Page 21

The truck breaking down may have been a good thing. At least, I hope it will be a good thing. Only time will tell.

“Okay, do that and keep me updated.”

“Will do.” I click the end call button as I walk into the bathroom and place the burner on the top of the vanity before I strip my clothes, ready to get the bar stench from last night off me.

Pulling up next to my dad’s work cabin, I push out of the SUV and make my way up to the big house. My childhood home is meant to be a happy place. A place where you remember all of those fun and happy things you did when you were growing up: like building a treehouse, sleepovers with your friends, family dinners, that sort of thing.

But for me, as I look at the wrap-around porch that surrounds the entire house and the chairs that sit on it, I can’t not see Emmy sitting there. She’d sit on that porch, watching the sun come up every morning and watching it fall every night. There wasn’t a day that she missed it, she said that it started and ended her day just right. She’d watch the sky while I watched her, the only sounds around us were wildlife and birds chirping.

This place only brings back painful memories for me now, memories that hurt so much sometimes it feels like I’m going to explode. She’s everywhere I look here and there’s no getting away from it.

Time. That’s what they said I needed, but they’re wrong. Time doesn’t heal anything, in fact, it makes it worse. All that time does is make me struggle to remember what her voice sounded like, the way she laughed, even how she smelled. Such small things, but as each day passes, it gets harder and harder to remember.

“Son?” I spin around, wide eyed.

“Oh, hey, Dad.” I try to smile but I know for a fact that it doesn’t come across, I’m stuck back there, in the past.

“You good?” he asks, standing next to me.

“Yeah,” I say, scraping my hands down my face, trying in vain to make the memories evaporate into thin air.

It doesn’t work though, every time I come onto my parents’ land, I’m assaulted with too many memories. Which is part o

f the reason why I try not to come here often.

Dad looks at me, understanding shining through his chocolate brown eyes, eyes that we all inherited. He may think he understands, but he doesn’t. He can’t possibly know what I went through, he’s never had to deal with that kind of loss and hopefully never will because it broke me beyond repair.

“Your ma is looking forward to seeing you,” he says, walking toward the house.

I know it’s a dig at me, like he thinks I should visit more, but between my job and not wanting to come back to this house, I just don’t visit. That fateful day I also lost my parents because cutting them out almost completely was better than seeing them here and reliving the memories which would only bring me back to square one.

“Charlie!” I hear Ma’s voice come from the front door and my head shoots up, my face breaking out into a smile. My ma is one of those women, the kind who looks after everyone and loves them no matter what. That doesn’t just include people, it also includes animals. As a kid, there were always sick or abandoned animals that she’d bring home from the vet’s office that she owned.

My arms go around her as soon as I’ve climbed the steps and I breathe her in, realizing how much I miss her.

“Hey, Ma.”

“How are you doing, son?” She places her hands on my cheeks, looking deep into my eyes, holding me in place so that I can’t look away.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I say, not wanting to tell her that it kills me every time I come here. That I can feel my heart breaking in my chest.

She nods slowly, almost as if she knows that I’m lying to her and leads us into the house. I come to an abrupt halt when I hear other voices and look over at her, silently asking what’s going on.

“Ty and Kay came over,” Ma says as way of explanation. “Oh, and Ava and Corey too.”

I frown at her. I didn’t know that Ava was in town, we’re close, we have been since she came into all of our lives. When she was going through a really bad time, I made sure I was there for her every step of the way.

I walk into the dining room, searching for Ava straight away. Her ice blue eyes capture mine and she smiles softly, standing up and pushing back her chair before she walks over to me. My arms wrap around her automatically as she leans her head on my chest, squeezing me around my waist.

“Hey, Charlie,” she whispers, pulling back and looking up at me.

“Hey.” I grin. “How are things?”

She knows this is a loaded question and her eyes seek out Corey’s where he’s sitting watching her.

“They’re good,” she says, turning back to me. “Really good.”

I wrap my arm around her shoulders and walk her back to her seat, sitting down next to her and opposite Ty.