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Chapter Twenty-Seven

Raul

I sit at the back of the darkened meeting room, reflecting on all the places I’d rather be right now: Tucked close against Aurelia on her bed while she sleeps. More than balls-deep inside her up against the wall. Dancing with her in the ballroom with my hands placed chastely for our audience.

Fuck, even sitting at a table across the dining room from her would be better. Anywhere I could see her, know she’s all right, and be ready to leap in if the situation changes.

But this is the best thing I can do for her: sitting here in this stuffy room that smells faintly of the rosemary my mother uses to keep her mind sharp. The letter I have tucked in the inner pocket of my jacket could get my empress much farther than any other assistance I could offer.

How far the conversation I add to that letter will get her remains to be seen .

I take a slow breath the way I can imagine Aurelia would suggest to steady myself. I won’t lose my temper. I won’t be the idiotic kid my family has seen me as for so long.

I’m here on business that could change the entire shape of the empire and set my kingdom free. That’s more than any of them have ever accomplished.

The darkness makes the room feel smaller, but it means I’ll be able to hide myself if a random member of staff pokes their head in for whatever reason. I shift on the chair, rubbing my thumb over my new gold ring.

I will return to her—to my wife .

The giddiness of that new title sweeps through me, just as the door clicks open.

I brace myself, but within the first second, I can tell the arrivals are exactly who I expected. As my mother slips inside with my brother at her heels and flicks her fingers toward the magic-blessed lantern, I push to my feet.

Mother and Fernam stall in their tracks, the thud of the door shutting behind them emphasizing their silence. My lips twist into a crooked grin as I raise my hand in a jaunty wave of greeting.

I’d like to think they’re only surprised because I’m supposed to be nearly half the continent away.

I suspect it’s also partly that it never occurred to them I’d have listened or remembered well enough to know the covert signal they share with key staff to indicate when a particularly urgent and discreet message needs to be conveyed.

But the signal I left—a tassel tied around the knob of Mother’s door—brought them to this room, so it all worked out regardless.

Of course, Her Highness Queen Benvida is not one to allow herself to show she’s rattled for long, even among her nearest relatives.

Mother lifts her chin and manages to peer down her nose at me even though I’ve got half a foot on her. “My goodness. Raul, what are you doing here without any announcement of your visit? No one told me you’d arrived.”

Fernam folds his arms over his chest and shakes his head with a fondly exasperated air I’m much too familiar with. “You didn’t offend the empress so badly she sent you on your way, did you?”

My first urge is to glower at the both of them. That’s also my second and third urge. Thankfully, I manage to find my way to a fourth option, which is to flatten both my smile and my voice just slightly.

“You didn’t hear about my visit because I didn’t want anyone knowing.

I’m here to convey a message from Her Imperial Highness, for your ears only.

Considering the precarious situation you’re currently in with an army of traitors on your doorstep, I assume you can understand the need for subterfuge. ”

Mother blinks at me, a more subtle sign that she’s startled. I’ve managed to surprise her twice in the space of a minute. Wonders upon wonders.

“She sent you ?” she begins in a tone so puzzled it’s definitely insulting, and then recovers herself again with a pat of her pale hair.

“Well, I suppose there’s a certain sense to that.

She might not have wanted to risk any of her most skilled soldiers, and she’d know you’d be more familiar than any with the palace. ”

Naturally her first assumption would be that I was sent because I’m more expendable.

Before I can respond, she motions to the table. Her voice turns cloyingly gentle—affectionate, but the kind of affection you’d extend to a wobbly toddler. “Why don’t you sit back down, and we’ll discuss this message of yours? I’m sure you’ve had a stressful time getting here. ”

Yes, dodging the soldiers patrolling the highways at the border wasn’t a laugh riot. I haven’t had a proper bath in days, and my clothes probably smell of the poor horse I pushed to its limits getting up here that fast.

And I’d do it all over again in an instant if it means they’ll listen to me.

I do sit, because it’s a reasonable suggestion despite her delivery of the suggestion, and retrieve the letter from my jacket. “You’d better read Aurelia’s message first. She lays out exactly what she’s hoping for, and I can answer any questions you have. I assure you, she means every word of it.”

As I set the letter on the table between us, my mother’s eyelid tics. It occurs to me after the fact that I was a little too familiar in how I spoke about our empress.

Oh, well. Maybe that’ll work toward convincing her that I know Aurelia’s mind.

Stay focused, Raul.

Mother slides the letter closer, taking in the imperial crest pressed into the wax seal. She sits down in a chair at the other side of the table and works the envelope open. Fernam sinks into the seat beside her to read as well.

I clasp my hands on the table to stop them from fidgeting. It’s almost amusing watching both the queen and the crown prince fight to control their expressions as they absorb Aurelia’s promise—and the confession she’s offering them as leverage.

Mother opens her mouth and closes it again. I can tell she reads the letter at least twice, as if she thinks it might say something different on the second go. Fernam lets out a bark of a laugh and then schools his face impassive again at Mother’s chiding glance.

Mother aims her evaluating stare at me. “She can’t be serious. ”

I splay my hands. “I don’t see how she could make herself sound more so. She thought long and hard about how to convince you just how serious she is.”

“There must be a trick to it. You’re out of your depth here, Raul. There’s no circumstances where the empress would agree to divest herself of her own empire. And she’s making this supposed offer to the other conquered countries too?”

My teeth grit, but I manage to let the insult slide off my back.

“All except Accasy, because she could hardly travel there herself to deliver the message, but she’ll do the same for them too.

