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Chapter Twenty

Aurelia

N ormally I cherish every moment I can get alone with my princes. This once, I’m glad for Axius’s presence standing across the round table from me.

The high commander peers at the four hostage royals sitting around the table and then meets my gaze. “You specifically wanted the foster princes included in this discussion, Your Imperial Highness?”

I haven’t explained my idea to him yet. I might want the shielding from their full reaction, but it felt unfair to discuss it with anyone else before they heard.

I draw myself up straighter, focusing on Axius and not my lovers’ curious stares or that of Marc standing guard just inside the door.

“Yes. It’s occurred to me as perhaps it should have sooner that the princes may be the key to ensuring the royal families of the outer territories support my rule over Valerisse’s claims.”

Bastien’s puzzled frown is visible at the edge of my vision. “Of course we’ll help however we can. We’ve no interest in seeing traitors take over the empire.”

Neven leans his elbows on the table, his eyes lit up. “I can write to my parents—make an appeal, include anything you think would make a difference.”

He’s so eager to accommodate me that the ache already gripping my heart squeezes harder. It takes me a moment to recover my voice.

I open my mouth, and the words catch in my throat. My hands ball where they’re tucked into the folds of my billowing skirt.

“At this point, I think we need more than letters,” I say as if only to Axius. “We should send the princes themselves home, so they can make their appeals for me in the most direct and impactful possible way.”

Neven jerks even straighter. “If it would make a difference?—”

At the same moment, Raul blurts out a strangled, “ What? ”

The prince of Lavira catches himself before he protests any further, but his younger foster brother’s mouth snaps shut.

Neven glances around the table at the three now-rigid figures. At the mental calculation that must go on behind his eyes, his posture deflates.

He has no significant bonds tying him to Dariu. Heading home would only benefit him. But he knows the other princes have a much different level of investment.

To be fair, even Axius looks skeptical. “Send the fosters back? We would lose any—well, they’re meant to more closely connect their home countries to imperial interests. Without their presence here, their kingdoms might feel less inclined to support the current imperial powers rather than more.”

That’s a very polite way of saying they’re our leverage—which I think he’d have spelled out more blatantly if the leverage in question wasn’t here in the room with us.

The ache in my chest has grown teeth it’s sinking into my flesh, but I propel myself onward, still focusing on the high commander.

“That’s exactly why it will be such an impactful gesture.

We’re showing our good faith while asking them to act with their own.

I believe the princes will make a solid case for us, and one which their families will be more likely to believe when they can hear it without any mitigating factors. ”

Axius would have a difficult time arguing either of those points. He saw how all of the princes, even those with little military inclination, leapt in to help during the riot the other day.

Bastien clears his throat. His voice still comes out strained despite its usual evenness. “Are you sure this approach wouldn’t harm your case with the court—if they assume that we’ve ‘abandoned’ Dariu?”

I force myself to meet his gaze for the first time. “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them you’re on a mission for me. That will make my position sound more secure rather than less.”

Raul makes a rough sound that draws Axius’s head around, but the prince keeps quiet otherwise. I hate to think what furiously defiant thoughts are passing through his head at my proposal.

Doubt winds through my chest again, compressing my lungs. What if I’m asking too much, extending myself too far? Risking more than the gamble is worth?

I was never meant to be in this position in the first place. In the plans I made with my family and my godlen, I’d have been the picture of an obedient wife, gently nudging my emperor husband toward more compassionate policies bit by bit.

But here I am. This is the place I’ve ended up in with the hand I was dealt.

If I don’t claim my role with all the conviction I have in me, I’ll lose the throne right out from under me. I have to trust that my vision for the future is right… and that the royals who’ve been at odds with imperial rule for so long will recognize that too.

Axius is rubbing his jaw. “I can see the value of the plan. We certainly can’t afford to be all that cautious at this point.

I’d rather we didn’t need to call on anyone beyond the imperial forces to begin with, but desperate times…

” He smiles crookedly at me. “You’ve always been willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. ”

He has no idea just how much of a sacrifice this plan is for me.

