Page 26

The Solution was Simple

N ikhail was here.

River hadn’t consciously sought him out.

In fact, she’d told herself not to look for him, that doing so would be silly.

It turned out that her eyes were just as disloyal as her body had been in the hospital, because they’d found him the moment she’d walked into the ballroom holding her brother’s arm.

Gods above, the air fae cleaned up well.

That was saying a lot, since Nikhail Galebringer always looked refined.

His midnight tuxedo was form-fitting and dapper, which she’d come to expect from the handsome man.

His black hair was swept away from his temples, and he was clean-shaven for the occasion.

The strong lines of his jaw were visible from across the ballroom.

His fingers were curled around a glass of wine, and her wrist throbbed, remembering when he’d held her like that.

And his eyes…

Those amber orbs were glued on her.

Time seemed to freeze as she stared at the air fae who had been occupying her thoughts nonstop over the past two months.

Nikhail was drinking her in, and gods help her, but being the center of his attention was unlike anything else she had ever felt. It brought her a sense of peace, but it also had her wishing she was anywhere but here.

The peace was good. For the first time since Nikhail had left the hospital all those weeks ago, River felt like she could breathe properly.

The storm that was perpetually present in her veins quieted at the sight of him, and the knot that had twisted around her heart when she’d come through the iron gates of Waterborn House yesterday unraveled.

That was good. It felt right in a way that nothing else did. At any other time, River would’ve reveled in the feeling.

But not today.

Today, she wouldn’t be reveling in anything. She had a plan, and even though she hated it, even though the very thought of it pained her, she needed to see it through.

Looking at Nikhail, thinking about him, and even dreaming about him wasn’t fair to either of them.

Over the past few weeks, River had reached a devastating, heart-wrenching conclusion.

She’d cried herself to sleep every single night since she’d come to the decision.

Ember had tried telling her that she was making the wrong choice, that there had to be another way, but in her heart of hearts, River knew she was doing the right thing.

The thing that Ember didn’t understand—that no one really understood—was that River was the Cursed One. Dangerous tempests resided in her veins, and death was just a flick of her fingers away.

She’d been reminded of this on the night of her storm, and again, when Nikhail had been shot .

Even though River was drawn to Nikhail, even though every single part of her wanted to get close to him, she couldn’t give in to those desires. The feeling within her, the one pulling her towards him, was just that: a feeling.

That’s all it could ever be. She would never allow it to grow, never allow it to blossom into something more. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Nikhail. If anything, she cared about him far more than she should.

The problem was that the Incident had been the worst night of River’s entire life. Ever since her storm two months ago, it kept playing on repeat in her mind. The nightmares had only increased after Nikhail got shot, and most nights, the screams of the dying were so loud that she barely slept.

She’d stopped trying to shut out the nightmares, though. They were a sign. A reminder of her fate. A harbinger of what could happen if she lost control again.

River was the Cursed One, and she would always be alone. She couldn’t risk opening her heart to anyone, couldn’t fall in love, because she was ill-fated and doomed to be a bringer of death and darkness. Caring for her—loving her—was a burden she refused to put on anyone.

No, over the past few weeks, River had come to the awful realization that she had to steel her heart against Nikhail. It was for his own good.

River had told Eliza as much when they met last week. Her therapist had told her that this wasn’t a healthy mindset, but even though River respected the other woman, she knew Eliza Fern was wrong.

Falling in love was something that normal, uncursed people got to do. River could not do it—she wouldn’t allow herself to open up like that. The dangers were too great. What if she lost control? What if the curse slipped past her magic, and she hurt the one she loved most?

The thought was like being dunked into the Black Sea on a bitter winter night. She shivered as a mental image of Nikhail’s lifeless, cold body floating in waters of her own making passed through her mind. His skin was pale, his lips were blue, and his empty eyes stared at the sky.

Worse .

It seemed inconceivable, but that would be worse than everything else River had already done. She’d killed an entire village when she was fifteen, but she hadn’t known them. Not really.

It wasn’t that River didn’t care about the deaths she’d caused.

Gods above, she cared so fucking much that sometimes, she could barely breathe as the horror of what she’d done, the destruction she’d wrought, settled upon her.

Even though nearly a decade had passed since the Incident, she carried the weight of every single life she’d taken on her shoulders. She would never forget them.

The Incident had nearly broken River, threatening to shatter her psyche into a million pieces. Ryker had been the glue keeping her together, making sure she wasn’t irrevocably broken.

That night had been the source of River’s nightmares for years, but hurting someone she loved would be a thousand times worse. If her curse took someone she cared about from her, she’d never recover.

Seeing Nikhail in the hospital bed and watching him bleed out had been one of the worst moments of River’s life, and she hadn’t even caused his injuries.

But if she did hurt him, if he—gods forbid—died because of her …

Sands save her.

River would be a shell of herself, nothing more. She’d be unable to care for her father or anyone else. If she were broken, she wouldn’t be able to save anyone or atone for her sins.

She’d be a traumatized, broken mess.

The solution was simple, really. It probably would’ve been laughable if it hadn’t been so devastatingly awful and heartbreaking.

If River never loved Nikhail, if she never let him into her heart, her curse wouldn’t touch him. He’d be safe from her, and he would remain unbroken. He would be better off if she stayed away from him, if he never got close enough to be affected by her storm.

River was doomed to live in darkness, and Nikhail was full of life. He didn’t deserve to be tainted by her curse.

Which was why, as time unfroze, River drew steel walls up around her heart and hardened them. She would keep Nikhail at arm’s length if it were the last thing she ever did.

“Ready, Shortie?” Ryker murmured beside her.

Before they entered the ballroom, Ryker and Brynleigh had pulled River aside. The couple was planning on having a bonding ceremony next month, they told her with matching grins on their faces, and they were going to throw a big celebration.

Mating bonds were historically reserved for fae couples, but Ryker insisted that from the first moment he laid eyes on his wife, he’d known she was meant to be his. This would make their soul connection official.

River’s heart had swelled, and she’d hugged them both. Her brother and sister-in-law deserved the entire world, and she couldn’t wait to witness their bonding ceremony and celebrate with them .

At the same time, she’d felt a pang of sadness. Their bond, along with their happiness, were reminders of everything her curse had taken and would continue to take from her.

Ryker was waiting for her response, and she knew that the time to enact her plan had come. In truth, she wasn’t, nor would she ever be, ready. But it was too late for that. They were here, and they couldn’t stand in the doorway forever.

She didn’t trust herself to speak, so instead, she nodded. After murmuring something low to Brynleigh, Ryker started moving towards Nikhail. River kept pace with them, adding layers of steel around her heart.

Much like the dam keeping her curse at bay, she vowed never to let anything breach these walls. They would remain unbreakable, a necessary barrier against the handsome air fae who threatened to tear down all her defenses and make her love him. She couldn’t do that, couldn’t risk it.

River held on to Ryker’s arm, reinforcing her barricades with every step. Her dress swished, and her heels clicked, but she barely heard them as she concentrated on safeguarding her heart.

Be strong , she told herself. You’re doing this to shield Nikhail from the pain and devastation you cause.

She kept running encouragements through her mind, kept strengthening those walls, until Ryker brought them to a stop in front of Nikhail. The air fae’s scent swirled around her, but she remained strong. She could do this.

Ryker and Brynleigh greeted their friend while River stood by, studying the floor. The tiles were polished, and her reflection shone back at her.

She was strong. She was steel.

She could do this.