Page 45
“What?” Honestly, at this point, I was surprised I was capable of saying anything.
“Her name was Olivia,” he said softly. Absently. He didn’t look up from where our fingers interlocked. “My uncle and father thought it would be a good match. She was the press secretary’s daughter, beautiful, witty...but I never loved her. It felt as if I was going through the motions day after day. Almost as if I was in darkness my entire life. I knew I should’ve loved her - hell, I wanted to love her - but I couldn’t. Not even the others knew about her. Oh sure, they knew I was seeing a girl, but they don’t know how serious it had become. At least, on the outside.
“I remember I had just proposed to her when I was called to the resort to save my team after a tornado struck. At the time, I had been doing research about a human-trafficking ring. Olivia had been with me...so I proposed. It felt like something I was supposed to do, you know? I was dating this girl, had been for two years, and she had confessed her love to me. I said it back because what else was I supposed to say?
“And then I visited you at the hotel with Ryder, and you were in that damn wheelchair looking so fucking beautiful, and it was like a light being flipped on.
“I got to know you, started to fall in love with you, and I realized I couldn’t lead Olivia on. I called her that day and ended things.”
His breathing quickened, hand tightening around mine to the point of pain.
“I left a girl in the middle of the fucking apocalypse, Addie. Of course, I didn’t know it was the apocalypse at the time, but still. What type of man does that? Not one deserving of you, that’s for damn sure. I left her, and I didn’t think twice about it. She’s probably dead by now, and that fucking hurts. I may not have loved her like that, but I did care about her. Does it make me heartless?” His voice lowered to a raspy whisper. “Do you hate me now?”
Slowly, I untangled my hand from his and placed it on my lap. I needed to process what he had just told me.
Fallon had been...engaged.
To a girl.
And he chose me over her.
His words tumbled through my mind, a gymnastics routine I couldn’t quite keep up with. Tears festered in my eyes.
For the first time since I met Fallon, I understood him.
Sure, I had always loved him, but love didn’t necessarily equal understanding. For so long, he had kept an impenetrable barrier between the two of us. Secrets grew around that wall like flowers in a garden.
Today, he had trusted me with his deepest secret. Trusted me to love him and handle it.
But what if I couldn’t?
Fallon had left that poor girl for me. What if he met someone new and did the same thing again? What if he left me for some blond bimbo?
I knew I wasn’t thinking logically, but the fear remained.
And what of that girl? He had justlefther. I knew he didn’t love her and people break up all the time...but why me? What made me so special?
I barely understood my own thoughts.
“Please say something.” Fallon’s voice was choked. “You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved. The only one Iwilllove. I can’t do this without you.”
The raw sincerity in his voice nearly unraveled me.
“Fallon…”
“I love you.” He grabbed my hips desperately, positioning me on his lap. He trailed open-mouthed kisses over my shoulder and neck. “I love you. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t leave me. I love you.”
It was only then that I understood. Fallon acted as if he was made of cement, but that wasn’t true. He was actually crafted from glass and one wrong move could break him. How had I never noticed it before? Fallon, Sarge, our leader, was broken.
“Fallon.” I captured his head, my palm resting on his cheek, and turned his face towards mine. Tears glimmered, unshed, in his eyes. “I will never hate you. What you did...yeah, it was pretty shitty. Breaking up over the phone in any circumstance is shitty, but you didn’t know the world was going to end. No one can blame you for that. I’m not mad at you. At all. I’m confused, yes, and hurt that you didn’t trust me, but we’ll get through this. I love you. I trust you. You fell out of love. Or maybe you never truly loved her to begin with. Only you can answer that, but either way...Fallon...that’s normal. Just...just don’t fall out of love with me, okay?”
“Never.” He pressed his lips to mine in promise.
And I knew then that what we had, though unconventional, was forever.
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