I dip my head in acknowledgment and catch Lorenzo’s pained expression at the corner of my eye. My heart wrenches.

How is it fair for me to be putting them through this conversation with Axius as a buffer, merely to make it easier for myself? I can’t let them leave without giving them a chance to speak openly.

I’m not a coward, no matter how appealing that route looks right now.

I square my shoulders. “I’d like to speak with the princes alone to discuss our exact strategy. If they have any objections or concerns, they should have the opportunity to express those with minimal possible judgment.”

Axius only hesitates for a second. Presumably he thinks the likelihood of the princes attacking me, especially when I’ve just offered up their freedom, is nil. As he heads to the doorway, I seek out Marc’s gaze. “Please wait in the hall with the rest of my guards.”

My husband’s posture tenses, but he only flexes his jaw and follows Axius out of the room.

The second the door has thumped shut behind them, Raul launches into speech, if at a lower volume than I can tell is his natural inclination.

“This is ridiculous, Aurelia. We should be here with you. If there’s ever a time when you needed support— You know we don’t want to go ‘home’ for our own ends. There’s got to be another way.”

Bastien grimaces. “And who says our families will listen to us even if we’re right in front of them? We couldn’t make much progress on your behalf during the tour.”

Lorenzo fixes his gaze on me, so intent I can’t look away. “You shouldn’t have to be alone while you’re facing this. We’ve worked together through every step toward seeing you on the throne. We can do more together.”

Neven just watches the four of us, his expression drawn, as if he’s a kid watching his parents fight.

I swallow thickly. “I didn’t make this proposal lightly or without thorough consideration. If it was only about my immediate happiness, of course I’d want you right here. But in this one case, I think you can do so much more for me—and your home countries—if we work together from afar.”

Raul pushes back his chair to stand up, with a wave of his hand through the air. “Fuck that. You don’t need our families to win this war. You made it this far without a speck of help from them. I won’t be able to do anything at all with Valerisse staked out near Rodrige anyway.”

“I wasn’t up against a god before, and I’m not sure how much support I can count on from the other godlen no matter what I do.

” A tight smile crosses my lips. “And I think you’d manage to get to your mother.

You have a powerful gift and a trickster god on your side.

Her support might be the most important piece of this puzzle. ”

Bastien sucks a breath through his teeth. “I still don’t see how you can be sure a message directly from us would be better than one written. Axius might be right—the local rulers could see it as a signal of weakness. That would undermine everything we’d say.”

“Not if you say what I couldn’t say in front of him.”

Even Raul goes still. Lorenzo gazes up at me, his brow knitting. “What are you thinking, Rell?”

I look down at the table and then back at them.

“The mess we’re in isn’t just about defeating Valerisse.

I already needed to find a way to set your countries free without the Darium citizens thinking I’m dissolving the empire willy nilly.

I don’t want you to go home and simply talk up how wonderful I am.

I’m going to send letters with you, signed and marked with the imperial seal, confirming that if they support my claim on the throne, it’ll be proof enough of their loyalty that we can remove Darium oversight from their territories. ”

For a few moments, the princes only gape at me. Neven lets out a choked sort of laugh. “An answer to both problems tied together with a bow.”

Bastien’s expression has turned pensive. “Even with the seal, they’d worry that you might go back on your word…”

This is the hardest part. I place my hands on the table to steady myself.

“But you’ll leave the letters with them,” I say. “They’ll have proof of the promise I made. And as an additional show of trust… I’ll admit to a crime that would end my reign if they ever revealed it. If I fail to deliver on my end of the deal, they can unseat me.”

For a few seconds, none of the princes manage to speak. A strained noise escapes Bastien before he forces words from his throat. “You mean—you’d actually confess—if they want to lash out at you?—”

All of them can no doubt guess the most obvious crime I could acknowledge. I gather all my resolve.

“It’s the only way I can give them a guarantee. As you said, they’re not going to trust mere words. I’m handing them more than that, because I believe we can convince them of the better future we’re envisioning for the empire.” A tight smile crosses my lips. “Don’t tell me you’re losing faith now.”

