Page 2

Chapter Two

Christian ~About A Year Ago~

I sit out on my porch, watching as the sun slowly sets. The sky turns a dazzling purple color, reminding me of Gendry’s skin. What is it about this place that makes me all philosophical and shit?

I let out a deep sigh, rubbing tiredly at my eyes. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I leave this planet and don’t look back. I need to find my place in the world and that place doesn’t feel like it’s supposed to be here.

What the fuck does belonging even feel like? How does a person know they’re in the place they’re supposed to be?

This feels like one of those things a parent is supposed to teach you growing up but what would I know about that?

My parents were in and out of my life. Sometimes they’d be gone so long I’d have to go stay with my grandmother.

Other times I crashed at my friends’ houses until their parents started getting concerned.

No matter how much I cried or begged or pleaded for them to stay, they’d always end up leaving.

The pull of their next fix was too strong for them even in the face of their child.

Maybe it’s better this way. I can leave before the one person I trust most leaves me. I can be the one to run away for once. It’ll be a nice change.

It’s my last night here and I’m sitting on my porch all alone.

How fucking sad. I took a chance when I decided to come here and now I’m scared shitless to step outside the box again.

I’m terrified of being burned. I’m terrified of leaning on someone only to have them pull away, leaving me floundering and flat on the ground.

Fuck.

I’m so fucking tired of being terrified. I’m so fucking tired of never letting myself try because I’m terrified of the what if.

It’s my last night here, and I’m ready to take a chance. I’ll be gone tomorrow, leaving this place and these people behind. It’s time for me to say fuck it and admit what I want.

What I want is Ghenie.

The man ticks each and every one of the buttons I didn’t know I had.

He leaves me breathless while also winding me up more than anyone else I’ve ever met.

He’s always in control, always strait-laced, always rising above.

He makes me feel things I don’t want to examine.

I’m jealous of the way he’s put together. I’m intimidated by his presence.

I desperately want to see that resolve crack. I want to see past the curtain, I want to see past the facade he puts on. He’s the leader of his people but past that, surely he’s just a man like everyone else. I want to know what makes him tick, what makes the plastered persona slip away.

Poking at him has become one of my favorite pastimes here and the more he holds firm, the more addicted I am to pushing him. He’s in control but fuck, I want to be the one to make him slip.

Ghenie is a good man, there’s no denying that.

Not only is he beautiful but he’s also kind and generous and just. He knows when to smile but he also knows when to show his displeasure.

All around, I can confidently say that watching him has burned a fire inside my chest. I’m slowly growing obsessed, which is just another reason for me to get the hell out of here.

I can’t be falling for someone! I can’t let them have that type of power over me!

Standing up, I find my feet moving before I’ve even realized I’ve made a conscious decision. I walk down the road towards town, already instinctively knowing where my legs are taking me. There’s only one person I want to spend tonight with and it’s a toss up if he’ll even allow it.

I’m not an idiot. I keep people at arm’s length but I can still see when someone is attracted to me. I’ve caught Ghenie staring at me. I’ve caught the way his eyes light up when I speak with him. I know this attraction isn’t one sided.

Maybe I can have this, just for a night. I can throw away my insecurities, forget the ache in my chest, and enjoy one night with the alien I could see myself falling for. Then in the morning, I’ll go back to being the grumpy asshole everyone expects me to be.

Just for one night, I can be the guy who takes a chance. I can be the guy that finally lets his walls come down and allow someone in.

It’s just one night, what’s the worst that could happen?

The sun has set by the time I find myself at Ghenie’s door. I stare at it for a long moment, wondering if I’m actually doing this. Am I actually going to put myself out there? Am I really going to throw myself at the alien I can’t stop antagonizing, hoping he’ll look past that just for tonight?

Fuck it. I’m doing this.

I knock on Ghenie’s door. My heart leaps into my throat and nerves threaten to get the better of me. I only have to wait a moment before the door is opening and I get to see Ghenie in all his splendor.

“Oh,” Ghenie breathes out, his eyes widening before going soft. “Christian? Is everything alright?”

His voice washes over me. Now that I’ve opened myself up, it feels like I’m seeing him for the first time.

He’s beautiful in every way. My chest aches with how much I wish things were different, wishing that I was a different man, one who could love fully instead of always keeping that part of myself locked away.

“I’m okay,” I say, my eyes running over him. My eyes meet his and I’m praying they don’t reflect the desperation I’m feeling inside. The way his face morphs tells me that’s exactly what he’s seeing. Fuck.

“Christian,” Ghenie says slowly, his hand gripping the door frame. “Why are you here?”

I lick my lips and swallow around the lump in my throat. My heart is racking the inside of my ribs. I don’t know what to say so I stick with the truth. “You. I’m here for you.”

Ghenie freezes and I wait, holding my breath. He puts a hand on his temple and closes his eyes. It looks like he’s debating with himself. Or maybe he’s debating with the voices inside his head.

“Maybe this was a mistake,” I say softly when Ghenie doesn’t respond. I turn to leave only to freeze as a hand reaches out and grips my wrist. I turn back slowly.

“It was not a mistake,” Ghenie says. He doesn’t let go of my wrist, instead, his thumb rubs over my pulse point. “You are leaving tomorrow?”

“Yes,” I breathe out, just barely above a whisper.

“Then tonight is all we have.”

“Yes,” I say again.

My stomach swoops at the look Ghenie gives me. His pale eyes look me over before he’s taking a step back, opening the door for me fully. He closes the door behind me and the click of the door shutting sends a shiver down my spine.

I don’t even have time to turn towards Ghenie before he’s shoving me back against the door, crowding against me.

“I am terrified that this is a mistake,” he says, his voice going deeper, huskier than I’ve ever heard before. “But I also do not care. If tonight is all you will give me, then that is what I will have. For tonight, I am yours.”

I close my eyes as Ghenie ducks down, placing his lips against my own. My arms go around him, holding him like the lifeline he is. One kiss and I am swept away. One kiss and my life is changed forever.