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“You get used to it,” Junu said. “It becomes white noise after a while.”

“What’s white noise?” Sinhye asked.

Junu just shook his head; he wasn’t in the mood to give Sinhye a lesson on modern idioms.

“Does it bother you being back?” Sinhye asked. “I can’t imagine you have fond memories of this place either.”

Junu shrugged. He didn’t want to have a heart-to-heart with Sinhye. He didn’t want to be flooded with memories of his past. He just wanted to do what he came to do, and find some kind of peace. Whatever that looked like.

“I didn’t ask them to change you,” Sinhye said. And Junu thought, at first, that he’d misheard her.

“Didn’t ask who?”

“That shaman. The sansin.”

“Bbeongchiji ma,” Junu muttered.

“I’m telling the truth,” Sinhye insisted.

“Then why did they do this to me?” Junu asked. He didn’t believe a word she said.

“It was to punish me.”

Now Junu did stop. He stared at Sinhye, trying to discern any deceit in her face. But he couldn’t find it. Was it because she wore the face of a friend?

“Why would he use me to punish you?”

“For daring to love you instead of him. He could have trapped me without you, but he wanted you to do it so I would feel what it was like to be betrayed by the one person I loved.”

Junu shook his head; he didn’t want to hear this. Didn’t want to feel it squeezing his heart. “What we had wasn’t love.”

“It’s all I knew of love,” Sinhye said. “Before you, I’d known lies. I’d known greed. I’d known lust. But you were my first taste of love. That’s why it hurt so much. Your betrayal. It’s why I hate you so much now.”

There. That was the first thing Junu believed. And it helped harden his resolve. He was doing the right thing. He just had to forge ahead and get it done. “Well, I guess we’re both getting our revenge, then. Come on,” he said, starting up the path again. “We’ve got a ways to go before we reach the cave.”

52

SOMIN WOKE ASthe car jerked to a stop. Miyoung wasn’t the best driver in the world, but she’d gotten them there in one piece.

Dread filled Somin as she climbed out of the Porsche and stared up at the mountain. “We have to hike up this?”

“Yup. Come on, we have a lot of ground to make up,” Miyoung said. She shaded her eyes from the sun, which was rising higher into the sky. It felt like it was moving too fast. Like time was racing against them.

Somin had tried to practice in her head what she wanted to say to Junu but hadn’t come up with anything yet. She wanted to yell at him and hug him at the same time. She still wasn’t sure how she felt. A part of her was so pissed that Junu would do this. That he wouldn’t even talk to the rest of them before making this decision. But another part of her was so grateful he would sacrifice himself for Jihoon.

“Are you okay?” Miyoung asked, and Somin realized Miyoung had been talking.

“I’ll be fine when we find them.”

“Then let’s get going.”

53

THE TREES FELTmore ominous on this climb than the last. Perhaps because Junu knew that they’d likely become the guardians of his grave. What an odd thing to walk toward. Death. He remembered a time when he’d wished for it every day. But eventually, he’d learned to drown out that depression by living however he pleased. Still it never made him truly happy.

It was only now, in the last few months, that he’d begun to feel like he was truly living. It felt like more of a life than the last few centuries. More of one than when he’d been human. This time he’d spent with this strange group of people who had somehow come to mean the world to him. Who he’d sacrifice everything for. It was perhaps the only way he knew to give a final purpose to his wayward life. He’d done no good while he was on this earth. So at least he could do one good thing as he left it.

Junu stopped and reached into his pack.