Page 95 of Undertow

He gives me a hard look. “You don’t want to know. It’s better if you don’t know.”

I shake my head, dread seeping through every pore. “Were those people dead? Who are they?”

“Shaw? No,” he warns in a harsh tone. “Just… let it go.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to let it go? And why don’t I remember anything? The last thing I remember is…”

My blood goes cold.

Scarlett. Devious eyes blasting me with a mischievous look as she handed me a glass.

“Don’t you trust me, Shaw?”Her mocking tone was a clear reference to my admonition to her in the room just hours before.

Oh god. I can’t breathe.

“She drugged me,” I breathe out.

Merrick blinks a few times as if considering his response. His gaze flickers to me before darting back to his task.

I buckle from the blow. “Scarlett did this?”

Merrick gives a curt nod. “On orders.”

“Orders from whom?!”

“Who do you think?”

I open my mouth to respond, but there are no words. None of this makes sense.

Merrick releases a frustrated sigh and adjusts to be eye level with me. “I’m going to say two things and then this never comes up again. You understand? Don’t ask questions. Don’t mention it. You pretend none of this happened. You bury this shit deep and move on. If you bring it up, I’ll deny it. So will every other person involved.”

He takes a breath and softens ever so slightly. “First, there’s a video. McArthur owns you now—mind, body, and soul. More than he already did. He set this up because he thinks you’re getting too important to his operation. He needs you and fears you at the same time. That’s a deadly combination for people like us. You get what I’m saying?”

My stomach rolls as his words sink in.

I do get it. McArthur can’t risk me running again and he also can’t waste my talent by keeping me locked up out of play. He needed insurance. Now he has it.

I shake my head, completely numb. Words fail me. In all my strategizing, all my experience, I never saw this coming. I thought… God, I’m so naïve. I actually thought I was starting to gain his trust. I thought I had a fucking chance at surviving this.

“The second thing is even more dangerous and stays between you and me. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…” He shakes off a thought. “Swear to me. Swear this doesn’t leave this room.”

I force a nod, unable to speak.

“Swear it, Shaw!”

“Okay. I swear.”

He runs a hand over his face, then settles his stare back on me. “They’re going to make you think you killed those people. They’re setting it up so everyone will think that, but you didn’t.The video makes it look like you did, but that’s not what happened.”

“So what really happened? Who are they? I-I want to see the video.”

He shakes his head. “No. You don’t. Trust me, kid… It’s just better if you don’t know. Those people… they’re fucking nobody, Shaw. Collateral damage. It wouldn’t be possible anyway. McArthur can’t know I told you it exists. He finds out, we’re both dead.”

I have no idea if I can trust anything Merrick is saying, but I do know he’s right. McArthur would never share his leverage if he had it. The sick feeling in my stomach is because deep down I know Merrick’s version is the most logical.

I’m screwed. Completely shattered and at McArthur’s mercy, just the way he’s wanted since the day he held a gun to my head on that bloody concrete floor.

“Was New Orleans even about the RLC? Or was it about me?” My trembling voice is barely audible.