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He chuckles and slaps his thigh. I know that he thinks I’m a joke so I turn around, ready to leave and come up with another way to get them.

“Whoa, Whoa.” I feel his body come up behind me and his hand touches my hip, making shivers roll up my spine and not the good kind. “I’ll get you your pills,” he whispers in my ear.

I nod my head slowly and turn around, trying to make my lips lift into a smile but it proves harder than I thought with his rank breath fanning over my face.

His hand wanders up the back of my top and over my spine, his fingers scratching against my skin.

My eyes flutter closed but not for anything but to block this all out. He steps away and I breathe a sigh of relief as I open my eyes and turn around, seeing his back to me. He turns to face me a few seconds later, smirking as he holds a bottle out in front of him.

I swallow and try my hardest not to dive forward to take them from him. I need to keep my cool and wait, I don’t want to look desperate even though that’s exactly how I feel.

My hand flutters to my pocket and I pull out some bills, reaching my hand out to him. He takes them, counting it twice and looking back up at me.

“See you next time,” he chuckles, handing the pills over to me.

As soon as they’re in my hand, I spin around and pull the door open, stepping out into the clean air and jogging back to my car.

Once I have the engine roaring it all comes down on me. I just scored these from a dealer, I shouldn’t be doing this, but even as I think it, I’m opening up the bottle and pouring some into my hand.

I just need to pretend that I got these pills from my doctor, that I went to the pharmacy and filled the prescription out that he gave me and then went home.

That’s what I’ll do, I’ll pretend and lie to myself because it’s the only thing that will help me keep my sanity.

“Come on, Kitty! Harder!”

I growl in frustration at Ty, hating that I can’t even do a simple, left hook, right hook. I’m not one for giving in; I try and try until I can’t physically do anything else, but this is beating me.

I lift my arm, trying to hit the pads but it’s too much, too soon. It burns when I try to make the hit, the vibrations traveling up my arm making me wince and grit my teeth.

“Fuck!” I pull the gloves off my hands, throwing them down on the mat that covers the warehouse floor and stomping over to Evan’s station, struggling to twist the top off the stupid bottle of water.

“Kitty,” Ty calls, but I ignore him.

“Seriously? I can’t even open a bottle of fucking water!” I drop the bottle on the floor as the telltale signs of tears sting my eyes. I will not cry, I will not cry.

“Take a breath,” Ty says, coming to stand in front of me and placing his hands on my shoulders, leaning down so that his eyes are level with mine.

“I can’t do it,” I say, my voice low. “I’ll never be able to do it again.”

“You will.”

I look up into his eyes, expecting to see pity but all I see is support.

Since I’ve been home they’ve all gathered around me, making me food, helping me get dressed; such normal things that you do without a second thought but are ridiculously hard when you’ve been shot in the arm and can barely use it.

I want to be back to who I was, doing the things that I used to do. I want to be back out on jobs.

“Take a break, help Evan with the job that Luke and Kay are on.”

“You want me to sit at the desk again?” I growl.

“Yeah.” He shrugs, letting his hands drop from my shoulders. “Helping Evan is just as important as being out on jobs.”

“I know,” I say on a breath. “I just… I just hate not being able to get out there, I’m just sitting on that case you gave me and it’s driving me nuts knowing I can’t do anything.”

He takes a step back, picking up the gloves off the floor and taking them to the cupboard, placing them inside along with the pads.

“You’ll get there, Kitty. It’s just gonna take some time.”