Page 10 of A Maid of No Consequence (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

MORE THAN A MOMENT’S DELIBERATION

T he following morning, Darcy found himself sitting across from Elizabeth and ‘her companion’, Sarah, in the Darcy carriage.

They had acquired an additional person to their party, in the form of Reggie, the former groom at the Pollard residence, who now rode ahead in the servants’ carriage.

He had been insistent about not letting Sarah go without him, and Darcy did not have the heart to say no.

Looking at Sarah now, clothed in attire befitting a lady’s companion, he wondered at himself for getting involved in the lives of servants—not to mention taking tea in a housekeeper’s quarters.

There had been a time when he would not have condescended to such actions, but for Elizabeth’s opinion of him, so vehemently shared at Hunsford parsonage, he had given thought to how he could, and would, change himself for the better.

It was by some miracle that Elizabeth agreed to allow him to transport her away from London, to visit her sister.

In truth, Darcy was grateful for the gentle suggestions made by Mrs Partridge, which finally convinced Elizabeth to come.

The Gardiners’ former housekeeper obviously held Elizabeth in high regard, seeing her not as the servant she was now, but knowing and respecting her as she had been: a gentleman’s daughter.

The kindly woman had also provided clothing for Elizabeth, collecting discards from her mistress’s daughter, as well as appropriate clothing for Sarah.

All was going according to plan, and yet, Darcy could only feel turmoil churning within him.

“You are frowning, Mr Darcy.” Her voice brought him out of his ruminations.

“Am I?”

She nodded. “I recognise it from the days I spent at Netherfield Park.” She gave him an arch look which was nearly his undoing, but she soon returned to seriousness. “Are you perhaps regretting your offer to help a lowly maid obtain a new position?”

“I see no maid in this carriage.”

“I may not be dressed as one today, but we know the truth of the matter.”

“My only concern is to see you safely to your sister, Miss Bennet.” In fact, it was one of many concerns playing on his mind.

She returned to looking out the window, and Darcy was afforded a very fine view of her profile. It was the face he had dreamt of for five years, and now, she was here, literally within arm’s reach but separated from him by the difficulties of the recent past. I must bridge this chasm between us.

Beyond comments on the weather and views from the windows, Darcy noted there had been little conversation in the carriage.

To ease the tension, he decided to ride his horse alongside the carriage for part of the day, giving Elizabeth and Sarah time to speak alone as friends, knowing his presence may keep them from speaking freely.

And indeed, that is what they were, friends.

They had known each other for only six months and despite the distance between them in birth and station, Darcy clearly saw loyalty and kinship between them.

That was his Elizabeth: to know her was to love her.

She had the kindest heart of anyone he had known, in spite of her stubborn nature.

And in truth, he found her determination quite endearing.

He stole a few glances towards the carriage during the next hour, and was rewarded, once or twice—no, three times—by seeing Elizabeth turn at the exact time as he, and wearing a small smile. Her look of contentment brightened her eyes.

Yet again, his thoughts carried him to the hope that perhaps things had changed in Elizabeth’s mind. Might her thoughts of him be more agreeable rather than accusatory? Might she now think him kind instead of officious? And if her opinion of him had changed…then what?

He wanted to have her as his wife, undoubtedly.

But the differences between them had widened during the last five years, and in Darcy’s mind, this created an impassable gulf.

Yet, in spite of the near impossibility of it, a small ember of hopefulness remained through the nagging and oft-repeated questions in his head: How would society view his taking a former maid as a wife?

Would they ever need to know of her past ?

Like a puzzle without an obvious solution, he pushed aside such vacillations to think upon another day. For now, he would savour the joy of being in Elizabeth’s presence.

Upon reaching the first coaching inn, they entered a small private room adjacent to the public room; two tables awaited them. As Sarah walked towards the one by the wall, Darcy gestured for Elizabeth to join him at the table nearest them.

“Sir, it would be inappropriate.”

