling palaces being erected nearby or the canals filled in across Cotea.

It’s a message I want everyone to hear, even if I hadn’t been sure I was ever going to risk speaking it.

My throat has totally choked up. I manage to force down enough of the breakfast not to provoke any concerned remarks from my neighbors, but my pulse is thrumming with anxious anticipation.

I know this approach is right. I know I can present my new commitments the right way.

And if I fail… then maybe I wasn’t up to the task of saving the empire anyway.

I go straight from the dining hall to seek out Pierus. The imperial cleric has connections to all the temples in and around Vivencia.

He brightens at my approach as if looking forward to whatever new quest I might set him on. I’m not sure he’ll appreciate my purpose all that much once he’s seen where it leads… but I’m not getting into that part yet.

“What can I do for you today, Your Imperial Highness?” he asks.

I set my hand against my godlen mark. “I wish to make a statement in Ardone’s honor in the main city square as soon as possible.

The palace staff can pass word through the city—can you ensure as many clerics and devouts of Ardone as can leave off their duties will gather there to witness and support it? ”

Curiosity flickers in the cleric’s pale eyes. “Certainly. Do you think you’d be ready by the twelfth bell?”

I nod again. “Yes, that will do nicely.”

It’ll give me a few hours to pull the arrangements together—but not so much time I might lose my nerve.

As I ascend the stone steps at one end of the vast city square where I presented myself before at two emperors’ funerals, Marc dares to lean close to me with a murmur. “Are you sure about this?”

Knowing all he does, he must be able to guess what I’m planning. His tone sounds only concerned, not upset.

I can’t blame him for being worried about the consequences when I am too. But the godlen reward boldness on their behalf.

Perhaps I’ve held back for too long already.

I shoot him a quick smile. “It’s time.”

If not now, I may not ever get another chance. And making my love real before as much of the world as can witness it suddenly feels more important than I can say.

If Valerisse cuts me down, let it at least be with my people knowing who I was.

The court nobles who joined us scatter the steps around me. I signaled Lorenzo before we left, and he sidles over with Bastien and Raul nearby. A matching concern to Marc’s is etched in his rich brown face, but when our eyes meet, I catch a giddy glimmer there too.

Two clerics in pink robes—including Pomia, who married me to Marclinus—and several devouts from their temples stand poised along the lower steps.

Beyond the line of guards at the base, a swarm of at least a couple thousand citizens watches.

A babble that’s a mix of excitement and apprehension warbles through the air.

Banners of pink silk hastily grabbed from the palace storerooms sway in the warm breeze around the steps. A sweet floral scent wafts from the rose bushes set along the edges of our stage and farther out amid the crowd.

Palace staff are handing out drinks of the rose-laced juice usually brought out for Ardonalia, the official festival of the godlen of love, and the palace musicians wait off to the side ready to take up their instruments.

Whatever my people make of my announcement, I want to treat it as a celebration, not a confession.

I raise my hand, and the crowd falls silent. With deliberate emphasis, I tap my fingers to forehead, heart, and gut before squeezing my hand against the godlen mark on my sternum.

Ardone, if you’re watching over me now, may you let all the families this declaration concerns see what comes to pass, by whatever method suits you. Let my love be known far and wide.

I get no sense of whether the godlen agrees, but I didn’t expect to. The calm I’ve cultivated inside me holds me steady.

“Devoted people of Dariu,” I call out. “We’ve faced much to fear in recent months, and our greatest challenge is soon ahead of us. There’s been increasing talk of war and combat. But before I face that challenge head on, I wanted us all to remember what matters most: love and compassion.”

I motion to the clerics and devouts. “Those who’ve dedicated their lives to our treasured godlen of love are here to sanctify the words I say to you today.

I’ve spent time in fear myself, uncertain of whether I should be open about what’s in my heart.

No more. What’s most important is you knowing how much I care and how much that caring can be a strength. ”

Another devout moves into view near the bottom of the steps—one dressed in the simple white tunic and trousers of those dedicated to Elox. I think I recognize him as one of the senior medics from the palace. No doubt some of his colleagues have come to witness my proclamation as well.

I return my hand to my chest. “I can’t express how much love I still hold for my husband.

” At least, the half of him who proved worthy of my affection in the end.

“But Ardone blessed me with a heart that can encompass so much more devotion, within Dariu’s borders and beyond.

In recent weeks, I’ve found happiness and dedication with the guard who’s protected me from so many threats and with three of our visiting princes from the outer territories. ”

As a startled muttering passes through the crowd, I beckon my three princes right over to me. I squeeze Lorenzo’s hand, then Bastien’s, then Raul’s for all those watching to see.

My mouth has gone dry, but my voice remains steady.

“Prince Lorenzo of Rione, Prince Bastien of Cotea, and Prince Raul of Lavira have sworn to stand by me and Dariu through all that lies ahead for the empire, and I will stand with them as well. The fondness we share reflects how well all the countries of the empire can come together and tackle whatever problems we may face. Before Ardone, I declare that my heart belongs to them alongside my late husband. We will bring the empire to a brighter future together!”

The murmurs rise, but to my relief, Cleric Pomia steps forward with what might be a glimmer of tears shining in her eyes. She smiles so brightly the worst of my anxiety melts away.

She turns toward the crowd with a swirl of her pink robes. “I have seen the divine touch on the empress! Ardone honors this love as Her Imperial Highness honors our godlen by announcing it. How lucky are we to have a ruler with such a capacity for devotion! ”

I don’t know what holy indication she saw, but her approval sets my spirits soaring.

As the uneasy sounds falter, I lift my voice higher to get to the rest of my declaration.

“There are all sorts of love, are there not? I love all of you and my court as well, as every ruler should love the people they serve, wishing that you might live only the most joyful of lives. I will not drag you into violence on my behalf, unlike those who try to threaten the rightful imperial ascension.”

I point toward the distant city gates. “In two days’ time, the princes and I will join our army marching well beyond Vivencia’s walls, to meet the traitors before they can wreak any havoc here.

Any of you who wish to lend your support will have my immense gratitude, but I won’t ask it of you.

It’s my job to protect your lives here and those of all Darium citizens across the empire.

I will fight for you fiercely, with all my heart, to defend all you love too. ”

As my last words ring out through the air, the tension in the crowd shifts. Several cheers rise up with an initial smattering of applause. More and more whoops and shouts of appreciation carry across the square.

In that moment, with so many hands and voices raised in support, I can almost believe we’re ready to bowl over Valerisse and her invaders right now.

Then the medic I noticed barges in front of me, his mouth twisting.

He jabs his forefinger toward me. “No! No more of this. Your reign must end here!”