Page 109 of Undertow

This must be what death feels like.

I briefly wonder if the cold might be worse than the drowning, until a warm jacket slides around my trembling shoulders. Heat from another body infuses into mine.

I lift confused, broken eyes to my killer-turned-savior.

“It’s not supposed to be like this, son. You’re not wired for this life.” His tone is gruff but gentle at the same time, like he’s speaking with anger meant for something else.

No words make their way from my damaged throat. There’s nothing left inside me except a crushing fear of the watery abyss.

Well, there wasn’t.

Now, a tiny sliver of hope is filling one of the endless cracks inside me.

“Let’s get you out of here,” he says. “I have a change of clothes and supplies on the dock. They won’t know we’re missing for at least twelve hours. That’ll get us a good head start.”

“A h-head start?”

“You’re not going back there, son. What they did—what they’vedoneyour whole life…” He shakes his head. “No more. It’s over, okay?”

It’s over.

I’ve wanted to hear those words for so long, but I always assumed they’d be accompanying my death, not a new life.

I stare at the man I’ve misjudged, the last person I would expect to reach into my nightmare and pull me out. Warmth blossoms in my chest. I pull the jacket tighter around my shoulders.

”R-razor…?” The name stutters from my trembling lips, still frozen and lifeless.

He cringes and shakes his head with iron resolve. “No. I’m not Razor anymore. Call me something else. Fuckinganythingelse.”

21

COMPROMISED

“Call them,” Mama H barks at me.

With one wrist cuffed to the chair leg in Adrian’s kitchen, dialing a phone is no easy task. Julia holds my McArthur cell in front of me so I can use my free hand to pull up Merrick’s number.

“What do you want me to say?” I ask.

“Whatever the hell it takes to prove to us you’ve switched sides.”

“I can’t call them on speakerphone. They know I’d never do that.”

“Then, we’ll be quiet,” Adrian growls. “Fucking call them!”

Julia’s stare bores into me, silently begging me to comply. She still hasn’t decided if she’s going to betray her family in the final showdown, but she did determine that our interests are aligned for now. To buy us time and get me out of The Shack, she convinced Mama H that I agreed to help them in exchange for my life.

Julia initiates the call. Merrick picks up after one ring.

“What the fuck, Shaw? This better be important.”

“Would I be calling if it wasn’t?”

“Be quick. I’m in the middle of something.”

“Yeah? Well, so was I when Scarlett showed up and nearly blew my cover. You need to keep her the hell away from Undertow. She’s off the rails.”

“Scarlett showed up?”