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The two things I’d promised myself I’d never have in life, let alone in a city I was only staying in temporarily.
The reasons why not were infinite.
Yet I got out of the car, my heart slamming against my ribs as I reached up to knock on the door. It opened before my knuckles could meet the wood.
Elliot didn’t look surprised to see me. The hunch that he’d been watching me in the car from his window seemed correct since his face was relaxed, eyes twinkling with warmth and amusement.
“You decided to come in, I see.” His smoky eyes ran up and down my body with a hungry edge that conflicted with his charming tone.
My skin vibrated under his gaze, reflexively responding to the juxtaposition of this man who smiled easily and was polite yet also ordered me on my knees without a second thought.
My hands curled into fists, nails biting into my palms at the thought of being on my knees, with the hunger I had for him.
“Against my better judgment.” My voice was hoarser than I intended. I was angry. Angry for being so weak, angry at Elliotfor being the cause of that weakness, for overcoming all of my barriers and looking so fucking smug about it.
He leaned against the door, not seeming in a rush to get me inside or get my clothes off. I knew he was attracted to me, could feel the intensity between us, saw the desire right there in his eyes.
Did he not have overwhelming urges like I did? Or was his self-control somehow stronger? The latter was definitely true since he was not the one who was at my doorstep right then.
“Against your better judgment?” He arched a brow.
I nodded. “This is a bad idea” I repeated what I’d already said countless times. I was a broken record, so annoying of me. I didn’t repeat myself.
“Yet you’re here,” he winked.
“I’m known to indulge in bad decisions on occasion,” I shot back.
His eyebrows danced, not affected by my tone, smiling. “I consider it an honor, Calliope Derrick, that you’re indulging with me.”
My breath hitched every time he said my full name, like it was somehow a sexual act yet reverent and special at the same time.
Our gazes locked, and neither of us said anything, birdsong filling up the silence between us. Though I was desperate for him, I was not going to make the first move. I’d already made the first move by coming there, hadn’t I? Admitted defeat, proving that I wasn’t strong enough to resist Elliot and stupid enough to engage in a relationship with him.
He blew out a breath, and I felt it on my face, smelling of mint and him. “Since you’re here, you can come with me.” He stepped out the door so our bodies were squeezed together on his front step.
I attempted to step back, but his hand flew to my back, holding me to him tighter as he closed his door.
He snatched my chin, lifting my face upward.
“Made my day.” His eyes searched my face as his thumb brushed my bottom lip. “And perhaps a lot more than that, seeing you pull up, trying to convince yourself not to get out of the car and doing it anyway.”
My chest seemed to weigh a thousand pounds as it crushed against my heart, lungs, all my vital organs as I stood in Elliot’s arms.
“I’ll prove this isn’t a bad decision, Calliope,” he murmured gently.
My body was struggling to stay upright and continue functioning under the power of the look he was giving me, the intimacy behind it. So I didn’t speak. Didn’t need to. Surely, he was going to kiss me, and then I wouldn’t have to fill this silence with words I wasn’t practiced in. Words I wasn’t capable of.
I was going to die if he didn’t kiss me. His face was inches away. My eyes were already heavy in preparation.
But he didn’t. He stepped back, grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me down the cobbled path of his front yard.
I’d only properly registered that he was dressed in another cable-knit sweater—this one a dark navy—a beanie, curls escaping from the sides, faded jeans and some tennis shoes. He looked exceptionally effortless, masculine and attractive. He was obviously getting ready to go somewhere when I arrived. And had I pulled in just a few minutes later, he might not have been here. I might’ve been able to fortify my shields and form concrete resolutions to stay away from him.
A slow vehicle in front of me, a fender bender, a fucking deer on the road… All things that might’ve saved me from this decision. My watertight belief that there was no such thing as fate was starting to leak.
It took a handful of Elliot’s long strides for me to gain my bearings. We were not heading to his truck but along a well-worn path that led to the woods that bordered his house.
“Where are we going?” I demanded.