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And that she was lying to herself.
She had gotten tangled in something serious in New York. Something she didn’t feel equipped to handle. And if she, the most capable and fearsome woman I’d come to know, couldn’t handle it, then I sure as fuck couldn’t. But I’d find a way. I’d find a way to ensure Calliope didn’t face this, whateverthiswas, on her own. And if it was her past shooting at us, I’d make sure thatshe didn’t push me away in order to keep me safe and her more isolated.
How I’d achieve all of that, I had no fucking idea. But I would. I had to. There was no other option.
I held her tighter, as tight as I dared. She didn’t wake. My eyes stayed glued to the door, to the entrances.
No way would I sleep.
I knew I wouldn’t sleep soundly until the threat to Calliope’s life was gone. Until I figured out how to get that weight from her shoulders, keep her from bolting like a scared deer under the mistaken impression that she was protecting me.
Seventeen
Wouldn’t Come Back — Trousdale
CALLIOPE
“Did you shoot at me yesterday?” I asked the second Jasper picked up the phone. Which was after exactly three rings, like always.
No matter what he was doing, where he was, he picked up the phone for me. Day or night. It used to be charming. Before the mind games, murders, sexual assaults and possible assassination attempts.
“I think I’d remember that.” He didn’t seem perturbed at my greeting, nor did he seem surprised.
I squeezed the phone, anger making me want to Hulk out and smash something. Actually, I wanted to smash Jasper’s face. The insane amount of rage I was feeling toward him was unfamiliar but not at all unwelcome.
“I’m okay, you know. Alive. Except for the flesh wound on my arm. Thanks for asking.” His usual lack of concernwas something I’d also previously found charming. Thinking it was endearing that he was confident in my ability to handle anything. That he didn’t need to coddle me, protect me.
It was nothing but chilling now, in the face of Elliot’s complete concern about my well-being that wasn’t patronizing or controlling. It was caring. Elliot showed me what it felt like when someone truly and selflessly cared for you.
“I’m aware you’re alive since you’re on the phone,” Jasper replied flatly. “And you’ll know it wasn’t me since if I was shooting at anyone, I wouldn’t miss.”
My heart compressed at the certainty in his tone, a truth I’d already come to yesterday, but hearing it out loud made it all the more disturbing.
“Despite current circumstances, the fact remains that I would never shoot at you,” he added in the same unemotional tone, yet there was a slight intensity to his voice that was rare.
That was his way of saying he cared about me. As much as a man like him was capable of. Never overt. Never in a way that would leave him exposed.
I inhaled deeply, looking out at the waves. I was two towns over in a swanky hotel bar drinking a martini and working. If someone was trying to kill me, I didn’t need to be around anyone who’d get caught in the crossfire. And I knew that the Jupiter crew would be descending on my house at some point, something I didn’t need.Noraneeded them, fussing over Henry. Taking care of her. I wasn’t able to steal her thunder just because someone decided to get trigger happy. A good thing they weren’t a better shot, I supposed. Otherwise, poor Henry’s birthday would always be shadowed by my death.
“Is your employer contracting out my assassination?” I believed Jasper. He was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar.
“My employer does not want you dead. You’re too useful for that.”
I tapped my finger against the rim of my glass when I caught the eye of the server, needing another. Needed a hundred more drinks. If only I could drink my problems away. Millions of people had tried that before, doing nothing but creating a million more troubles. Yet we continued to try. Because what else could we do? Face the world sober? Strong people did that. People I did not want to fuck with, those who raw-dogged life.
“Not trying to scare me back to New York?” I was looking for a hole in Jasper’s story. Truth be told, it would be nice if it was him so I could know and form a plan. The shooter being unknown just added to my list of shit to do.
“If they wanted to scare you, they wouldn’t do it with a flesh wound.” Jasper’s tone was full of foreboding.
My teeth smashed together. Yeah. That I knew. The mob was a lot of things, but they weren’t subtle. I would’ve lost a finger, if I was lucky.
“You have someone else who wants you dead and has terrible aim or who wants you scared and is stupid enough to think the shooting would scare you,” Jasper added when I didn’t speak for a long time.
He was confident that I wasn’t scared because he knew me. That I was too jaded to be frightened by a botched shooting. And that would’ve been true if I’d been alone. If I hadn’t been walking with someone who’d used his own body to cover me, willing to get himself riddled with bullets to ensure my safety.
That terrified me.
The thought of Elliot bleeding to death on top of me, his life given willingly to save mine, walking around breathing while he rotted in the earth.