Page 134 of Where Darkness Falls

“If there isn’t hope, then what’s there to live for?”he asks earnestly.

“There is nothing without hope,” I say.

“Then we must keep believing,” he replies.“Despite how all of this devastation feels, life is worth fighting for.”

A kind sentiment for a weary soul.

My mind continues to whirl as I step into the bathing chamber to dress for the last day of training. My soul is weighed down by my failures.

I’m the chaos, not the cure.

I’m the one predestined to awaken the Na Fíréin?

Then why do I destroy every semblance of goodness around me?

If anything, I’m the slow-acting poison that infects the unsuspecting. If I were the antidote, would I not also stop death itself?

In all of my fretting, Saoirse’s presence caresses my mind.You can’t heal what’s fatal, my dear. As great as your strength is, you aren’t gifted with the god’s power,she coos.

Her words unsettle me. She’s told me this sentiment over and over for the last several days, but I can never bring myself to respond. In truth, while I’ve grown quite fond of the mysterious voice in my head, I’ve become more and more frightened of the fact that she knows so much yet shares so little.

You know I can’t share beyond what I’m allowed,she replies, apparently reading my thoughts.

I’m aware she has access to them, but I don’t have a single moment of privacy… I’m quite tempted to throw that wall back up between us.

You’re angry, and I truly understand why you’re so melancholy, my dear,she says placatingly.My only interest is your safety and providing counsel when necessary.

Get out of my head,I seethe.

Maeva, let me help you,she pleads.

Why would the king promise to bring them back with the Crógemma if I weren’t powerful?I say.He promises that with my ability and the gem, resurrection is possible.

Saoirse is silent for a long moment.There’s always a price to be paid for what’s unnatural,she finally says.

Unnatural?I scoff.You claim my ability is a gift, do you not? He promises that together we can bring them back, so why would I not be willing to at least try?

It’s unwise to believe one to be the master of all life,she growls.You’ve already chosen to believe the king’s delusion?—

You’re the one that encouraged me to train with Emyr, so that I could bring them back!I spit.Or is that just another lie?

Maeva Cale, I’ve never told you a lie,her voice booms.I encouraged you to train, so you’d be prepared for what’s to come, not so you could help the wicked king.Saoirse releases a long sigh.Did I reveal everything you desired to know? No. Truthfully, I can’t do so because I don’t know if this scheme ofthe king will work. What he’s chasing is old lore from centuries before even his reign began. However, I saw the apparitions through your eyes. I heard their voices. I felt your suffering and couldn’t reach you because you put up a wall to keep me from doing so, but even then I never left you, Maeva,she pauses, her voice breaking.When everyone else leaves or strays, I’ll be here as your loyal servant.

Do you believe he can bring them back?I ask quietly.

She sighs.Yes, he potentially could bring them back, but I fear they won’t be as you remember them. I fear that the Demon King is fooling not just you, but himself. You’ve seen his court, Maeva. You’ve experienced his lunacy, yet you chose to aid him. I can’t blame you for it. If I had the chance to awaken those I loved, I’m not sure that I’d refuse such an offer.

I run a hand through my hair, my heart growing heavier and lighter at the same time.Do you believe I chose the right path?I ask.

It isn’t my place to make you choose the right path, but to help guide you on the one that you do choose, Maeva,she replies.Still, this current path isn’t the one I’d choose for you. Tiernan’s need for the Na Fíréin worries me because what he seeks won’t be for the good of the realm, Maeva. I just hope that this path doesn’t end in the destruction of Celestae.

Her words cause guilt to settle over me. I know that making a deal with Tiernan could be costly, and in truth, I never cared what he might do with the Na Fíréin once they were awoken. I figured Siorai made them powerful enough to withstand Tiernan, but what if there’s more to this than I’ve been told?

Siorai chose you for a reason, and I trust that there’s a reason he also guided you to this path,Saoirse says softly.However, I urge you to be wise while on this quest and not to allow your grief to cloud your judgment.

Then, her presence recoils back into the recesses of my mind, leaving me in peace to ponder her words.

Why isthis bloody woman always late?