“Of course not,” Raul says in a growl. “But to take that chance…”

I meet his gaze steadily, ignoring the wobble running through my nerves.

“And if I don’t? I came here as a pawn, and for so much of my time as empress I’ve still been controlled by what everyone else expects of me.

If I want to make a real change, I have to put my own neck out there.

” I pause, and my voice catches. “If I could do it without putting you all at risk too?—”

“Aurelia.” Lorenzo springs to his feet and wraps his arms around me. “We don’t want you to face this challenge on your own. Whatever you need from us, we’re here. Even if it means leaving you for a short while.”

A sudden burn forms behind my eyes.

Bastien squares his shoulders. “You know we’re all in, whatever it takes. And it will only be a short while, because we’ll be returning as soon as we’ve done all we can to ensure our families’ support. That should be more proof in itself—that we want to come back even though we don’t have to.”

Raul still looks anguished. “You can’t seriously be going along with this mad idea? If those letters get into Valerisse’s hands?—”

Blinking back the threatening tears, I set my gaze on him. “I’m trusting you all to make sure they don’t.”

Silence settles over us. With the immense sacrifices they made to their godlen, they’ve got stronger magic at their disposal than almost anyone in the world. Even if I only wanted to send regular messages, they’d be the most likely to get those missives safely to their destinations.

Lorenzo’s embrace tightens around me. “We’ll do whatever we have to do to convince our parents and come back to you with good news.”

I lean into him, too choked up to reply.

Raul strides over and tucks his head close to mine on the other side. “I don’t want to make the decision even harder for you, Shepherdess. I know how carefully you think things through. I just hate the thought of leaving you undefended—for any amount of time.”

I sputter a guffaw. “How worried do you think I am? I’m asking you to go riding across a country on the verge of war, probably by yourself.

At least I’ll still have my guards and a significant portion of the army around me.

I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I didn’t think it’s our best possible chance. ”

“We know that, Star,” Bastien says raggedly.

Raul presses a kiss to the crook of my jaw and draws back, wary of the guards who could enter at any moment. Lorenzo brushes his lips against my temple and eases away with equal reluctance.

I inhale slowly, doing my best to steady my nerves and my voice.

“It won’t be right away. We’ll want to discuss the most ideal phrasing for the letters to persuade each of the ruling families.

You should consult with Axius and possibly other soldiers on the safest routes for crossing the border unnoticed.

And we should come up with at least the start of a strategy for how the other countries can support me most effectively if they agree. ”

Bastien nods. “But we won’t want to leave it too long. We might not have much time.”

“Yes.” That’s true too, as much as I wish it wasn’t .

Raul covers his frustration with typical bravado. “We’ll talk it all through tonight, then. Better not leave your guards wondering if we’re disrespecting our empress with protests.”

I step out of the room first, with a gesture to Axius to indicate the matter is settled. He and I will need to talk further as well, but the current conversation has left me wrung out.

I set off for my chambers with my guards at my heels. In the imperial wing, the wetnurse is waiting near my door, rocking Coraya in her arms.

She smiles at me. “I thought you might like some time with the little empress-to-be before you turn in for the night.”

The sight of my daughter’s wide eyes loosens a portion of the tension inside me. I reach out to take her and tuck her head right under my chin.

“I’ll pass on word when I’m ready for her to go back to her room,” I say.

Inside my chambers, I walk straight to the vast bed and sit down in the middle of it, still cuddling Coraya close. I nuzzle her downy hair, absorbing the sweet infant scent that reminds me of just how much I have to fight for.

The panel in the wall whispers open. I glance over to see Bastien emerging.

The prince of Cotea takes in my pose and our daughter and climbs onto the bed without a word. He slips one arm around my waist. When he caresses Coraya’s cheek, she offers him a flicker of a smile and a gentle coo.

“We’ll get through this too,” Bastien says quietly, as if to both of us. “There hasn’t been one challenge yet that we couldn’t overcome.”

Yes. We will survive. I have to believe that.

But I’ll be enduring a broken heart for weeks while we do the overcoming.