Page 79 of Undertow

Chills rush over my skin, infusing deep bursts of pleasure I feel well beyond the physical. Just the smallest touch, but damn, it feels good. The best orgasm in the world can’t compete with the impact of a sincere caress. It makes no sense.

I blink through the pressure in my throat, my mind reeling as I stare up at the ceiling.

“Shaw?”

Closing my eyes, I breathe through the pain in my chest.

What did I want to be when I grew up?

Free.

“A writer,” I say instead.

She huffs a short laugh. “Of course. I should have guessed that, sorry.”

“What about you?” I ask before we get too far into my disaster.

Her light chuckle singes my insides, and I tuck her closer to me. This warmth. Thislight. I’m getting addicted—which scares the shit out of me—but I don’t know how to stop it. God knows I’ve tried, it’s just…

Her lips brush my shoulder in an effortless kiss.Short, chaste, and so fucking dangerous.

“Free,” she whispers finally. “I just wanted to be free.”

I choke on a breath.

“Free? What do you mean?” I force out. My steady tone doesn’t match the chaos inside.

She sighs, now running her deadly touch over my stomach. “It’s hard to explain. I guess… I’ve always felt trapped, you know? Like I was born into a life—afamily—I don’t belong in. There’s so much I have to hide in order to survive and fulfill my obligations. I just want to be free to be myself and follow my own path. I don’t know what that path is, but I know it’s not this.” She pauses, and I feel her intense gaze. “Hey, you okay? What is it?”

I can’t answer this time. She’ll hear it in my voice. See it in my face. Feel it in my trembling body.

She can’t know I’m cracking.

“Shaw?”

I shake my head, wincing when she reaches for my cheek. She pushes up, her eyes searching mine with concern, so much compassion, and I can’t… I just…

Tears well in my eyes.

Horrified, I pull away and shift to the edge of the bed.

“Hey, what is it? What’s wrong?” Her voice is still so gentle.

She has to stop caring about me. Shecan’t!

Ican’t.

No one can. Just…

My fingers tangle in my hair as I rest my elbows on my knees, struggling to draw in soothing breaths.

You can’t cry. You can’t break. Not here in front ofher.

Never in front of someone else.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” But I don’t sound fine. I sound… shattered.

“Shaw.”