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“Here,” I dump the books on his lap and walk back down the hallway needing a hot shower and a fresh pot of coffee to feel human again.
After a few hours we decide to take a break and go out to eat. Toad offered to take me on his bike, but I couldn’t. I can’t wrap my arms around anyone but Rog. So, we drove in my Subaru a few towns over to a Mexican restaurant where I continued stuffing myself with loaded up nachos and Margaritas until I burped so loud a few heads turned.
“Oops,” I muttered sheepishly.
“Christ, Dev. Gimme your keys.”
I hand them over and order another round. The cell vibrates on the table next to my decimated plate and what’s left of my fifth drink.
We both stare at the name flashing across the screen.
“Shanna?”
“Hey. The test results came back. The lab says with 99.9% accuracy you are related to Duke.”
“Yeah, I already knew that.”
“It’s a lot Dev. The two of them aren’t handling it well. I’m sorry. They told me to call.”
“T-thank you. T-tell Duke… that I’m sorry he’s hurting and that—I hope someday… we can talk. He might not be happy to have a sister. But someday if he’ll let me, I’d love to be one,” I break off with a sob.
“I will.”
“And Shanna… tell Rog. Oh God, tell Rog—I’m nothing like her.”
“I know that Dev. Hell, everyone does, just give them some time. They both have thick heads.”
“Okay. Wait, before you hang up, can you tell me how he found out?”
She’s silent for a minute. “The headstone. They found out you paid for it and put the pieces together from there.”
“Right. Well, you tell them they can be mad as hell at me but if anyone from Creed thinks about writing whore on her grave again… I’ll take a Louisville slugger to their bikes. I don’t care what she did, she still deserves to rest in peace.”
“Noted. I’ll call you soon,” she promises hanging up.
“Damn girl, you’ve got some balls. Way to turn the tables, Dev.” He holds a palm up for a high-five.
“I feel like I’m gonna puke.” I’m trembling, stomach churning. “I just hope they both come around. I really want a brother and my boyfriend back.”
“They will Dev. In the meantime, you still have me and in case you haven’t noticed—I’m a goddamn ball of fun. Let’s get out of here I feel like shooting some pool.”
“You’re a good man Toad. Someday your princess will come.”
“Christ. If this is what heartache looks like I don’t want to wear it.” He slaps a few twenties down insisting it’s his treat and takes my hand helping me slide out of the booth.
“Promise something, Mac?”
“What’s that.”
I lean heavily on him, buzzed to hell but needing to say this, “When you get your GED. Pack up your shit and go far. I know Creed was a way out for you once, but you don’t need to think it’s your only option. I mean I get it now—they’re your family. So, they should understand you wanting to ride as far as you can go. Do you hear what I’m sayin’?”
“I do. Thank you,” he whispers pulling me against his side.
“Hey Dev, just so you know—you’re a good friend too.”
I smile, grateful for the friendship of this scarred man working to set himself free.
“I love you, Mac. I do. I can’t imagine never knowing any of you.”