Page 12 of A Maid of No Consequence (Pride and Prejudice Variation)
TO CONVERSE AND CONDOLE
“ Y ou likely remember how I arrived on foot at Netherfield when Jane fell ill,” she remarked. “I daresay everyone was quite horrified by my country ways in so doing.”
“On the contrary, I was very impressed. I could not imagine how you walked so far, through the muddy fields, and all for your sister.”
He had known then that she was different from most of the ladies of his acquaintance. She may not have had the gowns or the accomplishments of the ladies of the ton , but she had honour, character, and kindness. And she had a fire in her eyes which let him know she was no demure miss.
“It all seems like a very long time ago,” she said before falling reticent, her gaze on the pathway.
He was concerned at her abrupt silence. Had their discussion of life at Longbourn before her loss, caused her pain?
Then she began speaking in a quiet voice.
“You may think I cannot speak of those times…before. There was a time when I could not. But this past year, I have thought of them more and more, without the sting of grief; what life was like, who I was before the change in our circumstances—our daily life at Longbourn, our tenants and neighbours, my walks to Oakham Mount, the silliness and arguments and playful teasing with my parents and sisters, and how our lives were so interwoven with everyone in Meryton. I can think of it now, and it does not cause me nearly as much anguish as it once did.”
Darcy let out a breath he had been holding.
“I am glad of it. And, may I say, I understand how the grief unfolds in a way, to let light in slowly where once there was so much darkness.” He stopped a moment, to decide whether to go on, how much to tell Elizabeth of the grief he had endured.
Their steps slowed, and their path lit up with sunshine, as there were fewer trees at this part of the trail.
Elizabeth stopped and looked up at him. "That is an insightful way to describe it. The loss of your parents is not something you can prepare yourself for, is it?”
The wind came up, and a lock of hair escaped her bonnet and fluttered across her face. As she tucked it behind her ear, Darcy thought her more beautiful than he had ever seen her before.
“No, indeed,” he agreed, “it is a profound grief, and there is depth and darkness, and for a time, an emptiness.”
Both fell quiet. He offered her his arm once again, and they continued slowly towards the meadow.
Darcy decided at that moment to tell her of his first loss.
“I do not often speak of it, but before Georgiana was born, I lost a brother.” He heard Elizabeth breathe in sharply.
“He was two years younger than I. When he was five years old, he became very ill. He did not recover. I had never known loss before. I was inconsolable.”
Elizabeth stopped and looked up at him, laying her other hand on his wrist and squeezing it gently. “I am so sorry.”
Darcy relished the feeling of Elizabeth’s gentle pressure on his arm. “Thank you. I still think of him, and my parents, every day.”
“What was his name?”
“Henry. Henry James Darcy. He was a smart, curious, happy boy.” He looked down and smiled softly to Elizabeth and then looked away. “He was my best friend.”
“Henry.” She said his name gently, and with kindness. “I am glad you spoke of him. While the remembering is difficult, to forget would be much worse. Speaking of those we have lost keeps them alive in our memories.”
Darcy nodded, and led them gently toward the meadow, smiling as the cornflowers came into view.
“I often wonder who he would have grown up to be. I see traits in my sister which remind me of him. I suspect my overprotective nature for Georgiana is partly because of losing Henry.” He wondered whether Elizabeth remembered what he had said about Georgiana in the letter he handed to her at Rosings. If so, she gave no sign of it.
“You and your sister are very close?”
He nodded.
“Does she reside at Pemberley?”
“Not anymore. She married two years ago.” He paused for a moment, wondering how much to tell. “She is happy, and soon to be a mother. ”
“Oh! What joyous news!” Elizabeth looked at Darcy, who said nothing. “Is it not good news?”
“It is. I am only concerned for her.”
“That is quite natural. How can we not worry about those we love?”
Darcy’s heart raced when she said the word ‘love’. From grief to worry to hope, his emotions in these last few minutes were in an upheaval. “On that subject…”
She gave him a quick glance.
“If I had only known of your parents’ deaths and what you and your sisters faced, I would have done all in my power to help you. I presumed you were well...I ought to have worried more about your welfare. I could have prevented Lady Pollard from–”
“Sir, you are in no way responsible for that woman, and her hard heart.”
He breathed out heavily. “Perhaps I was. I spurned her, not directly, but I did not welcome her advances. I was civil to her, without giving her false hope, because her brother is my good friend.”
“I saw the way you treated her. You were a gentleman in every way. Rejecting her advances should not have affected the manner in which she treated me. I do not see how you are to blame at all.”
Quietly he said, “I believe she saw that I treated you differently.”
“Differently?”
“I gave you marked attention in her presence, which may have incited her spiteful behaviour.”
It was Elizabeth’s turn to go quiet. Darcy wondered what she might be thinking .
“Mr Darcy, you are using your power to help me now, and for that I am supremely grateful. What you may or may not have done in respect to that particular lady is not to blame for how she behaved with others. Besides her stepchildren, whom she barely tolerated, Lady Pollard treated everyone in her household abominably. Poor Sarah drew her ire as much as I did, if not more. But more than that, she used my friendship with Sarah to keep me there. She intimated things would get far worse for Sarah if I left. I could not let that happen.”
“Is that why it was important to you that she accompany you to Derbyshire?”
Elizabeth nodded. “Sarah has become something of a younger sister to me. I could not bear to leave her to the mercies of Lady Pollard, for she has none.”
He gave her a small grin. “I admire your forbearance, your resilience, as well as your loyalty to your friend.”
“Sarah means a great deal to me, Mr Darcy. She has helped me far more than I have helped her, far more than she could ever know.” She paused. “May I ask you one more favour?”
“Anything.”
“Please, do keep this between us. It would be best if Sarah did not know. She would never forgive me for enduring the evils of Lady Pollard on her account.”
“As you wish.”
Of course, Darcy realised that if the girl knew Elizabeth at all, she would understand, without a doubt, why her friend had stayed.