Page 25 of A Maid of No Consequence (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

ATTENDANCE, FORBEARANCE, AND DISAPPOINTMENT

E lizabeth smiled at the sound of Sarah singing upstairs as she settled into her new bedchamber at the Murdoch cottage.

Elizabeth was seated at a desk in what would become her own study, sorting through a box of books sent from Pemberley; they were mostly educational in nature—books on spelling, grammar, and mathematics.

Her mind was alive with possibilities and recent conversations.

Just a few hours earlier, she had been seated across from Mr Darcy in the carriage, speaking of what was to come with this teaching opportunity he had given to her.

Her life had changed so drastically in so short a time, it felt nearly miraculous.

Her thoughts kept returning to Darcy’s kind smile, which she rarely saw displayed on their first acquaintance years ago.

Even during his proposal, he had not smiled; his countenance being so severe, it was easily perceived as a frown.

Now she was seeing the man beneath the grave exterior.

What has caused this change in him? Dare I hope I am still dear to him?

She shook her head to rid it of such thoughts. It could never be. She must learn to be satisfied with what she had, and not yearn for more. Had she not been reminded of that fact only earlier today?

On her return to Pemberley, she had been summoned to Lady Landon’s rooms, where they had an illuminating, if not awkward, conversation.

Lady Landon was as resplendently dressed as she had been the evening before and sat at her leisure in her private sitting room.

Beckoning Elizabeth over to a table set with refreshments, she exclaimed, “What a day you have had! I heard Lady Catherine’s vociferousness reverberating through the walls.

” The viscountess closed her eyes briefly and shook her head.

“I understand things have now settled, and in any case, I do hope you had a nice afternoon before the uproar.”

“Indeed! I very much enjoyed meeting the Dorset children, and their mother.”

“I am very glad to hear it,” she said, pouring them each a cup of tea. “Mr Darcy has assured us that you are the best person for the position.”

Feeling her cheeks flush with warmth, Elizabeth said, “I am not quite sure of that, but I am appreciative of his largesse.”

“I believe there is more to it than just well-meaning generosity. If you know Darcy at all, you must know he does not bestow this kind of attention on just anyone.”

“I cannot speak of Mr Darcy’s motives,” said Elizabeth. “But as he assured your family last evening, he and I were acquainted years ago, and he felt a certain debt to my family, as friends, of which I am grateful.”

Lady Landon sat back with her teacup in hand, and eyed Elizabeth curiously.

“I cannot see that he would have befriended a country gentleman from Hertfordshire. But I do see that he holds you in very high regard. And that is something that I have not seen from Darcy for…well, as long as I have known him. May I speak plainly?”

“I would like nothing less.”

“My husband and his brother are concerned for Darcy’s reputation, which is why we are here.

We understand that through no fault of your own, you have been put into a situation not of your choosing.

As you are here now, and as a friend of Darcy’s, we must do all in our power to see that you are looked upon as you truly are: a gentleman’s daughter.

In this circumstance, being a governess or teacher is not looked upon as critically as a maid.

We must do our best to elevate you to your proper station, and by keeping your reputation intact, we keep the Darcy name, and by extension, the Matlock name, above reproach. ”

Elizabeth could feel a pit starting to form in her stomach.

She took a sip of tea. “If I had known that I would cause difficulty in any way, to Mr Darcy or his family, I would not have accepted his assistance. I have nowhere else to go, Lady Landon, and only agreed with the scheme because I had grown desperate.”

The viscountess reached over and patted Elizabeth’s hand.

“Oh my dear, I do not wish to upset you. I want only to apprise you of the situation, as well as offer my assistance. There is a vast distance between a maid of all work and governess.” She hesitated momentarily and then continued.

“ And an even wider one between governess and mistress of a great house.”

Elizabeth swallowed and sat straighter. The lady wished, clearly but very kindly, to dissuade her from silly dreams. “I have no wish to leap across the chasm. I know my place.”

Lady Landon gave her a bemused smile. “I believe you misunderstand, but I will leave it for now. I dearly wish for you to see me as an ally, Miss Bennet. I count Darcy as more than a relation. He is one of my closest friends, and his friends are my friends.” Setting down her cup, she stood, and swayed slightly.

Elizabeth quickly rose to help her, reaching for her arm.

“I am well. I am with child, but I am well.” She smiled and looked closely at Elizabeth, from her neckline to her hemline. “But we must see to it that you have dresses that are fitted to you and not borrowed.”

“But you realise I have no way to pay–”

“A gift, and furthermore, necessary. Please trust my judgment in these matters. As I said, it is in your best interest, and for all involved. And what young lady does not love the indulgence of a new dress or two!” When the viscountess smiled at her, with all sincerity and friendliness, Elizabeth could feel the knot in her stomach unwind ever so slowly.

She had been thinking on that conversation all afternoon and stood to stretch, before walking outside of the cottage as the sun was setting.

Here, in this corner of the estate, surrounded by fresh air, hills to wander and a tiny cottage garden she could tend to, she felt well and truly grounded for the first time in many years.

Elizabeth breathed out slowly, appreciating a sense of calm she had not felt in a very long time.

She did not have all the answers, and she still felt nervous for what the future may bring.

But here, at this moment, she felt a measure of peace.

And that shall be enough for me. I will be satisfied in this.

The next morning, Elizabeth awoke quite early and took a leisurely stroll in the area around the cottage, taking in the air, the feel of the rising sun on her face.

