Page 34 of A Dye Hard Holiday

“That was the goal of the design. Individually, our lives are fragile and delicate, but when you connect with your soulmate, you form something intricately stronger that continues to grow and sustains life.”

“You drew this?” Gabe asked in awe.

“I sure did.”

“I want one too,” he said. “Right over my heart like yours.”

“I was kind of hoping you’d say that. Part two of your surprise is that I made you an appointment for tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait.” Gabe rubbed his hands together gleefully. “First, Dylan and Destiny have their first Christmas parade.” A smile slowly stretched across his face. “What are you dressing them as?”

“What makes you think I’m dressing them up? It’s cold outside so no one would be able to see their cutesy little outfits,ifI picked some out.”

“I know you better than I know myself. You have something adorable planned for pictures for the parade. So, what is it?”

“Knitted reindeer sweaters that are lined with faux fur and hats with little antlers sewn at the top. I planned on painting their little noses red likeRudolph.”

“That comes on tonight! Don’t let me forget to record it.”

I patted Gabe’s chest. “I already took care of it when you made that crazy master list.”

“Yeah, well my favorite comes on Friday night.”

“Die Hardis not a Christmas movie, Gabe.”

“Sure, it is,” he argued. “It’s the best Christmas movie ever. Shit gets blown up, terrorists get killed, and Badass Bruce saves the day. You don’t get any more Christmas-y than that.”

“Did you take that quote straight from his fan club?” I questioned as I put my shirt back on.

“What movie is a better Christmas movie thanDie Hard?”

“Where do I begin?” I rolled my eyes dramatically. “It’s a Wonderful Life,Home Alone…”

“WhichHome Alone?” Gabe asked seriously.

“The first one, of course, even though the second one was good too.”

“I thinkHome Aloneis a close second toDie Hard,” Gabe admitted. “You know, we could create a holiday movie of our own?” He waggled his brows suggestively. “A fun titlecomesimmediately to mind.”

“And that would be?”

“It’s a Wonderful Hard-On starring Captain Cock and Jizzy Josh.” Gabe looked so proud of his suggestion.

“I… can’t with you right now,” I said once I stopped laughing. “That’s one video we won’t be filming this year.”

“What happened to that oozing Christmas spirit from earlier?”

“Not on film, baby.”

“Okay, fine.”

“What aboutChristmas Vacation?” I asked my husband, pulling us back to safer topics. “You’re one rogue squirrel and a crazy sled ride away from bringing that movie to life. Are you waiting on a bonus so you can buy us a swimming pool? Which one of our friends is cousin Eddie? It’s Dorchester!” I realized that Gabe stopped sparring with me. “That expression is new, Gabe. What does it mean?”

“What expression?”

I wasn’t falling for his dumb act. I replayed everything I said up to the part where he stopped talking. “Oh my God! We’re getting a swimming pool!” I knew I had guessed right when he glared at me. I bounced up and down, mentally planning all the fun swim trunks I could wear, or skinny dipping with him in the moonlight after the babies fell asleep. “We’re going to need a privacy fence.”

“Already included in the budget.” I saw the heat in his eyes and knew his mind had gone to the same place as mine.