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I leaned over, dry-heaving. Someone patted my back sympathetically.

My heart broke for my brother doing what we all would’ve done: protect the person we loved more than anything. A part of me wanted to hate him for leaving us, but I knew I would do the same in a heartbeat.

Something mingled with the grief. Gratitude, I realized.

I sat up, blinking tears out of my eyes. Suddenly, all of the men froze, eyes widening. As one, they rushed towards the staircase taking the steps two at a time. I followed along behind them helplessly, wondering what they had heard to cause such an immediate reaction.

That question was answered as we piled into Addie’s room. She was curled in Ronan’s arms on the floor, tears dripping down her face as she sobbed.

Oh Addie…

I focused on her lips moving as she cried out something. No, not something. A name.

Calax.

I wanted to be strong for her, but I couldn’t. Collapsing to my knees, I crawled towards her and took her from Ronan. I needed to feel her in my arms, to know she was alive and well. Only when she was settled firmly against me, her tear-stained face resting in the crook of my neck, did I allow my own tears to fall.

Pain washed over me in a tidal wave. Losing someone you loved did things to you. Changed you intricately.

We were strong, I knew that, but I also knew how death could alter your entire perspective on life. What if Calax’s death was the one thing we couldn’t come back from?

The six of us had lost a brother, and Addie had lost the love of her life.

That wasn’t something any of us could just bounce back from. Memories would haunt us, our dreams would warp reality, and the slightest reminder would send us barreling over the edge.

As my tears fell harder, I realized the rest of the men had subtly exited the room. Even Fallon.

I worried about him the most, even more than Addie.

He considered himself the leader of our group, the brain. Addie may be the heart and the glue that held us together, but Fallon - or Sarge as we so lovingly called him - was the one we looked to. The one who had always protected us. How would he take this? How would he compartmentalize his grief?

All I could do was hold Addie a little tighter, a little closer, and hope that would be enough for now.

But I knew it never would be.

* * *

Addie

The Ragers were closing in on us. So many.

“Addie!” Calax called, his voice tight with agony. I searched for him desperately in the sea of blotchy faces and milky, sunken eyeballs.

“Calax!” I cried, cupping my mouth with my hands. When there was no reply, I raised my voice to be heard of the cacophony of grunts and growls. “CALAX!”

But I knew I wouldn’t find him.

“Calax!”

I woke up with his name a scream on my lips. Desperately, I patted the bed beside me, but it was empty.

I was alone.

A strangled sob escaped me as I searched the darkened room for any of my men. Where were they? Were they gone? Dead?

I couldn’t breathe past the tightness in my chest.

A scream built in my chest, tears simultaneously streaking my cheeks. I staggered out of bed only to trip over my own two feet and land in a puddle on the ground.