Page 20

A Gift and a Train Ride

N ikhail Galebringer was many things, but indecisive wasn’t one of them.

Or at least, that’s what he would’ve told anyone who asked him before today. Now, though, he wasn’t sure that would be a fair assessment.

He was supposed to be working, combing through his team’s reports on the Black Night’s various activities in the Eastern Region. He had to compile them for General Whitecliff, ranking them in order of most to least troublesome so they could be addressed and taken care of.

Instead, he was trying to decide which gift to bring to Golden City tonight. This was definitely not an approved use of his time.

Two small black boxes, one slightly larger than the other, rested on top of his closed laptop. In a manner that was truly unlike him, he’d spent the better part of his morning ignoring his work and staring at the gifts.

This should be an easy task: pick a present, wrap it up, call it a day .

The problem was that no matter how long he spent staring at them, he couldn’t seem to pick. Choosing felt impossible.

It wasn’t that the gifts weren’t good or that he didn’t like them. In truth, he was fairly certain the intended recipient would adore either of them.

The problem was, one gift said, Thank you for saving my life. I value your friendship, while the other…

The other crossed boundaries. It wasn’t a gift that a friend gave another friend. It was more . If he gave this to her, it would say things that he’d kept under wraps for years.

I want you. My soul yearns for you. Will you be mine?

“Fuck,” he groaned.

Nikhail raked his hands through his hair, his usually perfectly put-together appearance a mess. His gaze was locked on the smaller box.

He hadn’t even sought it out. He’d been shopping in Upper Lakeside Mall for Winter Solstice gifts for his sisters when a display caught his eye. It had called to him, demanding that he purchase it.

For her.

Even as Nikhail had been paying for the gift, he’d tried to remind himself that this was a bad idea. He couldn’t have her. He came from a different background, and he couldn’t give her the life she deserved.

The problem was that the reasons that used to keep him from River were no longer crystal clear. They were getting foggier by the day.

Ever since he left the hospital a few weeks ago, River had been present in his dreams. Without fail, she was there every single time he closed his eyes.

His fingers ached with the ghost of her touch, every single fantasy he had revolved around her, and his air magic yearned to dance with her storm once again .

It wasn’t that the barriers between them no longer existed. It was just that they no longer seemed insurmountable. At least, not to him.

He didn’t know what River thought about all this because he hadn’t seen or spoken to her since he left the hospital. He jumped every time his phone vibrated, but the messages were never from her. He’d typed a dozen texts, but he hadn’t sent a single one.

It rarely happened to him, but he didn’t know how to navigate this situation.

Hence, the two gifts.

He opened the larger box. Twelve handmade chocolates were nestled in the box, looking delicious. Nikhail knew from past experience that River had a sweet tooth, and this gift would go over well.

But the problem was, it felt impersonal. Detached. Good, but not great.

Replacing the lid, he picked up the smaller gift. This one fit in the palm of his hand, and it was light.

Before he could open it, a knock came from the door. Nysa Catheen, his assistant, stood on the other side of the door.

Nikhail had never been a fan of glass doors and walls in offices—had the architects never heard of privacy?—but it wasn’t like he had any say in the building’s design.

The lack of privacy in the office was the main reason Nikhail worked from home as much as possible.

Thank the gods, since he didn’t do much field work these days, he was able to complete most of his tasks from the townhouse on his secure computer.

There were benefits to working in the military’s intelligence sector, and that was one of them.

“Come in, Nysa,” he called out.

Tiny heels clicked as she entered. An older human with a white shoulder-length bob and round glasses, Nysa had a grandmotherly air about her.

Her smart navy suit matched the long-sleeve cream blouse buttoned all the way up to her neck, where a string of pearls rested.

He’d never seen her without the necklace.

“General Whitecliff called, sir.” She pulled a blue sticky note off her clipboard, holding it out for him to take. “She said to remind you she needs the update before you leave for Golden City tonight.”

Nikhail’s lips kicked up into an amused smile as he took the note, sticking it on top of his closed laptop. He had a collection of notes just like this in his wastebasket.

Most assistants sent everything by email, but not Nysa. She was as old-school as they came. When Nikhail worked from home, she insisted on calling him twice a day and personally updating him with everything that had gone on in the office.

