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He directs this at me but it’s Barbie who answers. “She came in threatening—”

“I did no such thing!” I shout at her and then turn to Leroy. “I just want to see Charlie and standing here isn’t helping me; my arm is throbbing like a bitch.”

His eye move down to my arm and then back up again as he tilts his head and punches the code into the door. My eyes meet Barbie’s and I smirk. Take that.

“Does he know you’re coming?” Leroy asks as we walk up the stairs.

“No, it’s a surprise.”

“Uh huh,” he chuckles.

My breathing starts to come harder and faster the more I climb the stairs and I sway a little as my bicep throbs so much that I can feel it all the way to my bones.

“Here, let me help you,” Leroy says, not giving me the chance to tell him I’m okay before he swings me up into his arms, avoiding jostling my arm, and carries me the rest of the way. I gasp in pain as I bob up and down in his arms with each step that he takes.

“What the—”

“Sarge? Kitty came to see you, she was a little unsteady on her feet.”

I’m passed from one set of arms to another, Charlie’s distinctive smell of musk and mint wraps around me, calming me in a way that nothing else ever has. My head rests on his chest as my eyes start to close and my breathing evens out, my pulse slowing down at being in his arms.

He walks forward then asks, “What are you doing here?” and closes his office door behind us. He balances me on the edge of his desk and moves to the windows that look into the pit, closing the blinds to block them out.

“I wanted to see you.” I smile, lifting my hand to his face and feeling his scruff against the palm of my hand. “I’m sorry about this morning.”

He leans down, planting a soft kiss on my lips and pulling back, his eyes swirling with emotion. “I’m not gonna be done for a few hours, but when I am, I’m taking you home.”

He picks me up, walks around his desk and sits down in his chair. I shuffle on his lap, my mouth turning down as I say, “I don’t want to go back to the compound.”

“We’ll go back to mine then,” he says.

“Okay,” I whisper, bringing my lips to his and then settling down on his chest.

My eyes are heavy from all the energy I’ve exuded today. I never thought that going for a checkup would take so much energy but I’m wiped and all I want to do is sleep, with Charlie’s arms around me.

Her face looks so peaceful as she sleeps, the curve of her lips moves slightly as her breath passes through them, her tongue coming out to wet them every so often. Her eyelids flutter as she dreams, her muscles jerking almost as if she’s trying to run away from something. I wish I could get inside her head and see what she’s dreaming about.

I could sit here all day and happily watch her sleep, but I can’t. I have work to do.

I frown as I think about her coming here to the precinct. She’s never come to me like this before and I can’t help but think that there’s something else going on. I know the main reason why she hasn’t come here in the pa

st is because I told her she couldn’t; that it had to be a secret. I’ll never forget the look on her face the day I told her that.

“Do you think your mom will like me?” she asks, trailing her hand over my naked chest as we lie in bed, catching our breaths after an epic sex session.

I grab her hand, stilling her movements.

We’ve been doing this for a few months now and although I know it isn’t anything serious, I don’t think I explained that to her. It’s not like I’m sleeping with other people, in fact, she’s the only one I’m sleeping with, the only one since Emmy. But I just can’t take myself to that place again, to the place where it’s possible to get hurt.

“I’m sure she’d love you when she meets you, but it won’t be because of me.” I push up off the bed, grabbing my jeans and shoving my legs through them.

“What? I don’t understand,” she says, sitting up and holding the sheet up to her chest.

“Look…” I run my hand over my face, as I drop into the chair opposite my bed. “This,” I say, waving my hand between us. “It’s fun, I like being with you, doing what we do, but it doesn’t go any further than this, it can’t. It has to stay a secret.”

“Why can’t it?” she asks, her voice taking on an edge.

“You’ll never understand, you can’t.” I jump out of the chair and storm out of the room, my muscles tense as I walk into the kitchen, grabbing a beer and twisting the top off. I won’t explain my life to her, I couldn’t explain it to her even if I fucking tried.