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I can’t keep doing this, I can’t keep living my life knowing that I’m only good enough for Charlie when he decides that I am for the night.

I’ll never be able to match what Emmy gives him because there’s too much history and memories.

It’s time I took a stand and cut him out of my life once and for all. I should be with someone who will love me for me and not want to throw me away once he’s had his way.

The problem is that I’m not even sure that he exists, at least not for me.

“You collect the drink orders from the tables in the main area, bring them back to me. I make them and then you serve them, it’s that simple.”

“Right, okay,” I answer Garrett as he leans against the other side of the bar, a towel draped over his shoulder as he lifts another glass and wipes it dry.

Tonight is my first shift at Diva’s and I have exactly twenty minutes to learn all the ins and outs of my new job before the doors open and the patrons come in.

Little do they know that I’ve been preparing for this for days. I have my tight jeans on with one of the tank tops that has “Diva’s” written on the front and my gun hidden away in my holster on my ankle. I don’t go anywhere without Betty attached to my body or at least close by. Good old Betty has been by my side since I first started at MAC Security and fits to my hand perfectly. I break it down and clean it daily. I’m a firm believer that looking after your tools is important, especially when it’s a gun.

I certainly wouldn’t be serving drinks here without some kind of protection. Not when I know the kind of clientele that comes in here.

Now the real work begins, both serving drinks and watching who comes and goes. Keeping tabs and committing their faces and names to memory.

I spend hours going back and forth between the bar and the tables, all the while introducing myself and getting people’s names.

The only table I haven’t ventured toward is the one that Jonny is sitting at with a group of four guys. They look to be in deep conversation and I know I need to get closer to them if I stand any chance of finding out what they’re talking about, but I need to bide my time. I need to be clever about it.

The lights in the main room dim down, signaling that it’s time for the second act of the evening so I go back to the bar, leaning against it as I watch the woman dance her ass off.

People think that being a stripper is seedy, but the way I see it, you have to have real stamina and skill to be able to dance like that five nights out of seven. To be able to get that high up on the pole and only grip it between your thighs. I tried a class once, that shit was hard and I was left with bruises all over my body and aches in muscles that I didn’t even know existed.

“Take it to the boss,” Garrett says, pushing a tray of drinks and a bottle over to me. I smile at him and he frowns back. I smirk, knowing that he’s the kind of guy that likes to have as little interaction as possible, either that or he’s decided that he doesn’t like me.

“Got it,” I tell him, balancing the tray of glasses on one hand and holding the bottle in the other, weaving through the chairs and booths, trying not to disturb the people whose eyes are intently watching the main stage.

“Will be here in five days,” I hear Jonny say.

I try to be as silent as I can as I place the tray down and hand them each a tumbler and the bottle of whiskey. No-one talks as I hand them out and I flash Jonny a nervous smile before backing away.

“Kitty?” he calls.

“Yeah?” I ask, turning back around to him and shuffling my feet. Most people take it for a nervous gesture which is fine by me because it adds to the innocent act I’m trying to portray. It’s anything but that, I just like to be able to feel the weight of Betty on my ankle.

“Come and meet some of my… friends.”

Friends? Yeah, right.

“Okay.” I move forward and stand to the side of the booth. Jonny’s hand comes out and wraps around my waist, bringing me down next to him and into the booth with them.

“Marco, Dennis, Truman, and Giovanni.” He points to each of the men in turn and I take note of who is who but it’s hard to take in all of their features in this dim light.

I offer them all a small wave and shift in my seat. Jonny must think that I’m about to get up because his hand comes down on the top of my thigh and squeezes gently.

“Hi,” I say softly.

I’m rewarded with a couple of “heys” and a grunt back.

“So how you liking your first shift?” Jonny asks, coming closer to me so that I can hear him over the pulsing beat of the music.

“Yeah, it’s good.” I smile.

“You have any trouble you make sure you come to me, okay?”