“Understood.” He made a mental note to do that before his train’s departure in two hours.

“Very good, sir.” Nysa smiled kindly, but she made no move to leave. “You’ll be gone until the middle of next week, correct?”

“That’s right. I have a meeting after the weekend with the Council of Representatives in the capital, and I’ll be heading back that night.”

“Excellent.” Nysa jotted a note, but rather than leaving, she stepped closer to his desk. Her shrewd gaze landed on the two boxes, and her fingers twitched along the back of her clipboard. “I know it’s not exactly my place, sir…”

“As if that’s ever stopped you before,” Nikhail teased with a smile. He gestured to one of the two chairs on the other side of his desk. “Go ahead, ask.”

Nysa was what Calina, Nikhail’s mother, liked to call “ nosy, but nice.” She asked far too many questions for what would be considered an appropriate workplace relationship, but she managed to do so in a way that felt less intrusive and more caring.

Besides, Nysa was incredible at her job. She practically knew what Nikhail needed before he did, so he allowed her this familiarity. She tucked her clipboard against her side and sat primly.

“I was just wondering if you were seeing anyone special, sir?” Nysa looked pointedly at the gifts. “I couldn’t help but notice that there haven’t been any dates in your calendar lately.”

Lovely, captivating eyes, long locks of chestnut hair, and the fresh scent of rain flashed through Nikhail’s mind.

“I’m not exactly seeing someone,” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully in the fae way that had been ingrained in him since childhood. Fae couldn’t lie, but as a whole, they were selective about how they used their words. “But I’m taking a break from dating.”

He hadn’t been out with anyone, let alone been tempted to open a dating app, since River’s storm two months ago.

“Interesting.” Nysa tilted her head, tapping her manicured nail on the desk. “So, these are…”

His cheeks heated, and gods, that was a strange sensation. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d blushed. He felt like a young teenager all over again.

“Well, there is someone.” It felt good to say it out loud, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what was between him and River. He could breathe more easily, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest.

Nysa grinned like a cat who just got the cream, and she leaned forward, jiggling her knee. “I knew it,” she said jubilantly.

“Well, I’m afraid it’s not that exciting.” He rubbed his chin, frowning at the gifts. “I’m not sure what we are. It’s… complicated.”

That felt like an understatement, if he was being honest.

“Oh?”

He traced the smaller of the boxes, studying the black velvet as if it contained the secrets of the world. “She’s my best friend’s sister.”

Nikhail wasn’t sure why he was sharing this with Nysa, but it felt good to talk about the turmoil that had been plaguing him for months.

“I see.” She hummed in the back of her throat, leaning back in her chair. “That does complicate matters, doesn’t it?” She studied the boxes, then lifted her gaze to Nikhail. “I take it her brother wouldn’t approve?”

A dry chuckle burst out of Nikhail. “To say he would be displeased would be significantly downplaying things.”

Ryker had already warned Nikhail away from his sister. The fae captain was a good man, a great soldier, and a fantastic friend, but more than all that, he was an extremely protective brother.

Not that Nikhail blamed him. If River were his, he would be protective of her, too. He wouldn’t let anyone touch her, let alone look at her.

“Is that the only problem?” Nysa asked.

“No, there are others.”

Their ages, for one. Nikhail was fourteen years older than River.

If they had already lived for centuries, the age gap wouldn’t be a problem.

For the gods’ sake, there were much larger age gaps in their country’s history.

The King of Darkness was several hundred years older than the Sunwalking Queen.

The High Lady of Life was nearly a century younger than her bonded mate.

But River was young. She had so much life yet to live, and Nikhail couldn’t imagine that she would want to spend it with him.

Even if their ages weren’t an issue, there was another, bigger barrier that had stopped him from claiming River as his long ago. In his heart of hearts, he knew that he could never give her the life she deserved.

He ran his fingers over his cufflinks, remembering how much he saved for them.

Nikhail hailed from a lower middle-class family in the Southern Region, and even though he was paid well for his work, he wasn’t a Representative.

He prided himself on the way he dressed, but every item that he’d added to his wardrobe had been put there with extreme care.

Each had been a careful consideration of budget versus fashion.