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“I need you to keep this between you and Duke. I can’t have Dev getting any blowback from the boys.”
“Of course, Rog. I like her. We’ll talk soon, okay?”
“Yeah,” I mutter disconnecting.
“Fuck!” I yell noticing my charred steaks on the grill. I was so lost in the past and the present that I forgot all about them.
Turning the grill off, I chuck the steak in the trash and grab my keys, guess I’m heading to Sassy’s for dinner anyway. So much for avoiding the ghosts tonight—not just Dev, but Dee and Pops, too.
It was slow as shit tonight. I polished all the bottles behind the bar just to keep my hands busy—smashed a few too.
That’s when Federico stepped in and kicked my ass to the backrooms. I almost swung at him.
“It’s my goddamn bar. I can break shit if I want to,” I had told him.
“Jefe.You need to chill,” he said placing a hand on my arm.
“Fuck off,” I turned holding the bottle up ready to smash it on the side of his head. Big Jim lumbered off his stool and grabbed my arm, “Dude, fuckin’ chill.”
“Whatever, I want you two assholes out of my bar.”
“I’m the bouncer,jefe. You can’t bounce the bouncer.”
“The hell I can’t,” I roared so loud the veins in my neck popped out. A few women grabbed their purses and ran for the door.
“Christ, I’m a mess. Take over for me behind the bar.”
“Who me?” Big Jim asked shocked.
“Not you, asshole. You’ll drink yourself under the bar.”
Federico takes my place and I head down the back hall to my office. Her last paycheck sits on top of my desk. Sighing, I sit down heavily, causing the springs to creak. I reach for my cigar box and put one between my lips savoring the taste and feel of it before snipping the end and lighting it.
Alone in the dark, I grieve for the girl I had a chance of forever with. My hands shuffle and reshuffle the invoices and bills on my desk. The smell from my cigar comforts me. I open my drawer reaching for my reading glass that Dev always found sexy and put them on. My lips twitch remembering the night she wanted me to wear them to bed but I told her I leave them here in my office.
She pouted.
I spanked her and promised I’d bring them next time.
But there never was a next time.
My dick and heart both wilt, wishing things turned out differently.
My fingers pull the chain on my desk lamp and I get to work, doing the business I blew off when I rode out to Cali to meet Duke with Dev’s DNA sample. I fire up my laptop and login, shaking my head at how torn up Duke was about it all; half-wishin’ it was true, half-hoping it wasn’t. All kinds of shit resurfaced for him—shit that he buried a long time ago. But this situation opened old wounds. Dee Dee Stanton fucked up Duke’s childhood, broke-up his home, turned his father into a raging alcoholic asshole and Duke bore the brunt of all that.
None of it has anything to do with Dev, but yet everything to do with Dev.
It’s a head and heart trip no one was prepared for. I work until my eyes blur from staring at the glow from the computer screen.
Sighing, I shut everything down and take my glasses off, rubbing my eyes. Grabbing my leather cut from the back of my chair, I shut my lamp off and walk out locking my office door behind me.
“I’m headin’ out. You good to lock-up?”
“Sí,jefe.You go. I got this,” Federico waves to the handful of patrons lingering till closing.
Hands bunched in my jeans, I make my way over to my truck parked out back. Lost in my thoughts of the long, lonely night ahead, I don’t see her waiting until I’m five feet away.
Her beautiful long locks fly in the wind. Her eyes look haunted.