“I only ask that you share a meal with me, here at this table, at an inn where your companion is within arm’s length. Surely there could be no impropriety in sharing a meal together, so that we may talk.” He shared a gentle smile with her, and he could see her shoulders relax.

“I suppose there can be no harm in it.”

They sat down, and Darcy placed a wrapped package on the empty chair to his right.

He noticed Elizabeth’s eyes follow his motion, but she did not remark on it.

Once the food—a hearty stew, bread, and cheese—had arrived, he had to stop himself from staring at Elizabeth as she ate.

Clearly, she was enjoying the simple fare.

Elizabeth appeared to notice his observation and broke the silence that had fallen.

“Thank you, sir. This is very good, and is very much appreciated.” She looked over at Sarah, who was taking measures not to look towards their table.

“You have taken care of all of us, not just myself and Sarah, but Reggie as well, and that kindness does not go unnoticed, or unappreciated. ”

He shook his head. “Please, think nothing of it. It is the least I can do.”

“Nothing you have done for the past few days, can be described as ‘least’, Mr Darcy. And as much as I pride myself on needing no help at all, I own that I was rather helpless. I am not too proud to say thank you and while I still feel so undeserving of any of what you have given to me—” She stopped herself, and he could see she was trying to gain control of her emotions.

“Just say the word, Miss Bennet, and I shall retrieve a freshly starched handkerchief for you.”

This brought a small smile to her face, and some colour to her cheeks. He loved seeing her countenance lift from sadness to provide him just a glimpse of the woman he knew five years ago. She was still there, he knew, but under years of turmoil, difficulty, and grief.

“Are you trying to make me smile, Mr Darcy?”

“Would it be so wrong if I said I was?”

“Not wrong, I suppose…but a little out of character maybe.”

“Well then, perhaps using my unpredictable nature to surprise you will be something I could aspire to.” Grinning, he enjoyed seeing her eyes light up in amusement.

When they had finished their repast, Darcy reached to the chair beside him. “I have something for you.” He handed her the wrapped bundle.

“What is this?” Elizabeth looked wary. “I cannot accept?—”

“It is not a gift—I know that would not be considered appropriate. But I can lend something to you, if you would be amenable to that.” He handed her the bundle again, and this time she accepted it. She carefully pulled the string and the cloth opened to reveal four small books.

“Oh! How wonderful!”

Darcy revelled in her look of surprise, and then in the smile that brightened her face. “I remembered how much you enjoyed reading.”

“I do, yes.” She was opening each of the books, one by one.

“These are just a few of Georgiana’s favourites from the library at our home in London.

In the rush to leave, I had forgotten to give them to you this morning.

I did not know if you would enjoy reading in a carriage—some people cannot, when the roads are especially rough.

But, even still, you can enjoy them in the evenings, at the inns, if there is sufficient candlelight.

I will see that you are provided what you require. ”

“This is unexpected, and so very thoughtful. Thank you.” She looked up at him, colour rising to her cheeks.

“It is nothing. There is, as you can see, some Shakespeare. I did not know if you care for that sort of thing, but there is a nice collection of sonnets there.” He cleared his throat. “There is also a book on the landscape and nature of Derbyshire, as well as a novel, or two.”

“Novels, sir?” Elizabeth gave him a look of all seriousness. Had he overstepped?

“Ah, yes my sister’s taste is, ah?—”

She started to laugh, and he could not help but smile at the loveliest sound he had heard in years.

“You tease me!” He pretended to look affronted, which made Elizabeth laugh yet again.

“I could not pass over the opportunity. In all seriousness, Mr Darcy, this is very kind. Thank you for thinking of me.”

She would not know that the words ‘I always think of you’ sat on the tip of his tongue, or how difficult it was for him to hold those thoughts to himself alone.

Nor would she know that when she held his small bundle of books close to her heart, as she did now with both hands, that he would feel quite jealous for those lifeless blocks of leather, glue, thread, and paper, as they had no idea just how fortunate they were.