Page 9

Chapter Eight

Christian

I’ve been back for a few weeks and somehow, Ghenie and I have worked out a routine that works for us.

When Maribel wakes up at night, I change her before bringing her back to Ghenie along with a glass of water.

In the morning, I’m usually up first and get the day started with tea and breakfast. In the afternoon, Ghenie puts Maribel down for her nap while I head over to Miles’ house so I can visit with him and Druim, and sometimes Timalah if he’s not busy doing things in town or with his brothers-in-arms.

When Ghenie has things to do in town, he often straps Maribel to his chest and brings her with, but sometimes he leaves her home with me.

The first time, I could tell it was a struggle to leave her.

The faith he’s putting in me is humbling.

I still struggle, feeling like I don’t deserve it.

He should just throw me out and be done with me, but I’m thankful he’s decided to keep me around.

I keep wondering when this will blow up in my face. Surely, I’ll fuck this up and hurt him again. I’m a broken man. Yet, for whatever reason, Ghenie always greets me with a smile, like it’s a marvel that I’m actually here with him. Jesus Christ, I’m going to hate myself if I fuck this up.

It’s still so hard to wrap my head around the fact that I have a daughter.

She looks exactly like me with her dark eyes and messy brown hair.

She wrinkles her nose just like me too. Yet her skin is almost as pale as Ghenie’s.

One night. One night of taking a chance and somehow this beautiful person was made.

It barely feels real. Some nights I wake up, convinced this has all been a dream instead of my real life.

“If you think any harder I’m going to start to smell something burning,” Miles says as he sits down beside me on the porch. I shove my shoulder into him.

“Asshole.”

“Takes one to know one.”

I snort, shaking my head at him but gratefully accepting the brown tea he hands me. It’s not the same as coffee but it’s the closest thing they have here. I take a sip, letting the flavor wash over me.

“I am an asshole. I think I always will be.”

“That’s okay. I like that about you,” Miles says, nudging me with his elbow. “You don’t take anyone’s bullshit, you’re not afraid to say what you think. You’re all prickly which means the fact that you let me in makes me pretty goddamn special.”

I hum. “If that’s how you wanna look at it, I ain’t gonna stop you.”

We drink our tea, staring across the road at my house.

There are fields of flowers behind my house which softly sway in the wind.

To our right is a giant stone wall, used to keep monsters away.

When we first moved here, the idea of monsters really freaked me out and that fear doubled when Timalah showed up one day hurt while over there.

Thank Christ that Miles and I were trained in medicine and could help.

That was the day things changed for Miles and Timalah. They stopped dancing around each other and allowed themselves to fall. It took a grand gesture, a serious slap in the face moment.

Is that what I need?

Ghenie and I haven’t sat down and talked about what’s going on between us.

We move around like we’ve been living together for years.

We share soft words, gentle barely there touches, smiles.

We’re coparenting like we’ve been a team since the start.

But that’s all that’s happening. So far, we’ve been keeping emotional distance from each other.

I get it, I really do. Am I even ready to venture into something more?

“So,” Miles says, letting the word stretch out until I groan with annoyance. “What’s going on with you and Ghenie?”

“Nothing,” I say right away, more out of habit than anything else.

“That’s a lie. You two are fucking.”

“We’re really not.”

“You two used to fuck.”

“Still wrong.”

“Jesus, Christian. Give me something to go off? Or should I keep guessing until I figure it out?”

I groan, covering my face with my hand. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

“Nope. I’ve given you space, it’s time for you to spill the tea.” Miles puts his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “How the fuck do you expect me to be here for you when I don’t even know what’s going on?”

“You could just leave me to my misery?” “Can’t do, bestie. Spill.”

If I had a pillow I would press my face against it and scream. So much for just spending a little time with my friend before going back home to start dinner. Now I’m expected to talk about my feelings. It’s practically gag inducing.

“We fucked one time.”

“Really? Just once?”

“Yeah. The night before I left.”

“Oh shit,” Miles says, blowing out a long breath. “That must have been awful for both of you. One night together and then you’re gone.”

“Nah, it was a walk in the park. I’m all about that hump and dump lifestyle.”

Miles slaps the back of my head and I laugh, rubbing the spot he just smacked. “Shut the fuck up, Christian.”

