Page 41 of A Dye Hard Holiday

“Baby, I’m sorry,” Josh said softly. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just pissed off.”

His tenderness mollified my thundering heart a little bit, but I wasn’t ready to forgive him yet. “What happened?”

“The Christmas Bandits hit the salon last night,” he said. “Christmas lights cut and the pretty wreaths my mom made twenty years ago were stolen.”

“All of them?” I asked.

“Yes!”

Bertie had made enough wreaths to decorate the entire wraparound porch on the salon. Each wreath had a pair of white ice skates in the center and were adorned with white lights and red bows. Josh inspected each pair of skates to make sure they were a pristine white before Bill and I strategically hung them around the porch. “Every third post,” Josh had reminded me. “Hang them too close and they just look tacky. The Roman-Wyatts don’t do tacky decorations.” I knew they meant a lot to him because he even kept a bottle of white shoe polish handy to touch up the skates when needed.

“What kind of monster does this, Gabe? Those wreaths have hung on that porch longer than I’ve been alive!”

“I’ll get your wreaths back, Sunshine. I promise.”

“Damn straight you will, Captain Kick Ass. In the meantime, I’m going to call a few of the local business owners to see if they’ll join me in offering a reward for the capture of the Christmas Bandits.”

“Great idea,” I told him. “Let me know what they say, and I’ll announce it in the local newspaper.”

“I’ll offer up a thousand-dollar reward by myself if I need to; I want my wreaths back.”

“You arrange for the funds, and I’ll take care of the rest. We’ll get them back.”

“We make a great team.” I heard the smile in Josh’s voice.

I suspected he was remembering the activities from the previous evening. I needed an outlet for my frustration and Josh provided the perfect distraction with his naughty secret Santa countdown thingy. I think I surprised us both when I chose to wear the silky red mask and submit myself to Josh and the soft, red feather.

“In all things, Sunshine.” I heard Adrian clear his throat and Wen chuckle, which meant that either my voice or expression hinted to where my mind had gone. “Adrian and Wen are in my office and they think we’re having phone sex instead of discussing a heinous crime committed against you. I’m going to send Wen over there to take a statement and photograph the crime scene so that you can file an official report. I can’t look like I’m playing favorites.”

Wen grinned and shook his head. “On it, Cap.”

“Adrian gets to compile the data from all the reported crimes into a program, so we can determine peak times or even days of the week. The slightest similarity could bust the case wide open.”

Adrian sighed heavily, but followed Wen out the door without complaint.

“Are you alone now?” Josh whispered into the phone.

My brain and dick perked up. “Yes. What did you have in mind?”

“Just you wait and see what I have in store for us tonight.”

“Do you remember how everyone cautioned us not to go overboard with holidays and birthdays for our kids because they’d come to expect it and we’d put pressure on ourselves to keep outdoing the previous years?” I asked Josh.

“Yes.” I knew Josh had zero intention of listening to that particular piece of advice. We would do things our way and to hell with what people thought.

“That logic doesn’t apply here, Sunshine. I’m going to need you to step this up each year from now on.”

“I accept that challenge, Gabe.” I heard Dare calling for Josh in the background. “My client is here, so I have to go. I’ll call you in a bit after I’ve had a chance to drum up support for the reward money. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

After I disconnected the call with Josh, I went in search of Adrian. I was half-joking when I mentioned the program because I wanted to razz him, but it gave me another idea.

“It’s time to go John McClane on these fuckers!” I told Adrian.

“What brings you by the newspaper, Captain?” Myrna Evans asked me a few hours later.

The first time I’d met her, Billy Sampson had dropped off an anonymous letter informing the Blissville Daily News that the police department wasn’t treating his threats against Josh seriously. That seemed like decades ago, but in reality, not even two years had passed since then.