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CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“ Y ou are being ridiculous,” Julian said.

“And you are being cruel,” Anna rebutted, without hesitation.

“This isn’t some piece of land we’re talking about or an heirloom!

It is a child. A living breathing being, and you are simply going to toss him aside, without knowing for certain if he is in good hands or not.

That is not right. Surely you must know that. ”

The air in the carriage had been tense since they embarked on the journey to return to their estate, both of them seemingly seething with their anger.

Julian thought Anna was being ridiculous, expecting that she would feel relieved that finally, they were close to getting Nicholas where he belonged.

Anna felt differently, even more, concerned about the child’s wellness than she had when she had found him, unable to reconcile the image of the man who had talked with Nicholas until he had fallen asleep with the man before her who seemingly wanted nothing more than to do away with him as soon as possible.

She had hoped they would simply table the conversation for the night, but Julian had followed her after they arrived home, seemingly determined to assert his stance on the matter.

“He will be all right. Seth has lived far too carelessly for most of his life. Nicholas will finally be a good reason for him to adopt a healthier way of living. My brother won't have a choice but to do what is right.” Julian pointed out with an exasperated groan. “This is what is best –”

“For whom? Because it certainly isn’t what’s best for Nicholas.

You said your brother was unreliable. And somehow, you still believe that it would be ideal to give that sweet little child to him – with no guarantee that your hopes of Seth taking the high road to better himself will come to fruition, enough to take care of him properly.

You want Nicholas off your hands, without any concern for what will happen to him afterwards, and that is not fair –”

“He is not my responsibility!” Julian snapped angrily, just as Anna started to turn down the hallway that led to her bedroom.

Slowly, Anna turned back and stared right at him, her gaze unwavering as she said,

“Our marriage was your responsibility then. But you also abandoned it. You abandoned me, and you wish to do the same to Nicholas.”

With an air of finality, she walked away from him.

Julian knew it was probably best to let her go.

Her arguments wouldn’t change the outcome or alter the fact that Nicholas had a place to be, and it wasn’t with them.

But something in him was irked by the fact that she believed he had sought to avoid his responsibilities in their marriage — his responsibilities to her, and he couldn’t let her nurse such a notion.

So he went after her, managing to catch her as she grabbed hold of the doorknob, pulling her back and cornering her against a wall.

“What on earth —”

Julian placed his hands on either side of her head, effectively trapping her as he stated firmly,

“Can you really not see it? That I left for a good reason? I did it to protect you!”

Angrily, Anna raised her voice, frustrated to her wit's end.

“Protect me from who?”

“From me!”

His response clearly caught her off guard, because she stumbled over her words and then fell silent, both of them staring at each other as the sound of their breathing echoed around them.

Then Anna’s expression crumbled and she stepped back, a strangled noise that sounded like a grunt and a groan leaving her lips.

“I am tired of this,” she exhaled, staring at him intently.

“I am truly so sick of this. Of people believing that they know what’s best for me and making decisions on my behalf.

You cannot decide how I feel, and you cannot decide whether or not I should be protected from some unforeseen danger that only you have deemed a risk for me.

You didn’t — you never even tried to ask what I wanted.

If you had, you’d know there was only one thing I needed or wanted to ask of you. I just wanted you to stay, Julian.”

It was the first time she had said his name. The sound of it made his heart shake in his chest and he felt a wave of dissatisfaction settle within himself.

Never in his life had he felt so restricted before, so incapable of doing what was needed. Because he knew Anna needed reassurance. He could hear her clearly asking him to stay, and he knew her anger stemmed from his inability to give her what she wanted.

So instead, he gave her what he could, pressing her against the wall and claiming her lips in a deep kiss.

Anna tried to push him back for a moment but he simply pinned her hands above her head with one of his, the other hand curling around her chin to keep her head tilted just right for their lips to meet.

It didn’t take long for her to melt against him, her lips parting to accept his tongue and he could taste the wine she had taken little sips of at the ball, and soon he felt drunk with need.

This stubborn woman was determined to claim his sanity and self-respect, pushing at him until he was dancing to her tune. And Julian was slowly starting to realize he did not care what he had to do, what he needed to endure, not if it meant he could hold her like this.

Anna pressed against him as much as she could with her hands restrained, making the prettiest sounds as he trailed open-mouthed kisses down her neck to her bosom. She whined and shivered as he put his legs between hers, his hand running down her back to cup her buttock.

When he pulled away, hoping that the air that rushed into his lungs would give him some clarity and strength, the look of his wife withered all hope he had to gain some form of control.

He had barely touched her, and yet, she looked debauched, absolutely flushed and breathless, her tongue darting out to wet her swollen lower lip.

She looked as though she were on her way to being ruined and it was not enough for Julian.

With a grunt, he reached for the knob of her bedroom door, opening it quickly and pulling her into the room.

The moment the door shut behind them, he was on her again, running his hands over her body, kissing those stubborn lips that never hesitated to rapidly spew their objections against him.

Julian felt angry and ravenous and he knew the only thing that would satisfy him was her.

He let his desire lead him, deepening the kisses they shared as he tightened his grip on her, wanting to ingrain the warmth of her skin deep within him.

Anna had lost her defiant edge and was reciprocating his advances, her hands clinging to the lapel of his jacket as he pressed her against a wall again, moaning into his mouth as he pulled up her skirt and ran a hand up her thigh.

The weight of their argument still hung above them, but instead of causing friction between them, it pushed them further, both of them led by the need that was growing between them.

“Off – I need it all off of you,” Julian grumbled, tugging at her skirts. “I want to see you properly.”

“Is this all you like to do? Make demands?” Anna huffed, clearly trying to irk him.

Julian did not mind playing into her hands, as long as it would get him what he wanted.

So he wordlessly turned her to face the wall, then he began to undo the clasps of her dress, latching his lips to her neck leaving kisses and little bites on her skin as he worked.

Anna arched into him, obediently staying in place so he could tug the dress, down her body, past her hips to pool at her feet.

Her corset came off next and the moment it had been tossed aside, he grabbed at her bosom with both hands, pulled her flush against him, and sank his teeth harshly into her neck.

She gasped and wriggled around, only to fall still as his hand came down on her behind, the thin material of her chemise barely protecting her from the sharp, stinging pain.

“I am not going to give you any warnings tonight. If you misbehave, you will be punished. Do you understand?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Anna silently nodded, a yelp of fright slipping out of her as Julian hauled her onto the bed, barely able to gather her bearings before he demanded with his hand on her face, his touch practically melting her insides.

“Words, Anna. I need you to tell me that you understand what I am saying.”

His gaze was heavy, carrying a weight Anna had never seen before. It promised that she would be ruined in ways she did not expect, but would certainly enjoy.

“I understand, husband,” Anna assured softly, unable to ignore the yearning pull within her gut.

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Julian was on her, kissing, biting, sucking on her skin, his hands tugging away her chemise and wasting no time caressing the smooth, soft planes of her skin.

Anna wriggled beneath him, wanting more of everything he gave and had to give as the moments passed.

He clearly wanted things on his own terms, because when she reached for him, he caught hold of her hands and held them firmly in the grip of one hand, using the other to pull off the cravat around his neck.

His movements were quick and before she knew it, her wrists had been bound.

He pushed her tied hands above her head and sat back on his knees, silently letting his gaze roam over her body as he took off his coat and shirt.

Anna tried not to squirm, her eyes trained on the ripples of his muscles, his skin glinting beneath the soft glow of the light and she was, not for the first time captivated by how handsome her husband was.

The strength he possessed was evident in the width of his shoulders, and in the careful way he handled her, even when his movements were rough.