Page 29

Chapter Twenty-One

Marc

I never thought I’d see my lowered position as a benefit. Yet it is convenient that I can gather with my foster brothers while I’m temporarily relieved of guard duty without anyone wondering where I’ve gone or why.

I tap on the map that’s formed on the huge round table in the meeting room. Thankfully, its enchantment is keyed to respond to anyone’s gestures, not only the royal family’s. Blasted palace deciding I don’t count anymore.

Although I don’t count to anyone else either. If our current conflict has taught me anything, it’s that imperial authority is determined much more by other people’s opinions of whether you should wield it than divine right or anything else I once believed in.

I motion Prince Neven closer. “You’ll want to avoid the main road into Goric.

Valerisse will almost certainly have sentries posted keeping an eye on things there.

I’d stick to one of these smaller throughways”—I sketch my fingers across a couple of the lines that’ve come into clearer focus—“and then once you pass this town, veer right into the forests here. The riding will be harder, but you’re unlikely to bump into any hostile soldiers. ”

The Gorician prince nods, his mouth pressed in a tight line. He holds his body as if he’s avoiding getting any closer to me than he needs to while following my guidance.

It’s clear none of the princes are happy that I’m leading this meeting. To be fair, I can’t say I’m all that happy about it either. I only volunteered because there are a few imperial secrets even Axius doesn’t know.

I indicate a spot near the base of the mountains just east of Goric’s capital city.

“Approach Andov cautiously and get a sense of what Darium military activity is happening there. If you don’t feel it’s wise to head straight in, there’s a shelter a couple of hours’ ride away that’s stockpiled with food and additional equipment.

Be as patient as you need to be. We won’t get anywhere if you’re caught before you can even talk to your parents. ”

“I know that,” Neven says brusquely. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

At the other side of the table, Prince Raul swipes his hands together in a dismissive gesture. “Our imperial foster brother is just covering his ass pretending to be helpful. He’s actually hoping we’ll all get rounded up and gutted so there’s no chance we’ll come back.”

I shoot a glower at him. “It shouldn’t be hard for you to believe that I want this mission to succeed. I’m better off with Aurelia on the throne than whatever new emperor Valerisse thinks she’s going to stick there.”

Prince Bastien gives me one of his narrow looks, as if he’s trying to evaluate how to most efficiently gut me . “And you aren’t at all hoping she might be persuaded to stick you there?”

I can’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. “The court that spent most of their days around me doesn’t recognize me. I hardly think she’ll believe who I actually am. And?—”

I cut myself off at the lance of pain that slices through my gut.

And even if I won that extreme gamble, I’d lose Aurelia. I’d have to label her a traitor and see her executed.

No. The palace’s magic has refused me. The entire country has already mourned ‘my’ death. I can’t see any way that making a play for the throne in my current state would end in anything but an even worse tragedy.

Nonetheless, the memories of the blank gazes that travel over me as if I barely exist, perhaps only pausing with a wince of disgust at my marred face, send the sense of loss jabbing deeper. You’d think these pricks could appreciate how much I’ve already given up.

“I’m trying to help you survive,” I reply flatly, and sweep my hand across the table to swing the visible part of the map over to Cotea.

“You could use that assistance more than anyone, Your Highness. The open terrain along the Cotean border makes it particularly difficult for travelers to escape notice.”

I have the impression Bastien has restrained a sigh. “And how do you recommend I avoid that notice?”

“The hills just south of the river.” I rest my hand below them.

“There are two guard posts that can keep watch over almost all of them, but we have a secluded route for any small convoys we don’t want the regular soldiers seeing.

There’s a hidden door and a tunnel through one of the hills—I’ll show you the pattern for unlocking the door once you’ve uncovered it. ”

Bastien’s eyebrows rise. “The imperial family always keeps their options open, don’t they?”

“You don’t maintain control over an entire continent—or half of one—for centuries without making use of every possible advantage. You shouldn’t complain. It benefits you now.”

Prince Lorenzo twists his hand in the air in a gesture I can’t understand but that makes Bastien grimace. I don’t know if that means the mute prince was speaking in my favor or against it.

Raul saunters closer, folding his arms over his chest. “And how can you benefit me, Marc ? Can you whisk me into Rodrige right under Valerisse’s nose?”

Ignoring his tone, I pull the map over to Lavira. “I’ve gathered that your gift can help with that. You can do something with darkness, can’t you? Make any precarious approaches by night, and I’m sure you’ll be fine. But if you’re worried…”

I point out a small town about halfway between the border and the capital.

“There’s another imperial shelter in the woods just north of Eldovon.

You could hole up there during the day if you can’t make the entire trek past Valerisse’s forces in one night.

I’ll go over the trick to unlocking that one as well. ”

Bastien glances at Raul. “The most precarious part for you will be after you’ve arrived. It might be difficult to keep word from spreading that Queen Benvida’s younger son has come calling unexpectedly.”

Raul huffs. “My family might thrive on conversation, but they know when they need to keep their mouths shut.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” I say.

Bastien aims a thin smile at me. “Other than you arranging our departure in such a way that we never come back. ”

I grit my teeth against another instinctive protest.

Why should I be surprised that they feel that way? It isn’t as if I haven’t wished more than a thousand times in the past few weeks that…

That they’d disappear and leave Aurelia to me? That I’d never have to see her grace them with the adoring smile she’s never granted me with quite the same warmth? Never have to watch them caress and pleasure her?

