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I can’t believe that she was snooping through my things. Who the hell does she think she is?

I can’t stop the feelings and memories flowing through me and I down the rest of my beer, foregoing getting another in favor of the bottle of Jameson I keep on top of the fridge. I grab the bottle and pour some in a glass, downing it and then doing it again, over and over before moving to the living room and collapsing on the sofa.

My head pounds at the memories I try to keep at bay but nothing is helping. I want to remember but at the same time I don’t want to, I want to pretend that none of it ever happened, that she’s still here, sitting with me.

I can almost feel her soft silky hair between my fingers, and if I try hard enough I can feel her face between my hands, her lips against mine and her body lying next to me.

“Charlie?” My eyes flutter open and my lips spread into a smile at the sound of her voice calling out to me.

“Morning,” I say, my voice gruff from sleep.

Her hand flows down my face and cups my cheek, the pads of her fingers scraping through my morning scruff. “Morning.”

I stare into her eyes as they swirl with happiness.

“Whoa.” She grabs her swollen stomach.

“Emmy? What’s wrong?” She doesn’t say anything, instead she takes my hand and lays it on her stomach. “What’s that?” I whisper.

“She’s kicking.”

“Yeah?” I grin so wide that I swear my face could split into two.

I place my other hand on her stomach and shuffle down on the bed, laying my head on her legs.

“Hey there, baby,” I say to her stomach before I look up at Emmy to see her smiling, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Uh oh, hormones have Mama again.”

“Stop it,” Emmy chokes out, tapping the top of my arm.

“Okay, okay! No need to be so violent.” I chuckle as I jump up off the bed and hold my hands out in front of me in surrender as she stands up and takes a step closer.

“Oh no you don’t, mister!”

She rushes forward and I take another step back, laughter taking over my whole body as she reaches me and pokes me in the chest.

I wrap my arms around her, lifting her up slightly and pressing my lips against hers in a bruising kiss.

“Fancy saving water with me?”

She looks up at me, her eyes narrowing. “Fine, but only because I care about the environment.”

“Sure you do.” I smirk, holding her hand and leading her into the bathroom.

My breath catches at the memory, the last time I held her, the last time I heard her laugh, the last time I saw her smile. It runs through my mind on repeat, just like it has for the last four years.

I can’t stop the sobs as they take over my body and I let them wrack me with brutal force.

They say time heals all wounds, but they’re wrong, they don’t. It just makes the memories so much harder to remember. Her voice slowly slips away until I forget what she sounded like, what she smelled like.

My eyes stay closed as my hand moves around, trying to stop the incessant ringing that vibrates through my head as I pick my cell up off the floor and stab at it blindly.

“Yeah?” I croak, trying to keep my cell against my ear.

“Charlie?”

I huff at the sound of Ty’s voice.

“What do you want?”