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Somin started to protest. She didn’t know who this person was, but she felt important. But instead of shredding the painting, Junu slowly sank to the ground, gripping the paper so tightly it wrinkled in his hands.

Somin didn’t know what to say to soothe his pain. So she didn’t speak. She just knelt beside him and wrapped her arms around him, resting his head against her shoulder. She felt his hesitation like a string pulled taut. She waited to see if he’d snap or let loose. And with a sigh he relaxed. The portrait fell to his lap as his arms came around her waist and he let out a breath. One that made his whole body shudder. And then he continued to shake with silent sobs. She tightened her hold on him, trying to absorb the shock of his pain. Trying to take on some of it so it wouldn’t break him.

45

SOMIN LED JUNUto his room. She’d expected him to resist, but it seemed he was too exhausted to protest. She had no idea where he’d been all night, but she was sure he hadn’t slept.

She started to ask Junu if he wanted to change, when he just fell face-first onto his bed.

“At least get under the comforter,” Somin said, trying to pull it free from under him. But instead he took hold of her wrist and tugged her down so she fell beside him.

“I don’t need the blanket,” he murmured, running his hand over her cheek. It made her skin tingle everywhere he touched.

“You don’t know what you need right now.”

Junu lifted a brow. “And you do?”

“I know better than you do right now.”

He chuckled and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. She breathed him in, a musky scent she couldn’t quite place. But it reminded her of his library, parchment and wood. It soothed her, and she let her shoulders relax. She hadn’t even realized how tense they were. Didn’t know she’d needed this, too. To be held, to feel safe.

“Jin.” He said the word into her hair.

“What?” Somin asked.

Junu leaned back so he could look at her. “My family name is Jin.”

“Why are you telling me this?” she asked, searching his inscrutable face.

“Because you asked,” Junu said. “I didn’t think I deserved the name. That’s why I don’t use it.”

“Why would you say such a thing?” Somin asked.

“Because it’s true. It was true before I ever died and became this.” He nodded down toward himself. “My abeoji used to tell me that all the time.”

“Then he was a cruel man,” Somin said.

Junu laughed. “That’s a wild understatement.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because I want you to know me. All of me. You once asked why I was trying to make Changwanie like me.”

“Yeah,” Somin said, unsure of the track the conversation had taken.

“Because he is me. Who I used to be.”

Somin was silent a moment too long.

“You don’t believe me,” Junu muttered.

She shook her head. “No, I do. I’m just trying to figure out how that would look.”

“My human form was completely different from the one I’m in now. Short, stick thin. Couldn’t build muscle for the life of me. And I had pretty bad acne. Though back then, people thought it could be a pox when it got really bad. Oh, the joys of living before modern dermatology,” Junu said, sarcasm lacing his tone. “I had a weak constitution. Was constantly sick when I was young. I was never good enough for my father. Never good enough to carry the family name. And he reminded me of that every day. I guess, with Changwanie, I was trying to help him find a shield so it wouldn’t get so bad for him. So it wouldn’t end so horribly.”

“How did it end?” Somin asked.

“They died,” Junu said quietly. “Because of me.”