I expected to take a bitter satisfaction at the thought of her lovers disappearing.

Instead, I find myself picturing the scene I witnessed in my wife’s bedroom just two days ago.

The way the man who’s still glaring at me embraced her so tenderly, the softening of his face as he gazed down at the child who’s really his , not mine…

The way Aurelia relaxed into his body as if shedding all the weight she’d been carrying…

Bitterness does sear through me, but it’s focused on my own deficiencies rather than theirs. What I haven’t been able to give her. What I failed to recognize while I had the chance.

Do I really want to see how her heart would shatter if even one of these men failed to return? It isn’t as if I could comfort her through the loss. She’s offered me a shred of affection, yes—a shred I cherish every time I remember that brief kiss. But that’s hardly enough to sustain her.

She needs them. And they… I can admit they’ve earned it.

I fix Bastien and then the others with my firmest stare. “You’d better make it back. For Aurelia’s sake. You’ve made a point of proving you’re leagues more capable than I gave you credit for. Don’t fall down on the job now.”

Bastien blinks at me. Raul lets out a scoffing sound that Neven echoes like a parrot.

Lorenzo… Do the corners of his lips curve upward for just an instant ?

“Believe me,” he says in that unnerving voice that doesn’t shift his mouth, “there’s nothing shy of a second Great Retribution that could keep me from her side any longer than she requires it.”

Raul grunts. “That’s right. So you’d better make sure she’s perfectly safe while we’re gone.”

I exercise immense self-discipline and avoid pointing out to him that I saved Lorenzo’s life just a week ago. Do they not realize I’d let myself be flayed to the bone if it protected her?

And so would they. I can’t deny that fact either.

Their devotion shines on their faces now, reverberates through their voices—even Neven’s, in his less heartsick way.

It’s showed in every move they’ve made on her behalf that I’ve seen in the past weeks and those I’ve heard about from the months before.

And yet they still have to meet with just me in this meeting room while Aurelia attends to other concerns, because she’s already nervous about how much attention she’s focused on them since she came up with her plan.

For fuck’s sake, I get to enjoy her presence more than they do, as distant as it often is, and I’ve spent most of my time in her life as a villain rather than her hero.

An unexpected knot forms low in my gut.

I yank my attention back to the map and talk Lorenzo through the far easier passage he’ll have heading in the opposite direction from Valerisse’s forces.

I spell out the exact markers that will lead to the imperial caches I’ve mentioned and demonstrate the necessary patterns for unlocking the entrances.

All the while, the pressure of the knot climbs up from my stomach through my chest to my throat.

When I’m finished, my foster brothers gather together in a circle that doesn’t include me. They knock fists and exchange encouraging words, all of them girding themselves for the journey that’s supposed to start in the early hours of tomorrow morning.

For all their bravado, the strain of leaving Aurelia behind shows in their shadowed eyes and tensed jaws. They’re throwing themselves into more danger than most of the soldiers under her rule are facing, not because they like the idea, only because she’s asked it of them.

And it’s going to wrench at her just as much. It already is. She hides it well, but I can see it in every shift of her face when she’s around them, every careful lilt of her voice.

If they don’t return, she won’t even be allowed to mourn them. While she gave my brother a public spectacle of grief he sure as shit didn’t deserve.

No matter how I feel about them, it isn’t right.

Instead of heading straight back to resume my duty watching over our empress, I head down to the palace barracks. The men in my assigned dormitory are all sleeping, various snores mingling together. I walk past them to my bed in the corner and pop open my small trunk that holds my possessions.

Digging through the layers of the two changes of clothes I now own, my fingers close around a thin, smooth metal band.

Not totally smooth. Without even pulling it out into view, I’m aware of the rough edges where the strip of metal was cut through.

My hand tightens around the broken band. I close my eyes, and the image swims up of Father fastening it around my wrist and activating the enchantment so my bangle would match Linus’s.

Aurelia might have offered me one small token of affection, might have put a little faith in me, but she isn’t even really my wife. I’m not the one who married her, not in the official ceremony that was supposed to establish our bond, if you believe both parties need to be literally present.

But perhaps I still have enough of a divine blessing lingering on me to do one right thing before the woman I’d die for risks the men she actually loves for the good of my empire.

I tuck the band away, my mind already spinning through the practicalities. When I leave the barracks, I make my way to the dining room where I know Aurelia will be having lunch.

Her gaze ticks toward the doorway the moment I enter. She’s always aware of me, just as I am of her.

Let me put that awareness to good use.

When she departs the head table, I fall into step alongside the other guards. She heads to her chambers, offering compliments and smiles to all the nobles who pass, as if she isn’t in the process of tearing her heart out.

My resolve firms even more.

I follow her into her bedroom and take my post inside the door. She scoops up her cat and turns toward me before I can decide how to broach the subject.

“Everything went fine with your meeting?” she asks. Because it isn’t a given.

“There were no casualties,” I say with automatic derision, and catch myself. “But I think there’s one more important thing we need to take care of before they leave.”

Aurelia frowns. “What’s that?”

“I’ll have to get everything in order. Just—delay their departure another day? I’ll explain tomorrow when it’s all prepared.”

Her brow stays knit, but she tips her head in acceptance, because somehow I’ve earned that much trust already.

May I prove worthy of it in every way she could want.