Looking into the distance, she could barely glimpse the tops of Pemberley’s chimneys through a break in the trees.

She had been on the estate only two days, but even now she could feel the grand edifice becoming a familiar beacon amid the seas of constant turmoil her life had been in.

She took in a deep breath of fresh air and felt grateful to no longer be cleaning chamber-pots at the Pollards’ home in London.

She hoped never to see Lady Pollard’s face again.

She often wondered how the amiable Charles Bingley and his shrewish sister were possibly related.

But enough of that, she scolded herself.

I am here, in Pemberley. Free of her, and with more freedom and purpose than I have had for a very long while.

A familiar and handsome face came to her mind, and she found herself smiling.

She could not help herself. Mr Darcy had been her rescuer in more ways than one.

The thought of seeing him this morning brought a strange form of delight within her, one she knew she ought to guard against strenuously.

But certainly, I may anticipate merely seeing him? As a friend?

The disappointment she felt on seeing, not the man in her thoughts that morning, but his steward, Mr Campbell, dulled her anticipation.

“I am to tell you, ma’am, that Mr Darcy had to leave quite suddenly in the middle of the night.

He has assigned me the task of evaluating the chapel for improvements. I have just come from there?—”

She gasped. “Suddenly? Is all well?”

To his credit, the steward realised Elizabeth’s concern was for Mr Darcy, not the chapel. “Ah, he is well, do not trouble yourself. He entrusted me with this note for you, and I shall let him explain.”

She accepted the sealed note, her hand shaking with trepidation. What had gone wrong?

Dear Miss Bennet,

Please accept my apology for leaving suddenly, and so soon after your arrival at Pemberley. My sister is in her confinement and has had pains, too early for the arrival of her child. As you can imagine, I worry for her and feel I must go and offer what support I can to her and her husband.

I leave you in the hands of Mr Campbell, my steward.

He will escort you to the homes on the estate that have children in need of schooling.

I trust him to assist you. You will also have the assistance of Hannah, who can read and write and help in any way you deem necessary.

Hannah has been with our family since she was quite young.

Georgiana helped her with her letters as she learnt them herself, and she is quite pleased to work alongside you.

I apologise for such an abrupt departure, but Fitzwilliam and I must leave at once. Please go to Mrs Reynolds for anything you need, at any time.

Always ,

FD

She let out the breath she was holding. “When did they leave?”

The steward looked at his watch. “Nigh on five hours ago now. The estate is very near Walton-on-Trent, so I imagine they would just be arriving shortly. As you can imagine, the whole house is in an uproar today, wishing Mrs Bingley well.”

“ Mrs Bingley ?” Elizabeth stiffened a little. “Oh. So, Miss Darcy is married to?—”

“Mr Charles Bingley, yes. They have been married two years now.”

Elizabeth tried not to look as shocked as she felt. It has been more than five years , she reminded herself. It is not so surprising that Mr Bingley is married, and in any case, Jane is too.

The news brought back a flood of memories—of her conversation in Kent with Colonel Fitzwilliam, of Mr Darcy’s interference in Jane and Mr Bingley’s blossoming romance, and the accusation she abruptly laid at Mr Darcy’s door when he had come to call on her with his awkward, scarcely civil, proposal.

Yes, she herself had been wrong about Mr Wickham; Mr Darcy’s letter had detailed his misdeeds, including the shocking way he had wronged Mr Darcy’s young sister.

But she had not been wrong about Mr Darcy persuading his friend to leave Netherfield.

Though he had apologised in his letter, and had explained his reasons for it, she could not help feeling vexed on Jane’s behalf.

What kind of life would Jane have had, if she had been married to Mr Bingley?

Would the Bennet sisters have been so scattered about, as they now were, or would they have had a home to go to?

She shook her head slightly. There is no use going over this again. What is past is past. Jane is happy in her life, is she not?

“Miss Bennet, are you well? Shall I call for some tea?”

Elizabeth, realising she had been lost in memories of the past, shook her head. It no longer signified what had occurred those years ago; only what was here, now, truly mattered.

“No, sir, I think we have a great deal to accomplish and it is likely best we proceed at once.”

It proved a pleasurable morning; first meeting Hannah, and then speaking with the steward regarding the condition of the chapel, as the three rode out to the farms.

“Mr Campbell, will it be much work getting it ready for use as a school?”

“Though the building is an old one, it was made well. So, she’s solid.

The windows will have to be replaced, of course, and it needs a good clean.

The wood mice have made it their home, it would seem.

” He stopped to rub his chin. “Desks and chairs will be needed as well. But I can see it being a right fit place for Pemberley’s children to learn. ”

The idea of teaching in a proper schoolroom was both a compelling and daunting thought for Elizabeth.

During the day, they met with various families on Pemberley land, and what seemed to be dozens of children.

Hannah, though shy at first, was a great help to her.

Pemberley’s families were living in clean homes, though modest. The children she met today, as well as their mothers, were kind, welcoming, and eager to learn more about the new school that would be nearby.

Even in the swaying carriage, Elizabeth, with pencil in hand, was busy writing in her notebook on the way back to the main house, and then to her own cottage.

She found herself buoyed by the opportunities ahead, both for the children, and for herself.

She would put her thoughts and her vigour into planning all that she could do for them, while assiduously keeping her mind from straying to things that could never be.