Page 115
Story: Vicious Spirits
“There isn’t and we don’t have time to sit around debating this,” Junu said.
“You don’t need to do this,” she said. “Please, I don’t want you to do this.”
He held Somin close, letting her sobs shake them both.
“I can’t let you lose Jihoon. He’s too important to you. And he’s also innocent. And he doesn’t deserve any of this.”
Somin’s fists turned to grab hold of his shoulders. “You were innocent, too. You never chose this either.”
“Even if I was innocent once, I’m not anymore.”
“That doesn’t mean you deserve to die,” Somin sobbed.
“Perhaps not, but it’s what needs to happen now.”
Somin cupped his face, her eyes taking him in, boring into his like they could see everything inside of him. “You were wrong about something.”
“I doubt it. I’m usually never wrong.”
“You said you’re broken. You said you can’t be fixed. But you don’t need to be fixed. You’re a good person, Jin Junu.”
“I’m not a person, Lee Somin.”
That earned a scowl from her. “This isn’t a time to make jokes.”
“I think this is thebesttime to make jokes. Why be a morose bore when I’m about to die?” Junu grinned his devil-may-care smile. He didn’t want to leave her with a vision of him in despair. Perhaps it was selfish, but he wanted her to remember him with joy.
He wanted nothing more than to stay here with Somin. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t even take a few minutes of grace to show her how much she’d come to mean to him. There wasn’t enough time to show her. Even if he lived another hundred years, there wouldn’t be enough time. So he pressed his lips against hers. Trying to push every part of his heart into the kiss. Trying to show her that even though his spirit would leave this earth, a part of him would stay here with her.
Before he was ready, he pulled away, turning to Sinhye.
“We’re going to cut your connection to that body,” Junu said. “If you try to hold on, I don’t know what it will do to either of you. But it won’t be punishing me anymore. I won’t be here to mourn him.”
Sinhye scowled, then nodded. “I’ll let go. I have no need to stay here any longer. The sansin is dead. You’ll be dead. I’m not afraid to move on.”
Junu wasn’t sure if he could truly trust Sinhye to keep her word here. But it was all he had and they didn’t have time to bicker over it. So he helped her sit up.
“I see it now,” Sinhye whispered into his ear.
“What do you see?” Junu asked.
She pulled back to study him with such intensity he wondered what she was searching for. “I see that what we had was not the love I thought.”
“We don’t have time for this.”
Her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to absorb her pain. “You’re willing to sacrifice everything for that girl. We pretended we’d sacrifice for each other. I would give up my immortal life and you’d give up your family. But really those were both things that didn’t matter enough to us. And we were fools for that. For so many things.”
Junu nodded at the truth of her words. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I loved you because you helped me forget how pathetic my life had become. And I held you up in front of my family like a trophy I had won. That was selfish of me.”
Sinhye’s internal conflict showed in the furrow of Jihoon’s brow, now so sweaty his hair stuck to his skin. “And I reveled in the fact that I was the only one who could make you happy. But I think I always knew it was because I was the only one youletmake you happy.”
“You’re right.”
“I’m glad,” Sinhye said. “That now, in the end, we can be honest with each other.”
“I hope one day our souls can forgive each other, too.”
Sinhye nodded.
“You don’t need to do this,” she said. “Please, I don’t want you to do this.”
He held Somin close, letting her sobs shake them both.
“I can’t let you lose Jihoon. He’s too important to you. And he’s also innocent. And he doesn’t deserve any of this.”
Somin’s fists turned to grab hold of his shoulders. “You were innocent, too. You never chose this either.”
“Even if I was innocent once, I’m not anymore.”
“That doesn’t mean you deserve to die,” Somin sobbed.
“Perhaps not, but it’s what needs to happen now.”
Somin cupped his face, her eyes taking him in, boring into his like they could see everything inside of him. “You were wrong about something.”
“I doubt it. I’m usually never wrong.”
“You said you’re broken. You said you can’t be fixed. But you don’t need to be fixed. You’re a good person, Jin Junu.”
“I’m not a person, Lee Somin.”
That earned a scowl from her. “This isn’t a time to make jokes.”
“I think this is thebesttime to make jokes. Why be a morose bore when I’m about to die?” Junu grinned his devil-may-care smile. He didn’t want to leave her with a vision of him in despair. Perhaps it was selfish, but he wanted her to remember him with joy.
He wanted nothing more than to stay here with Somin. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t even take a few minutes of grace to show her how much she’d come to mean to him. There wasn’t enough time to show her. Even if he lived another hundred years, there wouldn’t be enough time. So he pressed his lips against hers. Trying to push every part of his heart into the kiss. Trying to show her that even though his spirit would leave this earth, a part of him would stay here with her.
Before he was ready, he pulled away, turning to Sinhye.
“We’re going to cut your connection to that body,” Junu said. “If you try to hold on, I don’t know what it will do to either of you. But it won’t be punishing me anymore. I won’t be here to mourn him.”
Sinhye scowled, then nodded. “I’ll let go. I have no need to stay here any longer. The sansin is dead. You’ll be dead. I’m not afraid to move on.”
Junu wasn’t sure if he could truly trust Sinhye to keep her word here. But it was all he had and they didn’t have time to bicker over it. So he helped her sit up.
“I see it now,” Sinhye whispered into his ear.
“What do you see?” Junu asked.
She pulled back to study him with such intensity he wondered what she was searching for. “I see that what we had was not the love I thought.”
“We don’t have time for this.”
Her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to absorb her pain. “You’re willing to sacrifice everything for that girl. We pretended we’d sacrifice for each other. I would give up my immortal life and you’d give up your family. But really those were both things that didn’t matter enough to us. And we were fools for that. For so many things.”
Junu nodded at the truth of her words. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I loved you because you helped me forget how pathetic my life had become. And I held you up in front of my family like a trophy I had won. That was selfish of me.”
Sinhye’s internal conflict showed in the furrow of Jihoon’s brow, now so sweaty his hair stuck to his skin. “And I reveled in the fact that I was the only one who could make you happy. But I think I always knew it was because I was the only one youletmake you happy.”
“You’re right.”
“I’m glad,” Sinhye said. “That now, in the end, we can be honest with each other.”
“I hope one day our souls can forgive each other, too.”
Sinhye nodded.
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