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Chapter Forty-Three

Aurelia

W hen the ninth bell peals outside, the jitters in my gut haven’t resolved. I step onto the dais at the front of the audience room and come to a stop before the imperial thrones, deciding it’s better to be on my feet before the assembled court so they can see me standing tall.

As the clusters of nobles turn toward me, they fall silent.

No one has commented to me directly on my dalliance with Marc, but I notice several gazes slipping past me to study my current array of guards.

He stands among the others with the implacable air that served him well as emperor, not a hint of concern showing.

Other nobles study me more intently. Lips curl with derision; chins lift haughtily. Their judgment wafts over me like the fumes from a refuse heap.

The last thing I need right now is them questioning my own judgment. Wondering whether I’ll be distracted from the crisis we’re facing by the attentions of a man they consider far below me, without the slightest clue he’s my husband—and was once their emperor.

As much as I’d like to keep my intimate activities private, they’ve been wrenched into the public sphere. I’m going to have to address them.

As a ruler should, I start with the most pressing matter.

“Some of you may already have heard that the treasonous tribune who’s rallied soldiers against me and our imperial heir has begun marching her army through Dariu.

We’ve always known the conflict could come to this point and have been preparing our own forces for weeks.

If I have my way, it’ll be resolved as swiftly and bloodlessly as possible. ”

“Not much chance of that now,” someone farther off in the room mutters, just loud enough for me to hear. The rest of the court stirs restlessly.

“We always have options,” I say. “I’ve made no secret how important it is to me to see our realms at peace, both for the sake of all the people within it and to honor the godlen who’s guided me so well.”

Another voice rises from the other side of the room. “And what about what Sabrelle wants?”

I firm my stance. “Sabrelle is not the only godlen the empire looks to for approval. My own confirmation trials and my husband’s appealed to Estera, Prospira, and Creaden as well.

We cannot let one godlen with a taste for violence dictate the future of the continent any more than I’d expect you to lay down and surrender to our enemies for Elox’s sake.

Although even Elox wouldn’t ask that of you. ”

The crowd before me doesn’t look convinced. If even the nobles’ resolve is shaken here in the lavish protection of the palace, how will the soldiers and the common people be feeling as the news spreads?

Will I find myself even more outnumbered by enemies when Valerisse’s army makes it here?

“I have extended my gift in directions I never before considered,” I go on.

“I’ve given myself over to the hands of the gods to discover what messages they would give me.

I’ve bowed and bled to find the best way through this conflict.

You know me—you know I’ve served you as well as I’m able to.

Tribune Valerisse wants the rest of Dariu to serve her .

That selfishness doesn’t befit a ruler. The gods will not remain on her side. ”

A scoffing sound carries from a figure hidden in the crowd. “But maybe you’re too occupied with entangling yourself with your guards to care how the rest of us fare.”

One of those guards strides forward with a fierce expression, but I hold out my arm to stop him from leaving the dais.

Despite the thudding of my heart, my voice remains steady with the words I’ve thought through so many times in the short while before this announcement.

“Many of you have heard that news too—that I’ve taken some comfort in the arms of one of the soldiers who’s watched over me.

A soldier who’s fought more than once with incredible courage and honor to save my and Coraya’s lives.

Whatever his station, he’s earned immense respect. ”

“And more,” someone else says in a mocking tone.

“Just months after Marclinus was laid to rest…” another mutters.

I manage to stop my teeth from setting on edge. Yes, let’s talk about Marclinus.

I let my head droop in a show of mourning.

“No one misses my husband as I do.” That is, with all the relief and lingering trauma from the horrors he inflicted of me.

“But even when he was alive, there was no expectation of restricting our attentions. I’m sure everyone in this room saw that he bestowed his freely on many other parties, as was his right.

I hope you won’t shame me for sharing mine on some small scale after the loss of him. ”

The words came out calmly enough, but several mouths snap shut around the room. Eyes lower and lips twist as people must remember all the indiscretions they witnessed their emperor carrying out during our marriage, often right in front of me.

They can hardly hold him up as a model to be emulated and honored, and then chide me for following in his footsteps to a much-moderated degree.

In the sudden awkward silence, a voice I didn’t expect to hear pipes up.

“What’s so wrong about the empress being interested in a soldier?

” Neven pushes forward so he’s standing in front of the dais, his brown eyes flashing as if daring anyone to argue.

“Those men and women put their lives on the line to protect all of you and the empire, don’t they?

I don’t see how that makes them somehow less than us.

I—I’d be proud to have any member of the imperial military as a partner. ”

A trace of a blush creeps up his neck. For all the tension in me, I have to suppress a smile.

Somehow I suspect there’s one particular military figure he’s picturing at his side.

I pick up the thread he handed me. “Indeed. How lucky we are to have such fine fighting men and women working for us. They’re the ones who’ll see us through the conflict ahead.

I hope you’ll continue to offer them all due respect.

And if any of you have the means and inclination to contribute more to the protection of the imperial line, please approach me or any of my advisors.