“Okay, okay,” I say, holding up my hand in surrender. “Yes, it was hard. Obviously. It’s still hard and I’m not talking about my dick.”

Miles raises his hand like he might hit me again. He narrows his eyes before placing it in his lap instead.

“What’s going on now? You’re obviously living together. Seems like you’ve worked things out for co-parenting Maribel. Where does that leave the two of you? Are you like together ?”

“Yeah, we’re going steady. I think I’ll be taking him to prom this year.”

Miles smacks me again and yeah, okay. I totally deserved that one. “I swear to god.”

“We’re not together,” I tell him. “We’re settling into a routine.”

“Okay,” Miles says slowly. “And do you want to be together?”

Do I? Do I want to cross that line again? Do I want to do things differently this time, giving him my heart instead of just my body?

I know the answer and it terrifies me.

“Yes,” I say softly, just barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, Miles. I fucking do. Fuck me, right? I’m a mess of a person.

I’m an ass. I don’t let people in, but fuck me, I want Ghenie in every way he’ll let me.

” My mouth snaps shut and my body goes tense.

I turn away from Miles, covering my face with my free hand.

“Can we pretend I didn’t say all that? I will literally pay you. ”

“You babysit for me next time I want a date night and you have a deal.”

“Fine,” I say with a sigh. “Speaking of date night, you and Timalah gonna make me another godbaby?”

“He keeps trying to get me pregnant but it just won’t stick,” Miles says, completely serious. I sputter before letting out a long, hearty laugh. God, I’ve missed Miles so much while I was back on Earth. It’s so good to be back with him.

“I wish I’d never asked.”

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” Miles says, patting my shoulder.

I finish my brown tea and hand the cup over. “I should head back and start dinner.”

“Ghenie will make a houseboy out of you yet.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell before I let someone call me their houseboy,” I say with a grumble, standing up and dusting off my pants. “Love you or whatever. Bye.”

I walk away before Miles can respond. He tries to yell something back but I cover my ears as I walk across the road over to my house. Before I walk inside, I turn around and flip him off for good measure.

The house feels weirdly empty without Ghenie and Maribel here. I thought having the place to myself would leave me feeling peaceful and content, but instead, all I do is miss them, counting the hours until they’ll be back.

I get straight to work making dinner. I put some type of poultry-like meat into the oven to bake and then chop veggies for a salad. It keeps my hands busy but doesn’t do anything to settle my mind.

Thankfully, I don’t have to be lost in my thoughts for too long before Ghenie is walking through the front door, calling out for me as he comes inside.

“In here,” I call back, setting everything down and quickly washing my hands. When I turn around, Ghenie is standing in the doorway. “Hi.”

“Hello,” he says in greeting. He smells the air and smiles. “Smells good in here.”

“It’s nothing,” I say, waving him off. “Where’s my girl?”

“Oh. Umm, about that,” Ghenie says, picking at his fingers. He looks nervous and my stomach turns to stone inside of me. What’s going on? What’s wrong? “She’s with my parents.”

“Okay,” I say slowly. “For how long?”

“Not too long. Just a few hours. She still only eats from my chest so I can’t be away from her too long,” he says quickly. “I just thought…” Ghenie’s words trail off and he looks past me at the wall, biting his bottom lip.

“You just thought?”

“Would you like to go for a walk with me?”

“You want to go for a walk? Right now? With me?”

“Yes. Just a little walk. I thought maybe we could find a nice spot to sit and talk.”

My stomach explodes with nerves. Is this the part where he finally tells me this isn’t working out? Has he grown tired of my presence here? Is he going to tell me he’d rather parent Maribel on his own?

Fuck.

“Christian,” Ghenie says softly, pulling my eyes up to his. “Breathe. It’s just a talk, nothing bad. I promise.”

I can’t find my words so instead, I nod my head. I turn around and turn off the oven. I take the food out of the oven and carefully put everything away so it will still be good when we get back home.

“Okay,” I say, turning back to him. “Let’s go for this walk that’s definitely just a talk and nothing bad.”

Ghenie cracks a smile. “You have always been so suspicious of me,” he says, shaking his head. “I really should not find that charming.”

“You really shouldn’t,” I say in agreement. “It says something about you that you find me charming at all. Your standards are too low, Ghenie.”