Page 117 of Undertow

His sad eyes search mine. “Whatever you want. In time, you’ll find something that feels right.”

I bite my lip, not sure what he means by that.

When I look back at the deer, they’ve moved further into the woods. The buck lifts his head and angles it in my direction.

For a few seconds, I breathe borrowed air as our souls connect.

This is freedom,he tells me.This is living.

Somewhere there’s a hunter. Or a car. Or a disease ready to ravage their peace.

But that’s a future story.

For now, they have something priceless. And those are the moments we live for.

Today I am alive.

Hope.

It’s a foreign land with a rising tide and I’ve stumbled upon it as a castaway, but a moment to breathe feels like resurrection when you’ve spent your whole life underwater.

There’s this shadow that the sun casts and I can’t seem to escape the darkness of its trail, but shade means coverage, some kind of makeshift shelter, even if it is just a break in the clouds or a branch overhead.

For once it isn’t a threat, it’s simply provision in a moment and I am learning to cherish these breaths. Come hell or high water, freedom comes at a cost, and nearly losing my life for the sake of it brings me to my knees in awe.

When life unravels before me and I lose touch with my senses, I pray this is the moment that flashes before my eyes.

-JD June 22

22

QUIET RESIGNATION

My eyes snap open at the first rustle. The second confirms what my racing heart already knows.

They’re here.

“Make a sound and we end you,” Adrian hisses through the railing.

Tyler jumps onto the porch, flashing a glint of metal in the moonlight.

“She left you to rot outside? That’s cold,” Tyler whispers with a chuckle.

Adrian unlocks one of the cuffs with what must be another set of keys, then reaches through the railing to reapply it to my wrist.

“Get up,” he commands.

Tyler motions with the gun, and I force my aching legs to stand. It’s probably been three or four hours since I finally convinced Julia to close the door and go to bed. She must have fallen asleep because I doubt she’d let her relatives kidnap me without a fight if she was awake.

This is exactly what I feared and why I did everything I could to make sure she wasn’t.

“Where are you taking me?” I ask like a good victim as Adrian grips my arm and shoves me forward.

“You talk a lot for a dead man. Anyone ever tell you that?” he quips.

Tyler snickers behind us, and I clench my jaw.

I know the answer anyway. I was only asking for their benefit.