Now let us retire to the hall of entertainments. ”

I sweep off the stage as if I’m nothing but confident in my declaration. My pulse is still skittering at a sickly pace, but I don’t let my stride falter.

Bianca falls in next to me in the hallway. After our talk the other day, she’s resumed her usual friendliness with no more anxious hesitation.

Her lips curve in a sly smile. “So you do have it in you after all. He’s a little odd to look at, but he obviously can’t be faulted for integrity.”

If only she knew. But her approving words bring my gaze sliding to my friend with more consideration than before.

She teased me once about my possible interest in Lorenzo, without showing any sign of disapproval even though my husband was still entirely alive at that time. Does she really enjoy seeing me pursue my own freedoms and pleasures?

It’s been more than a year since she last looked at me as a rival. She’s risked her own life to protect me, as dedicated as any of those soldiers. She nearly gave up the benefits of our friendship when she feared the association might harm me.

Maybe I shouldn’t even need to ask that question.

Looking at her smooth brown face, the tangle inside me loosens.

Marc and I have our strange, twisted relationship that often feels as much like obsession as love on his part.

My princes wanted to tear down the empire before I ever came here.

Bianca is a part of Dariu and the imperial court.

She profits from the empire’s continued power more than just about anyone.

If I want confirmation of whether my plans are leading us toward a better future or total disaster, who better to ask?

The vicerine knits her brow. “Is something wrong? I mean, more than the obvious.”

“I’m not sure. Could we talk for a moment, just the two of us, before we join the rest of court for tonight’s entertainments?”

If I were nervous, the pleased expression that softens Bianca’s features melts most of that anxiety away. “It’s far from a hardship to spend more time with you rather than the lot of them. Whatever’s on your mind, I’ll do my best to oblige.”

Does she think I’m going to ask her for a favor? I suppose in a way I am, but not at all the sort she could imagine.

We duck into one of the palace’s many sitting rooms. I leave all of my guards outside, with a pointed look at Marc to hold him at bay.

He shoots me a brief glower, but he trusts Bianca enough not to raise a fuss no matter what I say to her.

Let’s hope our instincts are right.

The vicerine settles into one of the chairs, but now that I’ve decided to make this confession, I can’t bring myself to stay in one place. I pace across the rug, pulling together the right words.

“I want to know what you think about something,” I say finally. “I’d like you to be honest with me. I’m hoping this step will make all of us better off in the end, but it may be a little difficult, in the transition…”

The furrow in Bianca’s forehead deepens. “I’m not sure how much help I can be when it comes to addressing an uprising. It is a little outside my experience.”

I have to laugh at the dryness in her tone, even as a lump chases the sound up my throat. “No. Not like that. I?—”

I force my feet to stop and look her in the eyes.

“If I hold on to the throne against Valerisse as I mean to, then once she’s dealt with…

I intend to focus solely on Dariu’s security and prosperity.

To form alliances with the other kingdoms but remove our authority over them, so we can collaborate as equals rather than tyrant and conquered territories. ”

Bianca blinks at me. I brace myself for her reaction, but the first thing that spills out of her is a guffaw of her own. “ That’s why the new palaces. It isn’t just for Creaden’s sake—or it is, but you really mean the recognition of the other royals as more than a show.”

“Well, I didn’t think it could hurt . And I doubt Creaden would be swayed if he thought the gesture was only superficial.”

Bianca swipes her hand back over her dark hair and shakes her head.

“You had me worried, Aurelia. I thought you were so frightened by this errant tribune that you were desperate enough to think I could help win a war. Instead, you’re already planning on restructuring the entire empire in our presumed victory. ”

“And that doesn’t bother you?” I press.

She pauses, her gaze going distant as she considers. “Will it mean we lose out on anything we currently get from those other countries?”

“We’ll need to offer them fairer payment for the goods and services we require,” I say. “But I think that balance has been tipped in Dariu’s favor so long we can hardly complain. And we get to lose out on the continued hostilities and rebellions, the underhanded trading and conflicts of interest.”

“I could do without all of those. Sounds like a reasonable exchange.”

Her easy-going words send relief rushing through me. Of course, Bianca doesn’t have direct business interests that will be affected. Many of the other nobles aren’t likely to be quite as accepting.

Her total lack of horror makes the ground beneath my feet feel that much more solid, though.

I can do this. I can defeat Valerisse and Sabrelle and whoever else tries to wrench the empire I’ve fought so hard for from my grasp, and leave even the nobles of Dariu happier once the dust settles.

As long as this palace and the city around us are still standing when that time comes.

Bianca leans back in her chair, watching me eagerly. “How are you going to put that treacherous viper in her place, Empress? I’ve never had to see you at war before.”

The answer rises up as if it was already there, just beyond my reach. “We’re not going to let them even reach Vivencia’s walls. We’ll meet them where the fewest possible innocents will be harmed and bring every skill and trick we have to bear.”

Which means I too will venture beyond the safety of these walls.

Marc once rode into battle against the Rionian rebels. How could I refuse to do the same for the people who are now mine?