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“Well, go on,” I said, crossing my arms across my chest.
“I behaved like a fool, leaving you at the doorstep when you were ready for me, and for that, I apologize. I panicked.”
He waited, shuffling his feet, as though he wanted me to tell him all was forgiven.
“I’m not good with people who have a temper. When I saw your brother angry and swearing that night, I didn’t want to enter that situation. I didn’t want to deal with the possibility of his anger directed at me. I was just an accountant, looking for a fun date.”
I could feel his earnestness, but I was long past forgiving men for treating me badly. I reached for the door handle, ready to shut the door, when Will stopped me.
“Walk with me, please?” Will asked, placing the bouquet in my hand.
I held it, thinking of the five bouquets of roses and orchids that Sean had ordered for someone else. What an over-the-top romantic gesture that was. I couldn’t help but feel envious.
This one felt like it belonged to my world. An apology bouquet that he’d probably bought at the grocery store. A bouquet from someone who ate at the same restaurants I did, who shopped the clearance racks first, and who worried at the thought of the bills at the start of a month.
But Will had abandoned me once already. I had felt like I was drowning in icy-cold waters when I saw the empty doorway on our supposed date night. The bitter taste of being stood up at my doorstep was not something I’d ever forget. I’d had to fight my way back up to normalcy once already when Bruce had abandoned me while I was still in my wedding dress.
Was Sean getting ready to abandon me too? Had he met someone else at the conference—someone who lived in New Jersey? Was that what the five bouquets were about? I’d been so guarded around Sean, showing him very little of my life, and he still behaved so inexplicably. His curt text messages had hurt.
I knew Will’s bumbling apologies were a clear sign he’d disappoint me again—and I wouldn’t be surprised.
I nodded, swallowing hard. “I can do a short walk around the block,” I said.
I grabbed a coat and accompanied Will for a walk.
38
SEAN
Iwaved goodbye to Tanya at the doorstep and turned and walked down the stairs and into the waiting car.
My time apart from Chloe had been frustratingly empty. I felt a void I couldn’t explain. I understood her so much better after our night at her home, and instead of putting an end to our time together, like I had originally planned to, I had asked her for more.
As my car pulled away, I looked back at the red brick building, which was the Beatling Nursing Home for memory care. On the upper-right floor, through the window, I could see a faint image of a woman in white, watching me, and I turned away before Mom could see that I’d seen her. Before she could see my guilt.
Mom.
What would Chloe think of me?
It was partly the reason I hadn’t been able to answer her text honestly.
I’d come here to this nursing home to meet with Tanya, the personal caretaker I’d assigned for my mother. Mom was well taken care of. I called Tanya weekly to get updates aboutmy mom’s health. This time, Tanya had called me during my conference on Friday to let me know Mom kept asking about my dad.
“She’s been demanding to see him,” Tanya had explained. “To the point where she tried to make her escape from our facility this past week. Is there anything I can do to calm her down?”
It had been five years since Dad’s death, and there was no way I could help Mom. I didn’t really want to either—not when the woman had cheated on Dad and broken his heart before leaving us to live with another man.
She’d never paused to consider her son or ex-husband or how heartbroken we were when the one person who had tied us together left.
Thinking back, I could understand leaving a partner, but leaving your kid? Thank goodness Helen hadn’t abandoned Lucas. It was why I hadn’t fought Lucas’s choice to stay with his mom, if that was what he wanted. It was what I’d wanted as a kid and never gotten.
But as I thought of Tanya’s question and wondered what I’d do if Mom’s next attempt at leaving this facility worked, I remembered an incident from before Mom had left us.
In those days, Dad would always surprise Mom by buying her multiple bouquets of flowers to mark special events. Birthdays, anniversaries, et cetera. Mom loved flowers so much that Dad would joke that our house always smelled as fragrant as a garden in full bloom.
“I think I know what to do,” I had told Tanya before texting Chloe. “I’m sending something over for Mom today. Could you please make sure she gets it delivered to her room?”
The flowers had helped, and after my conference was done, I took my private jet over to New Jersey to meet Tanya and get further updates on Mom’s health that week.