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I didn’t need to nod this time, but the vulnerability in my expression must have been enough because he didn’t press for more.
“Let’s stop talking about me,” I said, taking a sip of my wine and feeling bold enough to ask a question that was on my lips. “Tell me, Sean, why are you still single?”
“Ah, the tables have turned, I see.”
I nodded, grinning. “I get to interrogate you about your single status now.”
He swallowed his mouthful, staring at his half-eaten plate for a long moment. “Well …” He paused, and in that instant, I saw a determined look cross his face and knew he didn’t want to go there tonight. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t date,” he said lightly.
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, women still find you interesting. Quite a few men frowned at you while their dates ogled you when you walked into this restaurant.”
He laughed. “I didn’t notice.” His voice lowered even more. “Perhaps it’s because I was looking at you.”
I blushed just as the server came up to clear away our empty plates.
“But to answer your question more honestly, my last relationship was over a year and a half ago. With every woman I dated, I’d start seeing too many similarities between her and my ex-wife. I didn’t want those reminders, so I decided to keep things simple. Nothing serious, nothing that lasted longer than a month, and only on weekends.”
There was more to why he was against love, but he wasn’t opening up completely just yet.
“Moving on to lighter topics, how do you feel about dessert?” Sean asked while I stared at the dessert card.
I read the first item—matcha white chocolate mousse with yuzu sorbet—with interest. I had no idea what yuzu was, and I wasn’t going to ask. And what was a ganache au chocolat?
Everything looked delicious on it.
I bet Henry would enjoy this place, I thought wistfully.
Something on my face must have given me away because Sean looked up.
“I’ll get two of each of the desserts to go,” he told the waiter, who nodded.
I looked at him in surprise.
“It’s for you to take home,” he said in a gruff voice. “You had the look on your face that said you’d feel guilty for eating it alone.”
I would.
“You know, I have a theory about why you’re single.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Really?”
He pretended to not care, but I could see a hint of fear in his eyes. He had dated quite a few women, I was sure, since his divorce. But none of them had lasted because someone had left a very solid, painful mark.
I inhaled. “You know what I think?” I asked quietly. “I think you’re a very competitive man. You need to be in control all the time. But you can’t control personal relationships, can you? The success of a relationship isn’t only on you. They’re on both of you. So, you’re afraid of long-term relationships because they remind you of the one time you think you lost control. The one time you think you failed.”
He shook his head, his expression a mixture of frustration and longing as he looked back at me. “The only thing your psychological skills do is remind me that I made a good choice in finding you to help me repair my relationship with Lucas.”
We were just inches away, unable to tear our eyes off one another. Was it just my presence with Lucas that he was grateful for? My stomach bottomed out, and I felt like I could be sick.
I tore my eyes away from him when Traci swung by.
She had brought us six to-go boxes with delicious smells of raspberry, sugar, and chocolate wafting out of them.
I turned to Sean. “Take half of these home,” I told him. “I bet Lucas would enjoy them too.”
Sean’s voice was hoarse. “You never forget our deal with Lucas, do you?” He sounded like he regretted it. “But hold on. Let me ask Traci to divide this up.”
Sean spoke a few words to Traci, and I turned around to pick up my jacket when I noticed the tip that Sean had left.