Why is it so hard for you to believe? She started out as one of us, a royal under the empire’s thumb.

She lived that life for twenty-one times longer than she’s been empress. ”

Fernam speaks slowly as if he thinks I won’t understand otherwise. “But she did become empress. By all accounts, she worked very hard to obtain that position. That certainly speaks to a great ambition.”

An edge creeps into my voice. “Yes, it does.” I catch myself and drag in another lungful of air before continuing in a milder tone.

“Her ambition is as it always was to free the rest of us, including her own suffering country, from the empire’s claws.

She obviously couldn’t say so to you explicitly when she was here before, since she didn’t have the power to make good on the ambition at the time and her husband would have executed her if he’d caught wind. ”

Mother clicks her tongue. “That’s all easy to say, much harder to prove. If she expects us to throw our citizens into this civil war on her behalf, we’ll need more than pretty words.”

“She has given you more than words. She’s offered up knowledge you could use to turn all of Dariu against her if you revealed it. What more guarantee could she give that she’ll follow through on her promise? ”

Mother’s expression softens, and I realize my voice has risen. I’m playing into her impression of me as a hotheaded cretin again.

I tuck my hands under the table so she can’t see them if they ball into fists. But instead of clenching them, I trace the line of my wedding band again.

Marc placed this ring on my finger. I can still see him with that small but warm smile as he declared us all Aurelia’s husbands alongside her. The prick actually complimented us, welcomed us farther into her life.

He’s back there right now, looking after her while the rest of us can’t. And… I actually believe he is looking after her.

Somehow he’s become something other than a prick.

If even the imperial asshole can reform himself in my eyes, surely I can get my family to see me as more than a fuck-up?

When I speak again, the steady tone comes more naturally to me.

“I apologize. The urgency of the situation is weighing on me, but of course you need to take your time considering her terms. It is a gamble—neither of us would deny that. But I feel it’d be an even greater gamble to stand back and see what becomes of us if the empire falls into Valerisse’s hands.

You saw how she handled the rebels last year. ”

Mother doesn’t let any discomfort show on her face, but her grip on the letter tightens just enough to crease the paper. “Obviously I’d prefer not to witness such a slaughter again. I’m simply unconvinced that sending our people to a different slaughter is the answer.”

“That’s understandable.” I hold her gaze, keeping mine as firm as I can.

“I realize I sprang this idea on you out of nowhere, and it’s a decision that must be considered with all due gravity.

But please do take time to consider it. I risked my life coming here because I believe this is the best thing for our kingdom.

If you need more reassurance, think on what that would look like so I can tell Aurelia when I return. Is that fair?”

My mother considers me for a longer moment than is really comfortable, but I manage not to squirm. “I suppose it is. Although I assume the empress would prefer an answer as soon as possible.”

“She wouldn’t want to rush you. It isn’t her way to force capitulation.”

“What will you do in the meantime?”

My lips curve wryly. “I have a few old texts I think the palace librarians will be overjoyed for you to return to them on my behalf. Otherwise… it’s best if no one other than you two catches wind that I’m actually here.

I could hide in my old bedroom if one of you can contrive to get food to me there.

Or I have a safe house I can go back to with arrangements to return in another day or two to discuss the matter further. ”

Mother hums. “I think we can see that you remain in the palace unstarved. I may very well have further questions once I’ve given the matter more thought. Let me retire to my chambers to do just that now.”

Fernam and I stand as she does. I can’t tell whether she’s softened at all to the proposal. She sweeps out of the room without another word.

Was this whole journey pointless? Or worse, did we put ammunition in my family’s hands that they’ll use against Aurelia rather than taking her up on her offer?

Fernam’s smile slants. “Well, you’ve certainly caught her attention.” He casts a provoking glance my way. “I’d heard you’d made quite a ladies’ man of yourself in the Darium court, but it never occurred to me you’d have weaseled your way into the empress’s drawers. ”

I don’t think he actually believes I’m fucking the empress—even though I am —but the heckling comment brings my temper surging back. Whatever he thinks of me, he shouldn’t talk about Aurelia as if she’s a whore.

A sharp retort springs to my tongue. I’m sure my anger shows on my face. But at the same time, the sensation of the silk cloth binding Aurelia’s hand to mine whispers over my fingers.

I swallow my rancor.

What are older brothers for if not to heckle? He probably feels off-balance when I’ve arrived with such a major proposition, and he’s trying to reassert himself as the more important prince in the room.

I don’t have to let him.

I cock my head to one side and match his tone. “I hope you never let Mother hear that you think women who rule make their decisions based on who they’ve taken to their beds.”

Fernam blinks at me. Then he lets out a fuller laugh. “You know, maybe Her Imperial Highness has had a good influence on you . I’ve never seen you like this before… but it’s good. It was about time you grew up.”

It’s easier to stifle my annoyance when I can’t say he’s entirely wrong on that point. And when he steps around the table to cuff me fondly on the shoulder.

“Thank you for coming all this way to give us this opportunity,” he says.

“I know Mother is being cautious about it, but she has to see it could be the best way forward for all of us. And if Empress Aurelia truly offed Tarquin, we owe her a heap of thanks already. I’ll do what I can to sway Mother. ”

It’s my turn to stare. Fernam doesn’t seem to notice my shock, simply giving me another pat and heading out with a promise to secret some extras from the kitchen to my room. I watch the door swing shut behind him, my throat closing up with an ache that’s more sweet than bitter.

I brought him around. If I could accomplish that… then Mother shouldn’t be impossible after all.