Page 32 of A Maid of No Consequence (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

ON WHICH HER HOPES AND WISHES MIGHT BE FIXED

“ I must tell you, that my feelings are not the same as they were in Kent.”

They stood outside the cottage, in the same place as they had spoken the evening before.

In the morning sun, the atmosphere between them felt quite different; it was full of hope and longing.

It was the cusp of autumn, and the transition of seasons brought changing colours to the trees surrounding them.

The birds were singing this morning, and in the distance, the sounds of workmen busy with their repairs at the chapel wafted towards them on the breeze, but Elizabeth heard nothing but Mr Darcy’s words echoing in her head.

Had she heard him correctly? His feelings were not the same? Elizabeth swallowed hard against the tide of disappointment which threatened to overwhelm her, the mortification which caused her cheeks to flush. She hoped she would not cry and managed only to utter, “I see.”

Disappointment was something she was familiar with, and she would manage it with dignity. She inhaled deeply. “I cannot say that was what I expected, but I do understand.”

He stepped slightly closer and gave her a look so piercing, she almost looked away. Instead, her eyes stinging with tears, she turned, ready to flee. Before she could, he reached out and caught her elbow.

“I do not believe that you do understand.”

She glanced at the hand on her arm and then up at Mr Darcy’s face. There was a peculiar light in his eyes. “Then you must explain it to me.”

He lifted a hand to her cheek. “My feelings are no longer the same as they were, Elizabeth, because they are so much more.”

The swing from devastation to delight made her almost faint. “They are?”

Nodding, he pulled her a little closer to him. “They are.”

She smiled and tried to catch the breath that had fled her lungs.

“Letters are good,” he continued. “But the spoken word is better, especially when the woman I love is telling me how she feels.”

The woman I love? She gasped. Had he really just spoken those words aloud? Elizabeth felt her face flush, and fumbled for a reply. “It is hard to speak so boldly, to say such words to a man to whom I am not?—”

“Not what?”

“Betrothed,” she whispered.

“We could soon remedy that, if you were so inclined.” His voice was rich with warmth and affection. “But in the hopes of not being ineloquent again, I first may need some encouragement.”

She smiled at his teasing but understanding that he too was vulnerable, answered him seriously. “I highly esteem you.”

Mr Darcy traced a finger down her cheek to gently lift her chin so that she was looking at him. The way he looked at her made her feel weak and joyous all at once. How is that even possible?

His deep yet soothing voice reverberated through her. “A good beginning, but certainly not where I wish to end. I want more than your esteem, Elizabeth. Far more.”

“Very well.” She smiled to him softly, finding courage in the eyes reflecting back at her. “Then I shall tell you what has been written on my heart for weeks. I have fallen in love with you.” Once the words were out, she felt a rush of relief and joy.

“I daresay it is about time you have come to acknowledge it.”

Elizabeth laughed at his words, perhaps more heartily than was warranted. “Teasing, teasing man! Continue in this vein and I may need to retract my letter.”

“Ah, there it is,” he cried.

“There what is?”

“The lively spark that I have been waiting to return. The spark that lights you up from the inside out. I have seen mere glimpses of it, until now. It was what caused me to fall in love with you so quickly at Netherfield.”

“At Netherfield? That was very near the start?—”

“At Netherfield, when you sparred with me, with words and your quick wit, and indeed those very fine eyes—they were the undoing of me.”

“At Netherfield? I had no idea.”

Mr Darcy shook his head ruefully. “I fell in love with you at Netherfield and became besotted with you in Kent. The five years between that and when I picked you up from a mud puddle in London...I suppose you might say I had grown somewhat obsessed with my memories of you. Meeting you again felt nearly miraculous and when you allowed me to aid you in your situation, I knew that you would forever own my heart. I could only wish you would feel the same for me one day.”

Although nearly trembling at the outpouring of heartfelt words which proved such a longstanding affection, Elizabeth remained sensible.

“Speaking of the mud in London…”

“Were we?”

She laughed lightly. “In a manner of speaking. I only mean to remind you that there are obstacles, significant ones, to be overcome.”

“If you speak of Lady Pollard’s tongue, I daresay she will keep herself quiet. I made it amply clear at Haringwood that it was in her best interests to be silent lest the ton find out she is abusive to her servants and that her husband takes advantage of the housemaids.”

“Will it be enough?” Elizabeth asked worriedly. “There likely are others in society who behave similarly.”

“Yes. If nothing else, for her true character to be revealed could substantially impact her ability to hire and keep good people for her houses. Imagine if she were to find herself mistress of a house where she was required to mend her own stockings.”

Elizabeth laughed at that notion. He spoke so lightly, so dismissively of the problem.

What could she do but trust in him? She stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

She had never held a man this close, and yet she knew this was right where she should be.

He hesitated a moment, in all likelihood surprised by her boldness, then quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer to his chest.

“You are my heart,” he whispered, “I love you more with each day that passes. Pray, do not ever leave me.”

“I shall not,” she promised, and tightened her arms around him.

“May I kiss you?” he asked in a low voice.

“No,” she replied in a whisper.

He stiffened, as if confused, and said nothing more. Elizabeth pulled away just enough to look up into his countenance. “I believe you have a question you must ask me first.”

“Then I shall ask it.” His expression turned quite serious, his eyes dark and piercing, a look she had not recognised in him before, and her breath caught.

“Elizabeth Bennet, that I would like to kiss you is true. But I want more than that. I would like a lifetime of your kisses, a lifetime with you at my side. I love you, and I cannot imagine my future without you in it. If you love me, as I love you, will you consent to be my wife?”

“I shall, with all my heart.” She threw her arms around him and let her betrothed finally have a kiss.