Page 171 of Where Darkness Falls

My body feels weak and my cheeks warm as I wipe my sniffling nose.

I’ll never see him again.

We never should’ve left him there alone. I should’ve insisted on staying with him, but I didn’t… Now he’s gone. It’s my fault. If I’d never listened to that cursed song, then he never would’ve swum in the Bones River, nor would he have lost his dragon scale patch. I’m the reason he’s dead.

He won’t always be gone, my dear,Saoirse says reassuringly.

I roll my eyes.I know, I know. His memory will live on forever, and one day we’ll be reunited in Eternity. It doesn’t change the fact that I blame myself for what happened,I reply.

You know as well as I do that’s not what he’d desire for you, my dear,Saoirse coos.He knew the risks of this journey and his loyalty was always to you. You can’t blame yourself for his actions. He proudly saved you and would’ve done so time and time again.

I sniffle again, rubbing my nose.It just won’t be the same without him here. I’m tired of losing everyone I care about, Saoirse,I say.

Her presence wraps in my mind like an embrace.My dear,she says,you didn’t lose them. They’re still very much a part of you. In your weakest moments, their strength and comfort will become your own—reminding you to never give up. Just because they’re not physically here doesn’t mean you’ve lost them. It simply means they’re waiting for you on the other side, and one day you’ll join them proudly. It just won’t be today.

But the pain is so overwhelming, Saoirse. It’s a constant weight in my chest that never releases or eases. I-I don’t know how I can bear it,I reply.

You can and you will because you, Maeva Cale, are extraordinary. You see pain as a weakness when your greatest strength is born from it.Either pain can consume you, or it can become the weapon that fuels you to make changes in search of a better world,she encourages.

Though I don’t want to admit it, Saoirse’s right.

You’re very wise, Saoirse,I laugh.

Saoirse’s chuckle rumbles throughout my head.So I’ve been told,she replies.

A broken laugh racks my being, as the pain feels less than a moment ago.I’ll always thank Siorai for you, even if I haven’t always listened to your guidance. For that, I’m sorry, Saoirse,I say.

No need to apologize, my dear. Siorai knows the path you’ll choose, and this must be it, despite my reservations,she says, pausing momentarily.Maeva, promise me one thing?

Anything, Saoirse.I reply.

When the end of this journey is overwhelming, promise that you’ll remember what I said?she inquires.Your pain will become your greatest strength, as long as you don’t allow the darkness to consume you. Promise me that you’ll look to the light instead of the shadows for guidance.

I will,I promise her.The Abyss won’t overtake me.

Of course not, my dear,she says, solemnly.

Though she doesn’t say anything further, her worry troubles me. What does she know that I still haven’t figured out? I know that I’m a child of light and shadows…whatever that means.I’m not sure why that matters when I only call forth starlight anyway. Perhaps she worries that the creatures in the Abyss will tempt me beyond what I’m capable of handling. However, I’ve already made one deal with a devil. I refuse to make another.

I prop myself up onto my pillow and am surprised to find that I’m not in a hovel, but a large room with high-domed ceilings, constructed from dark marble, and delicate tapestries adorning the walls. Pulling my sheets away from my body, I notice a light pink nightgown in place of my armor.

I don’t remember wearing this at any point on the journey…

Saoirse, where in bloody Celestae am I?I ask.

You’re on the outskirts of the Abyss in a small village inn. The Galrosans thought it best to rest before the Abyss, so that way you wouldn’t have to see the Bones River again so soon after Virgil’s loss,she replies.

I sniff my hair, realizing it no longer smells like weeks of sweat and dirt.Did they bathe me, too? I swear on Siorai’s reign that if one of those bloody Galrosans bathed me while I slept, I’m going to obliterate them,I spit.

Saoirse laughs.Emyr called the female maids to assist you in dressing for the night so you’d be comfortable,she replies.The maids took one whiff of you and decided you also needed a bath. I promise that none of the males were present.

My cheeks heat with embarrassment.Oh,I say.Well, I suppose they’ll survive another day then.

Looking over to the bed adjacent to my own, I locate the source of the furniture-rattling snore.

Emyr.

After all of his talk of distancing himself, as well as not desiring to be with me, I would’ve thought that he’d put Laisren with me instead. Yet, here he is, just a few feet away, sleeping soundly with his hand clasping Scrisis. The man is harsh, but in his slumbering state, he just resembles the Galrosan I adore—not the High General who always chooses duty over his heart.