Page 64 of Where Darkness Falls

Do I want to do this?

No, but it is the right thing to do.

Virgil slowly rises. “If you’d prefer that I leave you alone?—”

“No,” I interrupt, panic lacing my tone as I latch onto his arm like it’s my only lifeline, keeping me from sinking further into despair. “Please stay. I wouldn’t have asked you to be here if I thought you’d make this uncomfortable.”

His gaze travels from my touch to my face. My eyes are pleading with this Galrosan I barely know to stay and be my anchor. Perhaps it’s his kindness and compassion that comforts me. Or perhaps it’s when I examine the scars across his face, I see myself in them—even if his scars are more physical instead of emotional. Maybe it’s the look in his eye that makes me feel like he understands. At this moment, Virgil is the closest thing I have to an ally, and I think he wants to be here for me.

Slowly, Virgil sits down in the chair that’s definitely too small for his frame. He places his other hand atop mine, patting it softly. “If at any moment this is too much for you, I will call for Emyr to escort him away,” he whispers.

Emyr…

Is that the High General’s name?

It must be, since I know the other cadre members’ names.

Emyr. I like the sound of it.

It’s a dashing name,Saoirse interrupts.

Virgil clears his throat. “Does that arrangementplease you?” he asks.

I nod.

With a small squeeze, he releases my hand. I sit up straighter, molding my face into one not riddled with emotions. I can’t fall apart again as I face Gawain. Otherwise, I’ll never make it through this conversation.

“Well,” Gawain says, growing impatient with my silence.

“I’m sorry, Gawain. I don’t know where to begin,” I say, sheepishly.

“The beginning is always a great place to start,” he snaps.

“You better watch how you speak to her,” Virgil snarls.

I’m not sure if it’s Virgil’s tone or threat, but something about it causes Gawain to shrink back a step. “My apologies,” he says, “but I need to know exactly what happened, and she seems to have a hard time with even stringing together a single sentence.”

“For that, I am sorry,” I reply. “What I’m going to tell you is difficult, and I’m trying to find the courage to say it.”

I swallow thickly.

“Have you heard of the strange phenomenon that occurred in Aurelius a little over a week ago?” I ask.

Gawain nods. “Bits and pieces of it. Rumors claim a woman channeling starlight murdered the entire soldier regime within the village. Others claim she murdered her entire family,” he replies.

“Well, a part of that rumor is true,” I say with a slight pause. “I did kill the soldiers in Aurelius, but only after they murdered my entire family. Th-They killed them because of me.”

Gawain’s features twist into both shock and horror.

“Because of you? What could you have possibly done? You don’t even have an ability or signet tattoo, Maeva. Do you truly expect me to believe that you,” he pauses as his gaze roams over my body, “could murder an entire force of stationed soldiers?”

I wince. “Well, I’ve recently discovered that I wield the starlight. I-I cannot explain why I don’t have a signet tattoo, but Cara witnessed me using the ability when I killed a soldier the night we were at the tavern.”

“What do you mean you killed a soldier that night? We were with you that entire evening until…” Gawain’s voice trails off, lost in his own thoughts and recollections.

I clear my throat. “You were with us until midnight,” I say, finishing his thought. “Two soldiers at the tavern trailed us and attempted to… attack us. I was able to evade one of them at first, but I wasn’t quick enough. So, his companion held me back as he attempted to hurt Cara in front of me. I begged Siorai for help and this ability flowed through me. I-I killed the soldier that held her, while the other ran off as soon as my starlight manifested. I thought he left,” I say, my voice trembling on that last word, “but I was wrong. He reported everything to the captain and?—”

I take a deep breath as Virgil places a hand back on my knee, a silent reassurance that I’m not alone.