Page 5

“Druim!” Miles says in shock. “Sweetheart, toys are for throwing outside, not inside.”

Druim’s tail whips back and forth behind him as he babbles to his dads. “Ball! Outside! Ball!”

I feel like my bell has been properly rung and if I were in a cartoon, little aliens would be swirling around my head. The kid has an arm on him already! I’m so fucking proud.

I get down on the floor so I can properly play with my godson. He’s quick and has far more balance and coordination than I thought someone his age would have already. He’s almost managed to start talking in full sentences instead of just shouting noises at me.

“So,” I say, rolling the ball across the room to Druim. “Who’s the lucky bastard who stole my house?”

Timalah and Miles share another look. They’re hiding something from me. I’m doing my best to be understanding but it’s really starting to piss me off. I’m a grown man. They don’t need to hide shit or try to protect me.

“About that,” Timalah says slowly. “Maybe you should go over there and see for yourself?”

“Is that really the best idea, Timalah? Maybe we should tell him first. Let him get his feelings out now.”

“I hate you both,” I say, standing up. “Not you, Druim, you’re perfect. But you two suck,” I say, pointing at Timalah and Miles. I grab my bags and head for the door. “You’re not gonna tell me so I’ll go find out for myself. Then I’ll head back into town and find a place to stay for the night.”

“Christian, wait.”

“No,” I say, turning back to Miles. “I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll be here if you need me,” Miles calls out as I make my way across the street. Why would I need him? Why are they acting so strange? Why am I so nervous?

I walk up the step to my old porch. After taking a breath, I knock on the door that used to be mine. It feels so strange, being on this side of it. I wait. There’s some shuffling and some voices behind the door.

My stomach starts to sour the longer I wait. I don’t know if I should knock again to make sure they heard me or just leave and head into town. Indecisiveness keeps my feet planted in place. I wait. Just before I can turn to leave, the door swings open.

My breath is stolen from my lungs. The person staying in my house is Ghenie.

My eyes widen as I take him in. My stomach swoops and my chest warms. He’s just as beautiful as I remembered him.

Even though we’ve shared a kiss today, that does nothing to stave my desire for him.

While I was gone, he was never far from my mind.

I still feel all those insecurities when I look at him. He has it all and I’m just me. But now I know a lot of those thoughts aren’t my own, they’re baby Christian’s hurts. I’m worthy of love just as much as anyone else.

“Hello, Christian,” Ghenie says softly, his voice like the sweetest honey dripping straight from the comb.

All I want to do is stand here and memorize everything about him.

His eyes are pale but shine so brightly, his smile is soft.

His skin practically radiates. He’s tall and strong and handsome and I feel so fucking insignificant before him.

How could someone so beautiful give someone like me a second glance?

As my eyes dart over him, they stop on the unexpected person against his chest. Is that a baby? Whose baby? And why do they look human?

The baby looks a few months old at most. They’ve got unruly dark hair on their head that reminds me so much of baby pictures of myself that I’ve seen. I look up at Ghenie who’s staring at me, gauging my reaction.

I think my head might actually explode. First my best friend was being weird. And now Ghenie is being weird. And there’s a baby on his chest.

What the fuck is going on?

I open my mouth but no words come out. I look down at the baby, then back at Ghenie, and then back down at the baby again. My head is spinning faster than a top.

“Christian,” Ghenie says slowly. “This is Maribel. My daughter.”

I swallow thickly, doing my best to keep myself composed. I drop my bags and the clunk of them hitting the ground makes us both flinch.

“Your daughter?”

“Yes,” Ghenie whispers.

“Who’s umm?”

Ghenie’s face morphs into something closed off. He looks terrified of my reaction. That makes my stomach sour. I don’t want to hurt him. I never want to hurt him, not ever again.

“I have been with only one person.”

The pieces are all flying through the air around my head before snapping into place all at once. Oh. Oh my god. Ghenie has only been with one person and that person was me, the night before I left.

Maribel is my daughter.

I have a daughter.

Oh my god, I think I might actually throw up. That’s going to freak Ghenie out. Fuck, keep it in, keep it together. I’m not freaking out. Not at all. Nope. I’m fine. Totally fine.

The inside of my brain feels like the equivalent to a keysmash.

“Are you well? You look pale, Christian.”

“Fine. Totally fine. Just processing.”

“Would you like to come inside?”

“Yes. No. I’m not sure. I think I might throw up. Or pass out. Maybe Druim’s arm is better than I thought and he accidentally knocked me unconscious and I’m actually on the floor in Miles’ house dreaming.”

“You dream of me often?”

“What?”

“You think you’re dreaming about me right now.”

“That’s not… I’m… fucking hell, Ghenie, don’t tease a man while he’s having a crisis!”

I let out a long breath, rubbing my face. I ignore the way my gasps are shaky and shallow. When I finally open my eyes again, Ghenie is still there, watching me carefully.

“I know this must be too much.”

“It’s not too much,” I say right away. “I’m sorry, my reaction is probably shit. It’s a lot, but it’s not too much, Ghenie, I promise.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. Then he takes a step back, opening the door wider for me. All at once, I’m back to a year ago. I’m back to when he let me in, when we gave ourselves to each other fully only for me to leave in the morning before he was awake.

I thought it would be easier that way. It wasn’t. It sucked and we were both left brokenhearted because of my actions.

In that moment, I make a promise to myself that everything will be different now.

We’re both the same people but I can choose a different path.

I can choose Ghenie. I can choose Maribel.

I want this. I want them. I’ve put in the blood, sweat, and tears to change myself, to heal those past hurts that caused me to lash out.

Do I still want to run? Hell fucking yes, I do. Will I? Not this time.

My parents left at every opportunity. Like hell am I going to do the same thing to my child. I’ve known about her existence for like a second and already I know I will devote all of my time and effort to her. I will be better than my parents before me. Nothing could keep me from her.

Stepping inside the house, I look around. Most things are the same but Ghenie has made this place his own while I was gone. Turning towards him, I give him a soft smile.

“It’s really good to be home.”